Wednesday, May 23, 2007
9:27 PM
My favourite.
Misunderstood - if the world's gonna take sides, I'm gonna be left standing alone.
Maybe people only see your efforts but I do put in effort too, though I don't really show. I don't go running around shouting, "I love you gaygay." But yes, I do care and you still matter in my heart.
This morning you said hi to me, I was sort of cold, because I wasn't feeling very wonderful, I've been able to hide my true feelings from the world, but when it comes to you, everything shows, the mask falls off. I'm sorry, I can't help it.
& imagine my heart being squeezed so hard when we're talking, and you constantly talk about something/someone else, like I don't really matter. & today during mother tongue lesson, it's like I'm invisible, not there at all. I didn't dare look at you, though my heart's hurting so bad and I really wanna say, "am I really that insignificant in your heart?" But I didn't, because I didn't want to cry today.
& to jan and ming, please don't see things one-sided, because it hurts people's feelings. Especially ming. You don't know the whole story, you don't see my tears or my sweat because I don't really talk about it with you.
You're tired, so am I. I wish things weren't the way it is, so many times. I pray to God every night to bless this friendship, to make things right, to let it last again. But He didn't, and everything happens for a reason..
I really don't know now, so lost and down. I promised not to be emo, and I'm not. Just speaking from my heart. Yes, from deep down my heart..