Tuesday, May 29, 2007
8:25 PMI've since moved on.
Ask me where I've moved to, and I might tell. :]
2:26 PM
Oh, I just created a new skin. & I think it's niceeeeeeeee. Facing some html problems, in which I hope will be solved soooooooooon. Damn, maybe I should move. Bwahaha, goodbye, earthlings!
I'm an alien, invading earth. Now, who was tricked into thinking I'm actually human? ;]
11:21 AM
I have thought about it, I shall just stay here, because moving away would be too much of a fuss. Like moving house, you have to move your furniture here and there right? Yeap, too much trouble. Shall stay here, where all the past memories are - good or bad. :]
Some times I wish you had more time for me, but I'll understand, that your life doesn't revolve around me and you have other things to do. Some times I wish you were a little less reluctant, to meet my friends/cousins, but I'll understand that it's just one of the little things you can't do for me. I'll do my best to keep out negative thoughts, to cherish you, to hold you above all the other things. On the way, I'll learn tolerance, patience, how to cherish, how to keep believing in things I believe in no matter what people say & how to love. These past two months, you've shown me things I never thought was possible, you brought me to greater heights. Thank you.
Third month soon. :D
JAN&MING, JIA YOU! Have faith in your love and believe in yourselves and each other. You'll pull through for sure, ask yourselves how you managed to hold on for those past 11 months, and you'll find the strength to go on. 1 year isn't an easy feat, don't give up!
Jan, I'll be here for you!
Monday, May 28, 2007
7:43 PMToday is a happaye day :D
Morning woke up to a house full of screams and shouts -.- zzz, cousins came over then plus grandma around, chaos! So ended up playing cake mania instead. BWAHAHAHAHHA, I'M TEH PRO YO! LOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I wanna go over to your place! Then we'll spend the whole day playing cake mania. HAH. :D
Then lemon darling came online. Was supposed to go to the library to study, but then he's at the lan shop with his friendsssss, so I got ready, then took 130 to thomson to look for him. Eh, I realised that actually I'm not lu chi! I got very good direction sense, because I walk walk walk, and I actually found the place even though someone gave me wrong instruction as to where to go.
:D Watched them play for a while, then we went to take bus, supposedly to library, but then took 855 to vivocity instead. HEEEEEEEEEE. LONG BUS RIDE! :D Rocks okaaaaaaaaaay. Someone kept saying train, when he meant bus. HAH! Very retarded laaaaaa. xP
We walked around vivo aimlessly, then we saw a lot of cuuuuuuuuute puppies at pet safari! I'm gonna get a dog, and he's gonna get a cat next time when we have our own place. :D Then our cat and dog will live in harmony, or else my dog's gonna pwn his cat. HAHAHAHAHA! ;D
No photos today, because it's just walking around and talking. :] Yaye, so happaye! Then took 145 back to toa payoh, then we saw this.. old man and woman, then I think they're having an affair or something la, because they are not those lovingloving kind, it's like more of lust kind of thinggggg. So yeap!
Super eeeew okay! Public place, that woman had to talk so super loudly and attract attention, and she had to lean over towards that man. I mean, old already.. please don't do that in public la. Want to do, also don't speak so loud riiiiiight. Then that man leaned over to kiss her and all. 0.0
Everyone on the bus was looking at them with the irritated look on their face la. x/ Long bus ride from vivo to toa payoh, boyfriend sent me there, then went back. Heeeeeee, kiss on the right eye. :] Never aim properly. ;P
Then saw michelle while waiting for the bus, then this malay boy came and cut the queue and stood right in front of me, and copied my every move. Very irritated la, then michelle kept laughing and laughing. Stewpit, then I started laughing also. So it's like the whole time, two of us were laughing like mad and everyove kept throwing glances at us.
Then we got on the bus, that boy sat behind me, then kept talking a lot of nonsense, then he actually knew my name! But then I don't remember him at all leh.. =/ He sort of like entertained us throughout the whole journey till I alighted la. We kept laughing like cowssssss. MICHELLE, YOUR FAULT!
Before alighting, wished michelle good luck because that guy might just follow her home. Bwahahaha, cos she kept saying, "yi ding gen ni hui jia de". But then he didn't, so.. MUAHAHAHAHA. FOLLOW MICHELLE HOME LA BOYYYYYYY. xD
Okay, shall end my post here. :]
I love lemonnnnn!
Replies to tags.
junwen ; :D thanksthanks, jun!
jan ; haha, bananas rockssssssss! smells wonderful yo!
loo ; loo, i love you laaaaaaaa. :D bestbest!
shuying ; haha, thanks for tagging :]
amanda ; thank you. i'll try. :]
lemon/yfdarling/boyfriend ; :D smilesmile for you. heeeeeeeee.
pris ; haha, yeap! shall link you up when i have the time too. :]
jan ; aye, hope so la. but relationship kinda thing is easier to sort out i think..
shermin&cheryl ; i wish things didn't get so bad, but it did.. i don't want it to end like that too, but i guess it's a little too late now..
Saturday, May 26, 2007
1:38 PMI am back again, because they are out, and they haven't taken action towards lappie or socks or choconut yet.
Outing yesterday with mily was goooooooood. Really talked, and really felt much much better. So we walked around bugis, then to marina square where I bought this sweater at fox, just to make myself feel better. It's all part of annabelle's retail therapy where you feel the heart burn later.
Then we went back to bugis again, just to dine at fish and co where we shared the seafood platter, which saw me slurging over 40 bucks in less than 6 hours. Bwahahaha, I really should go hide under my sink and cry now.
Later at night, some crazy thing possessed that woman and she started screaming and shouting at me about ptc, about what she's going to say to my teacher yaddah blah, when the teacher's supposed to do the talking. -.- Was talking to laopo on the phone, and I was feeling very miserable, so obviously I would want to talk on the phone and she shouted at me saying that I should put down the phone to talk to her when the fact is that she's the only one doing the shouting, I don't really have the chance to talk back, because she'd accuse me of being rude and insensible when she's shouting questions at me, obviously I'd have to answer, no?
Parents have to be the dumbest people on earth, and laopo's right, they should take a walk in our shoes for a month, and they'd know what it's like. I'd be very happy being a parent, coming home and venting anger on them. Hah, I'd be laughing at them when they cry.
I was trying to reason with them, which was futile, because I was so pissed with myself and them that I was crying and words couldn't escape from my mouth.. Then boyfriend had to call. So of course, I couldn't say much and thank goodness choconut ran out of battery, else I'd die on the phone. Ended up sms-ing instead, and we sort of sort out our differences already, but I forsee a rocky journey ahead, hope we'll be able to pull through.
& you know what, I needed friends at time like that, and I lost my best. And nope, she wouldn't care about my survival. Doubt we'll ever look each other in the eye any more. Oh well, what can I do..
Alright then, I shall patiently wait for ♥ to come online, and I hope it's going to be very soon.
Yeap, who wants to be my monkey friend?
9:25 AM
PTC sucked. I got bombarded about my attitude and sitting posture(?!). Although I think mrs seah revealed more things about me, she has a better way of saying things la. Then that stewpit nantha keep saying nonsense. Hello, I got attitude, you got it worse than me yo.
Then after that jiu kenna nagged and scolded and shouted at. Fuck, I don't even want to listen any more okay. Want to throw away my colour socks, fine. Then don't know how that stewpit woman link to contact lens, say don't want to buy for me any more. -.-
So die die have to work during holidays, or else I'll die. Maaaaaaaan, I hate parents and teachers. So people, you won't be seeing me online, maybe only on rare occassions. They are going to take away my laptop and maybe my phone.
I hate everything that's happening now la, please. This shall remain dead for a very long time. I have to freedom or anything already. Damn it. They are home already.
Sucks la please. So fucking pissed and disappointed with my parents whom I assumed understood me beyond anything/anyone. Thought I could always confine in them, but turned out I'm wrong. ]:
Thank you laopo for everything, for talking to me and telling me you'll never leave me like the rest did, thanks fartsie for that message, needed it pretty much. Thank you darling for not letting it go. Thanks to all who cared.
Friday, May 25, 2007
1:39 PMBecause now I'm hurting so badly, trying to swallow the tears, I love you still, but I have to let you go. So different, yet we've stayed together for over two months. I think it's time our differences take a toll on us.
It hurts.
9:00 AM
annabelle! [: 170307 says: bwaahahahahahaa
annabelle! [: 170307 says: hellohello
*[[ Jun Cheng]]* I WISHED U WOUDNT EVEN FUKING EXIST,EVEN IF U DO I WISHED I NV KNOWN U says: hi
*[[ Jun Cheng]]* I WISHED U WOUDNT EVEN FUKING EXIST,EVEN IF U DO I WISHED I NV KNOWN U says: lol
annabelle! [: 170307 says:today is a braaaaaaand new day
sian la MYE sucked says: ???
annabelle! [: 170307 says:things will all be fineeeeeeee
sian la MYE sucked says: u siao izzir?
annabelle! [: 170307 says: [: yaye, be happy ahhhhh
Okay ah, that's what you've said yourself. So please mean it and be happaye. Why does it all hurt so bad when it isn't something big from the start? Our hearts are making things complicated, hurting itselves in the process. Why make something so simple so complicated? Happy jiu hao laaaaaa. Right?
Sigh, too little too late. We can't even bother to reassure each other about our fading friendship now, no more "we will be alright soon", because we all know our efforts are futile, both our hearts are shutting each other out, because of the pain we've inflicted on each other, one way or another without meaning it.
I have so many things at hand, and I have absolutely no idea why. Maybe it's just me, always making a big deal out of everything. Gah, I don't know, I think I live in a way that life is a fairy tale and everything's gotta go according to planned, even though I love surprises.
I am still so weak, despite all the past experiences. I still have to cry over the phone with laopo yesterday, he had to put up with all my sobbing and kept saying, "don't cry, it'll be alright." Why isn't that person you? I felt so bad, and our conversation got cut halfway through, and I thought maybe that's a sign for me to go to bed and rest my battered self.
It's a brand new day today, and I think I've started it well, by encouraging myself, and talking about how I feel. I should feel better now. :]
Deborah, yes that person is you. I hope you don't feel offended by what I've said, but instead take to heart and think about it. Then tell me, will our friendship turn to dust. It's like I have a power of predicting the future or something. I'll remember you. Such an apt song. I'll remember you, yes. No matter how it turns out, you've been my best, I've loved you, but if it's not going to work out, we shall leave it behind and stop hurting ourselves, and each other.
& when you love a person, you don't have to keep them by your side.
Instead, let them be happy with someone else, if you can't bring them happiness yourself.
Wo hui xue zhe fang qi ni, shi ying wei wo tai ai ni.
Wo hen tao yan bei ju jue de gan jue, ni que ju jue le wo.
I know I really should understand and not force you to go out with people you don't know.
But I really didn't want to understand, I didn't want to care. Yesterday I just wanted to make myself happy. Yesterday I was selfish. But today I'm still selfish, I don't care if you like it or not, I just really want to spend time with you. But you're also selfish, you don't want to make me happy. You wouldn't even give me a call after going offline. You don't care.
Okay, happy ah, dickhole with honey-glazed legs. :D
Thursday, May 24, 2007
9:59 PMThird post for today, and I'm really really tired, and wanna get away to some where nice, where you meet nice people speaking foreign languages, smiling at you, hoping you'll understand that you're hogging their seats.
You just never appreciate the people that's around you. Always running from one person to the other, you don't cherish at all.
If you get what I mean, you won't ever know it's you, because I shall not let known who's you until I feel like announcing you to the world. You.
My brain feels so dry and it's gonna shut down automatically soooooooon. Oh man, so tired.
Very disappointed with you la, never thought of you this way. Why, I didn't want to bring you out to flaunt to the world, I just wanted to spend more time with you, that's all. Fine, whatever. I feel so irritated with you, and very pissed at myself for even asking you out. Dickhole, I hate being rejected, though I keep getting rejections from people this month. Curse you, may. I hate may. I hate things that sounds like may. Do note that this you has nothing to do with you on top.
You may think I'm not making sense, but I know I'm making perfect sense to myself, and I think my brain works wonders. I love my eyes and hair that God gave me. That's the only things I love about myself, oh and my wonderful brain. I love being random like that. I love getting my hair messed up by val, loo and celine and look like a lunatic on the run, because it makes people laugh, and I love their smiles.
I want to really get a new url and blogskin soon. Yeah, I wanna have my freedom of speech. But I don't like lj. =/
Mummy really talked sense into my last night. She talked to me about my results and all without once reprimanding me, but just asking if I want tuition, and telling me about all the possible consequences of my laziness. I am going to reject the offer if I ever get the job as a waitress there, because I won't have time to study. I'm going to work very hard and not make mummy disappointed again. I will look out for flyer jobs in the mean time, and I'll do my very best to study.
Yeap, I love mummy. & she said, "true friends are those that are there for you when you're in need, not those that needs constant attention and need to talk to you everyday on msn. You're just wasting your time. Those that you talk to on msn are usually those that touches your life, and goes as sudden as they appeared."
Makes so much sense.
Fine la, fine. Go jump around boats, you'll finally land in the sea and drown. Much as I hate it, I'll be there laughing at you because of your tardiness at understanding and your stupidity, much as I loved you.
Okay la, go break a leg tomorrow or something. Wo hen lei, I don't wanna bother about anything already. I don't want boyfriends any more for the moment. It's such a task to think of them everyday, what they're doing, who they're with, and think of stewpit reasons for their actions just to make myself happier.
I want to be my honey-glazed ham/happaye dickhole/yellow banana.
So tired now. On the phone with laopo, enjoying the silence and the comforting sound of his breath. I'm very tired.
9:10 PM
Oh man, cheer up bellebelle!
Bugis with milyyyyyyyyyyy.
Aye, anything + whatever la.
My eyes hurrrrrrts. ]:
He don't want to bother about me already la.
Whatever la.
I feel like sleeping and irritating popo and dinooooooo. :]
Fafa's gonna buy me chocolates on the first day of schoooooooool.
Yaye, chocolates! Fafa's teh beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeest. :D
Jia you, happy yi dian!
8:36 PM
I'm a happeeeeeeee dickhole todayyyyyyyy!
Chinese lesson! :] SPCA with darling one dayyyyyy, because we have to complete our project. :D Bwahahahaha, so happaye! ^^ Popo kept saying that my legs reminds him of honey-glazed ham, and it makes him hungry. Oh man! What nonsense.
Not happaye already. Because stewpit boyfriend don't want to go out with me tomorrow. Dickhole la. So spoil mood. Want to continue happily talking about today also cannot. ]:
So to conclude my day.. was really really happy with my hair cut and treatment and with my dear kar chng. Yes, me love my hair now, though mummy says there's no big diff, but it's layered nowwwwww. & it smells so niceeeeeeeee. & you can't find damaged hair. BEST MANNNNN.
Okay la, don't wanna write already. Very upset.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
9:27 PM
My favourite.
Misunderstood - if the world's gonna take sides, I'm gonna be left standing alone.
Maybe people only see your efforts but I do put in effort too, though I don't really show. I don't go running around shouting, "I love you gaygay." But yes, I do care and you still matter in my heart.
This morning you said hi to me, I was sort of cold, because I wasn't feeling very wonderful, I've been able to hide my true feelings from the world, but when it comes to you, everything shows, the mask falls off. I'm sorry, I can't help it.
& imagine my heart being squeezed so hard when we're talking, and you constantly talk about something/someone else, like I don't really matter. & today during mother tongue lesson, it's like I'm invisible, not there at all. I didn't dare look at you, though my heart's hurting so bad and I really wanna say, "am I really that insignificant in your heart?" But I didn't, because I didn't want to cry today.
& to jan and ming, please don't see things one-sided, because it hurts people's feelings. Especially ming. You don't know the whole story, you don't see my tears or my sweat because I don't really talk about it with you.
You're tired, so am I. I wish things weren't the way it is, so many times. I pray to God every night to bless this friendship, to make things right, to let it last again. But He didn't, and everything happens for a reason..
I really don't know now, so lost and down. I promised not to be emo, and I'm not. Just speaking from my heart. Yes, from deep down my heart..
6:48 PM
Late night conversations with laopo's the best. It's been so long since we've last talked, and I guess we both miss each other's voices over the phone at night. :] He made me realised how much I've changed and all, and he keeps saying please go back to the past, when I'm still single and all cos he doesn't see me much now. I miss my old self too, some how..
Made plans to meet him today to go to school together, so I woke up at 5.40, then got ready, and it was too late to walk out to take 130, so I just waited for 139 downstairs and dropped at balestier to wait for 130.. Waited for a very long time before two buses turned out from bhps, then I thought one of them must be 130, so I stood up to flag it, then who knows! 139 in front and 145 at the back. -.-
I was too embarrassed to sit down again, so I just boarded 145 to go to toa payoh because 139 was crowded. Then took mrt to amk. Ohmaaaaaan. I'm so retarded laaaaa. -.- But okay la, reached there, walked around.. Then called laopo to ask him where to meet and all that and realised I was quite lost though I just walked away from the mrt station for a while. Then panicked and kept asking him not to put down the phone cos I was afraid. Haha! xD
In the end we still met up and we walked to school. :D He kept saying that we're gonna be late and all that la, so stewpit. In the end we reached school at 7.10. HAH! Keithy choi's still not in class yet lorh.
Yeah, then stewpit popo's finally baaaaaack from his chalet. Slacker ponned school yesterday to go to chalet to play la! Eeyerh! Don't like popo la, never bring me along. Heeeeeeeee.
Was reeeeeeeally pissed during mother tongue cos jan dao-ed me, derrick koh like bu shuang me, and deborah was a disappointment. She asked EVERYONE to have dinner with her except for me when I was sitting right beside her. Dickhole la, very very upset and disappointed and all.. ]:
History lesson was gooooood. Irritated mr goh, then kept talking to popo, fafa and stewpit jhmage. xD Then they saw my neoprints and kept giving stewpit comments like, "eh, last time you cuter leh. Why now like that.. Aiyoh, not that you're ugly or what, but not chio already la. Blahblahblah.." Hurt feelings laaaaaaa. >< Rawr, then they kept saying that siying's chio. HAH! :D Recess was crap session with popo also. Hanwee likes to pat my head, and I like getting my head patted. :D HEEEEE. So happaye yo. Then darlinggg got her breast hit by meeee. xD Veh funny la. I love darlinggg! <3 & rachel's so nice, she lent me money to go for my hair treatment supposedly. Awwwwww. I love twoTHREEEEEEEE!
Then lessons were blahblahblahhhhh. Serene sms me to go cut hair with herrrrr. :D HEEE, I love my cousin for once because I've been begging her to go with me. Then in the end had to cancel the date because jan asked me to go to darling's house to talk. =/
But serene tan's the best la. Told her I couldn't make it today, then she asked if I could make it tomorrow. T.T So gan donggggg. I LOVE YOUUU, KAR CHNG! ;P So after school, went to j8 to da bao food to darling's house.
I da bao-ed double cheese and mcspicy, in which I've finished both. :D Puberty stage, I'm growingggg, so I'm not fat. Say I'm not fat please, or else I'm gonna stab you in the tummy.
Reached darling's house, they chiong-ed ps2 after eating, then I went into the room to read comics and enjoy the air connnn. xD Haha! Then darling came in to join meeeeee. :]
Bwahahahahaha, darling hugged me from behind when I was reading the graphic bible! I saw God, and Adam & Eve! :D Haaaaaa. Man, so xing fu, with God and darling. :DDDDDD HUGHUG FROM BEHIND. :]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
& thank you shermin for everythinggggggg<3 Really needed you to talk to me and all. Man, I love you! :]
Then after that just lazed around and I fell asleep on darling's bed. HAH, then I kept saying, "wo yao shui jiao." When they woke me up and refused to leaveeeeeee. I wanna stay over laaaaaa. Heeeeeee. Then I kiap-ed darling. :D I love kiap-ing darling! So fun la. :]
Then his tuition teacher, who's also a pastor, came then he told him we're doing project, though I have NO IDEA why he has to report to him. I wouldn't bother explaining at all. Hah! We lazed around and slacked and gaygay left first, then winston, jan, mingming and I left. :]
Walked to 7-eleven to get my Whatever and Anything with jan, but then they don't have it and the indian lady didn't know what we were talking about, just like in the commercials. HAH! So we went to ntuc, but it was sold out. So never mind, I took 88 to toa payoh to look, and it was also sold out. Then went to cheers, and they didn't have it.
So I took 145 to shaw plaza to look, and I've finally found it! YAYE. Got the last can of Anything. :D I was so happaye, grinning from ear to ear yo. But anyways, Anything tastes like pepsi, so please don't try it if you don't like pepsi, but buy it if you like pepsi cos it's cheaper than pepsi. 70 cents per can.
Whatever's slightly better I guess, tastes like apple teaaaaa. Okay la, BUT veh sweet, both Whatever and Anything. Errrrh, so yaaaaaa. Please don't drink it at a daily basis.
OH YA, this boy was sitting behind me with his mummy and he was whining through the whole trip la. "Mummy, art lesson starts after school ends. You know?" xtimes3! & yaddah yaddah. Rawr, was quite irritated la, why cannot talk properly! He reminds me of andra, I think they should be put together to irritate the hell out of each other. :D
I turned back, and saw that he's actually very handsome. WHY TALK LIKE A SISSY, BOY! YOU HAVE A GRRRRREAT FUTURE AHEAD. BE A MAN YO. I guess I won't mind natnat looking like him, but don't act like him please. Aye, wasted.
Today's appreciate the scenery day. I took nice photos! :]
Shall upload later or something. I really like it a lot la. :]
Psychology or photography or mass comm or chemistry! Oh man, so many courses I wanna take, but I can only choose oneeeeee. Sheeesh.
Ogay, shall go finish my Whatever while waiting for darling to come online. :]
I hope gaygay's blog isn't talking about me, cos I thought we were alright already. =/
Oh well..
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
5:50 PM]:
Because what I say, it goes two ways, to two people.
Look into your heart and ask yourself, would I like to let this person slip away?
If you really need this person to be your sunshine and show you the way through, but you have to betray your conscience, will you still do it?
To leave or to stay, to give or to take, to tell or to remain silent?
It's always been me to speak from my heart, but I can't take the risk, not any more. Because I'm not reckless and immature now. But when my heart can't hold it any longer, and my mind wants to speak.. Hell's gonna break loose.
& I ain't gonna like it.
11:13 AM
Blogging from my phone is school nowww. Got a feeling mummy will faint when she get my bill next month. Haha! :D
Job interview later and my pweetyyy shoes! YAYE, SO HAPPY OKAY! Okay, I shall get lost now. :] Talk about my day later.
I love my darling!
Monday, May 21, 2007
7:41 PMSchool with gaygay tomorrow! :D
YAYE. SO EXCITED.
Daddy just called to report that he's safe and sound.
I don't know why I feel like crap now. =/
Weirdddd.
6:52 PM
I want a new beginning, & I think I need it pretty much now.
Shall move away to somewhere, after I've done up the skin, and thought of the url.
Hmmm, till then, I shall blog as and when I feel like.
& today's good. Thanks for everything, people. Really needed the encouragements, love and all. Blades of glory's good. Think everyone should go catch it, just to have a laugh or two. Yeah, having a companion's good.
I love you, darling. :]
Saturday, May 19, 2007
8:08 PMOkay, I am officially emo.
I can't stop crying.
I hate life now okay.
I have decided to go home straight after school everyday.
I have decided not to care about anything any more.
I don't give a fuck about yo fucking people.
My paper heart's torn, it can't be fixed again.
I don't give a fuck okay.
NO ONE FUCKING CARES ABOUT THIS FUCKING LONER.
NO ONE FUCKING WANNA TALK TO THIS LONER.
NO ONE FUCKING CARES ABOUT HOW THIS FUCKING LONER FEELS.
NO ONE GIVES A FUCK, NO ONE AT ALL.
I'm very tired, too tired to hold on okay.
I give up on life, I give up.
Not gonna try to do anything about it ever again.
I feel like jumping down the damn building.
Drown myself in the river.
Slash myself in the wrist.
BUT I'M A FUCKING COWARD.
FUCK LA. USELESS FUCKARD.
GO FUCKING GET STRUCK BY LIGHTNING LA.
WORLD WILL BE A FUCKING BETTER PLACE WITHOUT YOU.
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK. GO TO HELL AND BURN.
12:35 PM
Thank you jan for talking to me when I'm not feeling that good. :]
I appreciate it. <3
12:16 PM
Why can't life be like a drama serial?
In dramas, people always have happy endings some how. ]:
I feel so no life and no friends and no nothing now.
I feel sad, not emo.
I have no idea what's wrong with the world.
I've been telling myself, keep your chin high up dear.
Don't let things this trivial get to you, things will be fine soon.
Hey, y'know what? Things are taking a twist.
It's stabbing me hard in the throat now.
I need someone to bring me out again.
I need a miracle again.
I miss all the smiles and fun I've had.
I miss all the "I love you" I receive from friends.
But I don't get them now, nope.
Maybe because I've not done enough.
Enough is no longer sufficient, people will need more.
I don't know what to do already okay.
I wanna just get lost.
I wish I could be taken away now, right beside God.
I don't feel like holding on trying to be all sunshine-ish.
]:
Friday, May 18, 2007
7:26 PM
The cool grafitti kinda thing at the cage.
GAY WORLD HOTEL :D
At the cage..
Boyfriend's oversized shoes. ;D
His new soccer boots. Hah!
While at the bus stop..
GEYLANG, yet again. :D
Bus to go to the cageeee.
Photos in random order.
No idea why there's even school today, considering the fact that we're dismissed at 10. Went to darling's house after that. xD Bwahahahaha, looked around, then after that manymany people came, then we retreated to the room with jan. xD
Heeeeee. We rolled around with austin and pillows and bolsters and I made him scream like a gayyyyyyy. ;D Darling, you lost la, face it! Hahahaha! Aw man, can we do that like every two weeks? It's suuuuuuuper fun okay and I feel so happy & all. ;P
Went to novena to buy kyaw and darling's soccer boots, jan and I saw this pair of pretty sneakers over there! :D $59 only you know! Can buyyyyyyyy. Hahahaha! Me want that, plus the two pairs of nike shoes and a pair of adidas slippers.
Then mrt to kallang. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, felt very safe and secure because darling was supporting me all the way through. Wo hen xing fu, bu guo wo mei you peng you, wo hen no life. LOL. Lalala, I'm trying my best already yo!
Reached the cage, then just sat there with jan and we watched them play for two whole hours. 0.0 Haha, then kfc, then 11, then 13. Bubble tea with darling, and we talked on the wayyyyyy. He's the only one that I really talk to now. ]: NO LIFE.
Rawr, what happened to meeeeeeeeeeee? ]: OH NO! I just remembered I forgot to pray before dinner just now. ]: This is so baaaaaaaaad.
Okay la, I should end now and go get a life. Goodbye.
Gaygay, I really miss us.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
10:18 PMI'm not sure of how I'm feeling now, but I have to keep the faith and all.
I believe in having just one best friend instead of many other friends, because they never speak to your heart, but that one person does, and hits the target. That person could be you, deborah tan wei xian aka emokid who's "emotional and have a very low self esteem, often think too much when you've got nothing to do, and have a hunger for freedom and understanding"
Next time when I ask for something, I shall not be stewpit and naive and say that I just need this one thing to make me feel happy again, because it's all bull. When you have friends, you asked for someone to love, and to be loved.
But when you're in a wonderful relationship, you'd lose a beautiful friendship that you've once taken for granted, thinking that it'd never end and nothing will come in between. If you're doing it now, please stop it, don't take things for granted. Nothing's for sure, nothing's forever.
Why is striking a balance so difficult? Tell me now, just what does it mean to be a teenager? Raging hormones, being in countless relationship that fails, cry, friends pick you up, happy, another relationship, happy, lose friends, cry? Aw man, then being a teenager's really taking a toll on me.
I wouldn't walk away, if you want me to stay.
I wouldn't shrug you off, if you need a shoulder.
I wouldn't cover my ears, if you need a listener.
I would be your best, if you'd open your heart to receive me.
Dear Lord, I need the strength to go on now. With all the obstacles I'm facing, that's trying to trip me. I know You can't bear to see me fall, please hold out Your arms to me and let me feel Your presence.
Amen.
6:28 PM
HAPPY TWO MONTHS TO US!
THANKS FOR OCTIE! :D
Sorry for not getting you anything..
I love you. :]
Forever and ever, eternityyyyyy!
Bwahahaha, results were like shit. Blahblahblah, whateverrrrr.
Since darling's gonna write a short post, I shall do so too.
:]
Darling, thanks for the beautiful memories for the past two months, there ain't no one like you. Please continue to put up with me and make me the happiest baby on earth. :D
austin&octie!
sign language!
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
7:16 PMDear God,
Please shower Your love upon cashmere and make things easier for him. Please let his mum understand that he should not be taken for granted and should be loved and cherished instead. Please give him what he deserve, surely You can't bear to see him suffer even for a day. Lord, please let him see that bad patches in life wouldn't last forever. Lord, please make him happy again.
]:
Darling, I'm praying for you, in a way that I'd talk to a friend. I remember what you've taught me. Please cheer up, and be happy again. I love you. ♥
3:01 PM
From nong nong time ago.
SUSHI TREAT FROM DARLING.
Meeting with ade & naipeng. :D
Sexy's shoes.
:D MY NAME'S ON THE MENU YO!
THE FIVEEEEEEEE. :]
YESTERDAYYYYYYY. :D DARLING LOOKS VERY MAN IN THIS.
NO SARCASM.
Eh, that was out of boredom. :P HAHA, ANGEL & DEVIL YO.
VAL JUST CALLED ME. HOLY BALOONEYYYY.
I GOT 42/60 FOR SCIENCE. MCQ 22/30 & 20/30 FOR SECTION B. What the hell, the paper was so difficult I tell you, the 22 marks I've got was solely based on tyco-ness. Moral of my story is to pray to God for wisdom, and you'll be able to do it. THANK GOD! I feel like crying now. God's so kind to meeeeeeee. T.T
Aw man, I hope I did well for english, asking cheryl now.. Hope she'll reply sooooooon. Man, I think not cursing helps y'know! But now my vocabulary will be very limited. Like now I keep saying man. -.- BUT IT'S ALRIGHT. I LOVE GOD. :D
KEITHY CHOI OWES ME CHOCOLATE NOWWWWWWWW. :D HEH, KEITH, BET THAT WAS UNEXPECTED! KISS MY ARSEEEEEEEEE. ;D BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Okay, don't let it get to your head, or else when I get back the rest of my papers I'd die of a broken heart.
& as if me not going to school has anything to do with any teachers. Mrs nair asked val why I didn't go to school, saying that I should know that they're going through the papers and I expect people to do corrections for me. Chey, your problem meh. Cheryl didn't complain, so that means you don't have the rights to.
HEEEEEHEEEEEE. I hope the game ends soon, and darling will go home early then come onlineeeeee. I wanna talk to him. :D
Cheryl replied! 36/50. Eh, Okay I guess? But that means there's no more A2 for me.. Aw, okay. Anythingggggg.
2/5's WINNING! :D 5-0 nowwwwww. DARLING SCORED 2 OF THE GOALS! YAYE, N FOR NATNAT-S! :D
Hokay, I told mummy about it and she was very very very shocked, cos she expected me to do very badly cos she sees me sitting in front of the laptop everyday and never once did she see me touching my book. HAHA, she's very cute. She said, "really? So next time when there's exams I just put you in front of the laptop can already la? Then must tell me earlier, don't buy books, then can save money what."
HAHA, WTH. I'll try to make her buy me a new geog textbook after getting back all my results. xD That kuku that stole my book better return it to meeeeeeee. Then I'll have extra cashhhh. ;D
Bwahahahaha, oooogie. Shall go dig for treasure in the fridge and cupboards now. :D
Goodbye, y'all!
11:39 AM
Hello, due to my laziness, I have decided to stay at home today instead of going to school though there's double chinese. Now I'm sort of regretting it, cos it's so boring at home and I can't see yellow fragrant darling.
Gaygay told me I got 72 for chinese.. ]: I didn't meet my target for myself, which is A1. Chinese was the subject that I had most confidence in, and I had to get an A2. Very upset about it..
Then valval called to tell me that I've got A1 for geog. 0.0 Any how do get A1, put in heart and soul get A2? Wth. -.- Not that I'm not happy or anything, but why like that! Sigh.. Valval's gonna tell me my science marks later. For science, I'm quite certain I wouldn't do well already, so must get ready for the worse. Please just don't let me score lower than C6. That's all I ask for.
Yeah, I hope I wouldn't get a big fat f for maths. ]: So upset okaaaaaaay. I hate failing my science and maths, because it's important. AYE, CRAPPPPPPP. & I WANT AN A2 FOR ENGLISH, since chinese got only A2.
I wanna die, I wanna just die now. T.T
Any ways, added things to my banana blog. :D Heeeeeheeeee, so cute right! Especially the monkey and dancing banana! Teeeeheeeee, veh adorable. But my favourite's the yellow banana darling & the yellow banana baby. Why? Because it means something to the both of us, it has its significance. :D
Tomorrow's 17th again! But then I don't know what to do for him already. So darling, we shall just treat it as a normal day okay? Or else I'm going to bang wall and squash my teeny weeny brains. WHY YOU LIKE THAT AH, BELLEBELLE. So no brains, cannot even think what to do for the love of your life.
Aye, so sad. I hope they win their game later, or else darling's gonna be very upset again.
Okay, I shall go shower, then lunch, then upload photos. I wanna go for a haircut! But stewpit serene tan si ying didn't reply my message. Rawr, HAIRCUT!
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
8:11 PMI've got the world's best boyfriend ever, even though he makes me mad at times, he's darn sweet and understanding and everything. Thank you for your love, your time, your patience, your presence, your everything. I promise I'll cherish and will try my best not to let your heart ache, not even a single bit. ♥
Wild hogs, swensens, walking around, arcade, train rides, his house, home. :D
Summed up.
Haha, I love you, yellow fragrant darling. :]
Monday, May 14, 2007
9:55 PMOkay, I'm in the mood now.
Maths paper sucked, I'm ready to fail my maths and science and d&t again. Hur, I'm quite upset, but then.. don't think I'm very bothered. Hoho, I'm to stop swearing, but if you read my blog often enough, you'll know what I want to say. Suck something. Yeah.
Street soccer court again after maths paper. I scored my first goal my any how kicking yo! :D Haha, everyone was about as shocked as I am I guess. Street soccer is cool and it's the love! Cos I can scream and shout and irritate everyone by marking, today my victim was zhensiang. WAHAHAHAHA. xD
But because it's too much for me to take, the tears just fell by itself again. I can't stop it in time, I failed. I give up okay, I give up on everything we've shared. I'm not going to hold on to false hopes that I've given myself that you're going to love me as much as you did. I tried so hard to hold on to something which was as difficult to grasp onto as air. I can't stop you from making new friends or drifting away from me, I can't expect you to treat me as your one and only. Things feels so vague now, I'm lost now, hard as I might to try to be normal - I just can't help myself. It's not moodswing, I know. It's been there, just not addressed. Now that you're gone, what am I supposed to do? I don't know, I really don't.
Cine with the usual four other people. Pastamania, followed by gawking of pretty shoes and tops and slippers and dresses yaddah yaddah, then jan went to pierce her cartilage again. Third time already yo.
Walked around the watched bridge to don'tknowwhere, which was a waste of money, considering the fact that it has a storyline which leads to no where, probably the enchanted forest, but the soundtracks were nice. My feet/toes kept cramping during the movie, and boyfriend had to bend here bend there for me. Bu hao yi si. LOL.
Walked out and realised I dropped choconut, then he ran all the way up again to get for me. :] Hurhur, thaaaaaaaanks. :D Maestro bistro for arctic 8 again. Talked about lame stuff and planned tomorrow's activities and all. Theeeeen, home.
Ah yesyes. What if, just what if.. oh no oh nooooooo. No one knows about this, not even boyfriend, or anyone. I hope I'll be able to keep this to myself before it gets out of hand, like turned into a blown up *****. Now it's just minor minor, please let me off and save me the sorrows and sorry-s and goodbye-s. ]:
I dislike myself la. What's wrong with you, annabelle tan xuan rong! What rights do you have to make people weep for you because of the little swaying of your heart. ]:
Please don't do this. Please, I'll get down on my knees. Don't do this to yourself, and them..
6:57 PM
It has been so long since we have talked
I hope that things are still the same
hoping they will never change
cause what we had can't be replaced
don't let our memories fade away
keep me in your heart for always
You made me believe
that I can do almost anything
stood right by me
through the tears through everything
I'll remember you,
and baby that's forever true
you're the one that I'll always miss
never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for you, no matter what you're goin' through
in my heart you'll always be, forever baby
I'll remember you
I promise you I won't forget the times we shared, the tears we cried
You'll always be the sun in my sky
It may be fate that brings us back to meet again someday
Even though we go separate ways
You made me believe
that I can do almost anything
You stood right by me
through the tears through everything
I'll remember you,
and baby that's forever true
you're the one that I'll always miss
never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for you, no matter what your goin' through
in my heart you'll always be, forever baby
I'll remember you
If the day should come when you need someone
(you know that i'll follow)
I will be there
Don't ever let there
be a doubt in your mind
'cause I'll remember you, you
I'll remember you,
and baby that's forever true
you're the one that I'll always miss
never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for you, no matter what your goin' through
in my heart you'll always be, forever baby
I'll remember you
Forever baby, I'll remember you
Please refer to other people's blog for my day today. Because I still don't feel like blogging.
6:42 PM
Don't feel like blogging now.
Maybe later, or tomorrow.
But I just have to write this.
HUR, KER.
-.-
Sunday, May 13, 2007
7:45 PMHAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL MOTHERS :]
My mum and aunt with roses. ;D
The noble mothers who went through labour to squeeze us out of their vaginas though the pain almost killed them.
Serene and I had the honour of cutting the cake because we bought it. :D
Biggest strawberry ever, and it's not sour. Heeeee.
I miss boyfriend a lot.
Shopping tomorrow. :]
Gaygay and peachie feels very distant. Maybe the bond's not really mended yet.. ]:
Darn. ]x
Job interview on tuesday. I need a job sooooooooon.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
10:02 PM:D I'm so happy now, why? Because boyfriend called without me asking and the call lasted for 48mins and 18secs without me noticing. Like wowwwwww. It felt as if it's only been like 10 mins okay. :]
But he refused to sing to me even after my incessant whining. ]:
He told me a corny and dirty joke. One day a rabbit carried a corn and jumped into the mud. The end. LOL? 0.0
& andra kept shouting then I think choconut's too powerful, he could hear her very clearly even though she's like 10metres away? Haha!
Today is love your boyfriend very much day. :]
I guess after quarrels and that incident which almost caused me to lose this sweetsweet boyfriend, I've learnt to cherish and love what I got and have faith. :D
I want gaygay to be happy. But I don't want gaygay to make new friends, because I feel as if she's drifting away now. x/ So selfish, but I can't help it la. When you have new friends, you tend to drift away a little, no?
Patricia tan drift to don't know where already. Zhao bu dao liao.. ]:
Aye, happyhappy!
1:12 PM
Bold whatever is true.
01. I have kissed someone of the same sex on the lips.
02. I see/saw a therapist.
03. I'm the youngest child.
04. I like sharks.
05. I did love my gauged earrings.
06. I wear black eyeliner every day.
07. I am extremely influenced by kindness.
08. I love to write, even though I think I suck at it.
09. I can't live without lipgloss.
10. I'm probably emotionally scarred.
11. I lived in Tahoe.
12. I spend money I don't have.
13. I'll be in college for over 4 years. I would like to get a high degree, so i plan on being in school for a while.
14. I love designer handbags.
15. I've had a concussion before.
16. I'm not good with confrontation. Unless standing up for something i believe in.
17. I loved the Backstreet Boys.
18. I have more than a couple of horrible memories.
19. I'm addicted to Degrassi.
20. I've tried writing poetry before but it sucked.
22. I'm not a fan of rap.
23. I love taking pictures.
24. I hate people who are fake. well hate is a strong word, more like i lose respect for people that are fake.
25. I can be mean when I want to.
26. When I allow myself to get close to people, I get very attached.
27. I am bisexual.
28. I have way too many pairs of shoes. you can NEVER have too many pairs of shoes
29. I was into Hot Wheels as a child.
30. I dress how I feel that day.
31. My room is painted a colour other than white.
32. I cry very easily. depends?
33. I'm always early.
34. I barely ever study for tests.
35. My birthday is my favourite holiday.
36. I have too many clothes for my closet/dresser.
37. I am a morning person.
38. I wish I was smarter.
39. I believe that it is wrong to be gay.
39 I want to shoot anyone who made 39 Bold.
40. I don't blame gay people for being gay.
41. No one really knows me. well a few people
42. I don't have many bad hair days.
43. I sometimes fight with my parents.
44. I am passionate about my interests.
45. I have had the chicken pox.
46. I'm a hopeless romantic.
47. I feel empty sometimes.
48. I am/was clinically depressed at a point in my life.
49. I am no longer depressed because of medication.
50. I am very outgoing. uh, okay i guess?
51. Christmas/Chaunaka is my favorite holiday.
52. I can be very insecure.
53. I don't notice it, but I'm told I'm very softspoken.
54. I hate ignorant people. Hell yeah.
55. I love the colour yellow. YELLOWBANANAS!
56. I love guys/girls that play the guitar.
57. I state the obvious. Constantly.
58. I'm a moody person.
59. I sometimes have a low self-confidence.
60. I've contemplated suicide. used to.
61. I hate cleaning my room.
62. I tend to get jealous.
63. I like to play video XBOX games.
64. I love John Mayer.
65. I get more upset when I see an animal hurt than a person.
66. I'm a vegetarian/vegan/don't eat meat.
67. I've had a crush on a teacher before.
68. I am too forgiving.
70. I have a good sense of direction.
71. I'm happy with my life most of the time. eh, okay?
72. I've played a musical instrument for more than 5 years.
73. I can function perfectly well without a girlfriend/boyfriend.
74. I love kisses on the ear.
75. I love the colour blue.
76. I don't sew.
77. I am not addicted to drugs.
78. I wear contacts.
79. I don't really care about politics.
80. I hate Bush, but I have reasons to justify it.
81. I don't take criticism well.
82. Conformity is stupid.
83. I love Colin Farrell.
84. Rocker/skate boys/chicks turn me on.
85. I love my family.
86. I don't mind getting shots.
87. I am a perfectionist when it comes to certain things. namely relationships.
88. I always wanted to learn to play the guitar/drums.
89. I can be too hard on myself.
90. I don't believe that premarital sex is wrong.
91. I don't like my nose.
92. I am very religious.
93. I still act like a little kid.
94. I am ridiculously indecisive.
95. I believe in a higher power or some form of an afterlife.
96. I love music.
97. I'm in love.
98. I have problems letting go of people.
99. Ashlee Simpson is awesome.
100. I don't really like ice cream.
101. If I can make you laugh, then im being myself.
102. I still love Hanson.
103. I'm really good at lying, and at keeping secrets.
104. I think the judgement of others is wrong, though i acknowledge that it occurs and everyone does it.
105. I love The Used.
12:08 PM
Hello, I'm going through the usual cycle on early weekend mornings. Wake up, watch tv, eat, watch tv, eat, watch tv, off tv, come up, turn on laptop, chat. & the person I'm chatting with now is none other than -drumroll-
LIMYONGSENGTHEBIGBULLYWHODOESN'TWANTTOBRINGMEOUT. Just because it's supposed to be a boys outing. ]: Eh, discrimination! Then now no one's talking to me because he went to change to go out.
Where is boyfriend? Church should've ended already whaaaaaat. Go date with his childhood playmates la, must be. Hur, never mind! I've got my own childhood playmates. xD
Uh, okay, I shall bum off now until something interesting or boring amuses me. I hope you know what I mean. Ah, my blabbering habit's returninggggggg. This is bad, veeeeeeery bad. SEE.
Anyways, I'm trying my best not to swear. :D No f words, no w words, no s words or d words.
"Ask and it will be given to you ; seek and you will find ; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives ; he who seeks finds ; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."
Matthew 7:7
GLORY TO GOD!
Friday, May 11, 2007
10:05 PM因为现在站在世界高峰的关系觉得很开心，但也会担心，如果有一天就从哪里跌下去，我该怎么办呢？我想现在能做的是享受每一份每一秒，不去理会后果。
你不知道，那一秒我哭了。我知道这是真心真意，布设虚情假意。很想就牵着你的手一直走下去，永远都不松手，因为很害怕会失去。我是真地在恋爱， 真得跟一个爱我的人恋爱。虽然不是初恋，却很有初恋的感觉。谢谢你所提供给我的无限的爱，我会更加珍惜的！
:] Please change to unicode to read.
Gaygay haven't been very happy these days. Please cheer up okay? I'm still not good with words, but I'd like you to know that I care. I love you, bestfriend.
8:35 PM
:D
Interesting dayyyyyyyy online. HAHA!
Stewpit limyongseng bullying me again. Like ade must say, although that'd be unfaithfulness to girlfriend.. BUT must be true to your heart! xD
SUMMER LOVE BY JT! HAHA, very gayyyyyyy.
Hao la, having mass in msn already. Why? Because my boyfriend's going crazy.
Goodbye! :D
5:28 PM
I've made it through 700 posts! :D
Maths & science killed okay. ]: I'm gonna fail even though I prayed for wisdom. Boooooohoooooo! I don't want okay! I wanna pass and do well to get into 3/2 next year!
Rawr, okay forget it. Sigh, today stomach cramped like mad. ]: Thanks for the chocolates, you. :]
After the papers, wanted to go home to rest, but ended up playing soccer with the boys instead. Was quite fun luh. ;D Talked and laughed and screamed and sent balls flying. Heh!
I love my boy. ♥
Thursday, May 10, 2007
4:04 PMI feel damn upset, I think slightly worse than how I felt just now writing my first post for today.
We've decided to give each other one last chance, but if it doesn't work out, we'll part but remain friends. All planned out, like it's going to happen. Though it's my idea, because it'd be the best for us, but I can't help hurting and thinking that that day will dawn upon us soon. ]:
What happened to going to the same class, going to SAJC, growing up, exchanging vows, settle down in a nice house and having natnat-s? Aw damn. This is only slightly better than a break up. This phase of being in a relationship sucks.
Stewpit.
Don't know why, but I keep feeling that I'm sharing boyfriend with someone else. ]: Namely someone whose name starts with an 's' and ends with an.. don't wanna say.
Feel like we're coming to an end soon. So sad..
2:55 PM
I didn't get my chocolates today, but he didn't die, I did.
一件很容易的事到了你的手上，不知如何就成了一件很困难与无理的要求。很想再一次用微笑带过，但我的心不知不觉地不肯再次受到创伤。我也累了。
Chinese brought enlightenment. The passage for compre really set me thinking, and I think I'll do well because I've answered all the questions with my heart, not that it actually matters.
Sorry, my heart can't receive any more disappointments. If you're hurting, I'm hurting a thousand times more. When I have to fake all the smiles and pretend it doesn't matter. Telling you how I feel but you end up saying something that makes me hurt more.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
9:18 PM:D
English and lit was craaaaap. There's nothing to write for summary okay. ]: Lit was because I didn't study much, but I borrowed loo's notes in the morning and read a little and it came out! Bwahahaha, I am super lucky!
Uh, something happened during the break after english paper, then after lit paper, we met and ignored each other. Went to 202, where me and jan just sat there talking. Library with gaygay, jan, mingming, winston, faris and cash after that.
On the way we talked about smoking, turned out that all of them had their virgin taste of cigerrates except for cash and I. Sigh, we are good children, not like the rest of them. ;D
Reached library, then yaddah, okay already. :] Was very very very hungry, so went to mac's with gaygay and and cash. Bwahahahahhahaha, double cheese yo! :D
We talked about manymany things that were very sick and funny. Iggy and natnat-s are going to be good friends, and iggy's gonna marry natalie! :D In any case, if gaygay gives birth to a girl, one of my three boys have to marry her. HAHAHAHAHAH. Planned out properly already ogay!
Home with cash, then he bullied me on the bus. Gen wo da xiao sheng! ]: Then still dare to say don't have. Mummy's right laaaaa. He'd better give me my chocolates by tomorrow, or he'll dieeeeeeeee.
Okay, chinese and d&t paper tomorrow, in which I have studied for none. :D
ALL THE BEST, & GOD BLESS!
P.S ; I don't like that person tagging this board! RAWR. I DON'T LIKE LA. STEWPIT BOY IS STEWPIT. WHY? BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU LA.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
9:29 PMWO HEN GAN DONG!
Fafa's daddy struck toto and gave him $300, so I asked him for chocolates, then he came online and told me that he'd try to get me rochers tomorrow. That's not really why I'm gan dong. I'm gan dong because I didn't tell him anything, but he knows that I like rochers!
-sobsob- Fafa, wo hen ai ni laaaaaa.
:D
Okay la, wo ye hen ai cashmere. Wei shen me? Ying wei ta song wo san duo mei gui, bu guo wo yao nian hen jiu cai na dao. Dan shi bu yao jing, wo hai shi hen ai ni! :D
-translation-
Okay la, I love cashmere very much too. Why? Because he gave me three stalks of roses, but I had to nag for a very long time before he finally got them for me. But it's alright, I love you still! :D
Oh anyways, my sister saw the roses, then she kept saying you're going to get married, you're in love with a boy, then proceed to singing happy birthday in which I presume she thought was the song that people play during weddings. -.-
I've successfully made keith promise to buy me chocolate if I get one A1. :D Yaye, my di di's nice la. Heeeeeeeeeeee. ^^ I told fafa, and he volunteered to buy for me if I do well also.
WO HEN KAI XIN LAAAAAAAAA :D
♥!
6:31 PM
CASHMERE HUI YI HONG GOT ME FLOWERS TODAY
BUT WHY AM I NOT VERY HAPPY
BECAUSE THEY WERE ON THE VERGE OF DYING AND HE SPIKED THEM. ]:
My poor roses..
Papers were dumb. Geog was all based on last minute studying, and history was pure crapping. -.- But I prayed to God before attempting history, and I think I helped a lot eh. Like suddenly I have a rush of inspiration for me to crap. Okay, this is random crap.
Went to watch them play soccer after the papers, then I went to pick up choconut after that.
:D I miss choconut soooooooooo much!
Went there and 1 hour 24mins and a hundred of different scent wisting past me later, I'm finally being served by a guy who keeps a straight face all the time even when he's laughing. How do I know that he's laughing, cos I can hear his hahahaha, but his face remains the same. -.-
It's so good to see choconut, but it looks as if it's been brutally molested by someone because there were fingerprints all over. Hello, I take so good care of choconut, but you just touch like nobody's business? ]: So sad okay!
Went home after that, ALONE. Hey, doing things alone ain't as bad as it was last time, though people still like to stare. I think when you're alone, people tend to pay more attention to you, thinking "what's this girl doing here?" and all that. Well, because that's what I do.
Okay la, talking to cashmere now. All the best for lit & english tomorrow! :D
Monday, May 07, 2007
9:47 PMHey yo, I am back! Why? Because I'm supposed to be checking if mummy has won the big sweep, and I'll get 10% of if she she does. But then never win laaaaa.
Haha, I called cashmere just now. I think I'm darn bad at phone conversations, but I like having them. Why? Because you get to hear the other party and feel their presence, some how? Bwahahahahaha, I am suuuuuper in love with yellow fragrant bananas!
Think I'm going to get the keychain from action city soon. Yay, I am going bananas for bananas yo! :D
Y'know, I never thought I'd be saying this, but heeeeeeey, I love you jinqiang for everything you've done for my silly boy. Not that kinda love love kind of love but those grateful kinda stuff y'know? Okay, you don't know. Why? Because I keep rumbling on and on. :D
Why? Because I'm really happy! Typing this this makes me excited like yay! Hahah, I sound like a kid! x] Why? Because I don't want to grow up! Why? Then I have an excuse to act like a baby and make sure cashmere gives way to me and I can hold on to one of his fingers and give him puppy look and say, "this is how babies hold hands." :D
Anyways, we have all graduated! No more meeting mdm tong! I am happy and sad at the same time, I think I like her eh! x/ Zomg, I'm maaaaad. She's very funny and nice some times leh.
Didn't get our spongebob boxers today, why? Because there's only one piece left. Shho saddx nehhx. LOL. Geog and history paper tomorrow! JIA YOU PEEEEEPOOOOO! Hur ~
♥ Why? Because yellow fragrant bananas are teh lurvvve!
7:52 PM
WE BROKE UP ALREADY.
WHY?
Because I want him to jio me, but he made me angry instead.
Rawr.
But studying at library was good. Why? Because we had fun.
Bras and panties eh, gaygay?
HAHA.
Shall not say much, because I love yellow fragrant bananas. Why? Because you can shove them up idiots asses.
If you're reading this, please note that I'm not self-centered.
But anyway, I think I'm going to call cashmere later.
Why not huihui? Because we've broke up and he has to work his way into my heart again.
Okay, you may think I'm childish, but it matters a lot to me.
How come? You'll know when it's your turn. :D
I'm very happy, why? Because I didn't know I could write so well.
HAH.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
7:48 PMChoconut's sent away for holiday for two days, and my replacement phone for that two days is n70. ]: Okay la, not that n70 is lousy, but I miss choconut super duper much please. Rawr.
I miss my silly boy even more. I hope he'll forgive me.. I have this urge to call him and talk to him, but.. I lost his number, and I don't have the balls to talk to his parents, or his stewpit obnoxious brother who's darn sarcastic on his tagboard and made me feel like rushing to his place to smack him left right center.
Okay la, I feel quite.. I don't know now cos tomorrow's the starting of mye and I still haven't studied and I have to worry about the missing 170307. T.T
If we were to end now..
Okay, I'm officially missing gaygay and our lame ass conversation. Shitzx. Why? Because I feel darn empty without the gay gaygay. Gaygay's not very gay now prolly because of stewpit mye. Gah, how? Suck my cock lorh. No cock how? Go suck those fragrant yellow bananas.
Shall go shower & all that now. Goodbye!
12:29 PM
Okay, I've forgotten to mention this.. Kokhow found me a job at united square! :D Well, not yet la. I have to go down for interview and all that first. So if you're interested in working during the holidays, let me know, then I'll try to help you ask if they are okay with hiring more than one person. :]
Okaaaaaay, mummy just called to ask me to walk out of home. Huihui, please don't be angry and forgive me la, okay? Or you want me to kneel down with a rose and say sorry?
Hao la, anything la.
Kxzxthkszbyexzxsxzz.
11:22 AM
I think I'm feeling better now. Going out with mummy later to service choconut, so I've got to make this quick.
Stayed up last night with the intention of studying, but ended up writing a letter to huihui to apologise, sort of. Then read my stewpit diary from primary school, and it was darn stewpit, really. I hope I won't be feeling the same way when I read my archive when I've left secondary school.
Thank you shermin for calling anyway, explaining to me and all that. Really appreciate it a lot. :]
Oh he just came online. He removed 170307 from his nick. Why? Probably because he wants to say goodbye then my letter can just go into the damn bin. Okay, I shall be calm, and go.. shower.
Yeah, goodbye.
I love you still. ♥
Saturday, May 05, 2007
5:31 PMWhy? Because I don't see the point any more, and I sense that you're getting sick of letting me win. So now what? How I know, go search on the internet la.
Oh fuck, why am I so bleeding sarcastic now? How I know. I can't feel happy totally, like I'll be sarcastic, then a lil upset & all that. Shitz, am I even making sense now? Don't know la. Stewpit.
"I'm sorry you were unfortunate to get a boyfriend with minimum contactibility."
Oh how apt. Since I'm so sarcastic, thought I'd deal with sarcasm wonderfully. But maybe not. So you think you've done your best? What's all that shit about having minimum resources? If you meant to call, you could easily go over to the phone, dial my fucking number and wait for the phone to ring, and hear a jerky voice saying, "hi, I thought you'd never call." I wish I could see you bleed now, hear your tortured cry, it's like a source of comfort, letting me know how real everything that's happening is. I wish the tears would stop falling, wetting my table and shirt.
Fucking bastard just stepped into the house, and he's bloody fuck shouting at me again. Oh thanks ah, I know I'm not good at anything, don't have to remind me. Please look in the mirror. What are you good at? Shouting and screaming at people when you yourself don't have anything under your belt. Fuuuuuuuuuuuck. Reading the bible also wrong. Screw you la. You come home, eat, shower then play your dumb x-box. What rights do you have to say that I'm not good at anything? Just because you ejected a few million sperms into that woman's womb and I happen to be the product of it? Ah damn you.
I hate suicidal thoughts. Gah, go away please.
Okay, I wish I had the guts to slit my skinny ass wrist.
Ouch, it hurts damn bad.
11:44 AM
How am I feeling today? Hmmm, I don't know y'know. Woke up because my sister was being a retard clapping and stomping her feet in the room. -.- Watched cartoons. Winx club, monster allergy, danny phantom & then pokemon. Finally detached myself from the tv and came up with an stewpit attempt at studying, but apparently failed because the temptation of the comp is too great.
Now, tell me why am I so bent on going back to the past when I know I won't be able to relive it again however hard I wish I could. Why am I sentimental when the people I treat with utmost sincerity doesn't reciprocrate?
I need to be strong and brave and get on with life no matter how tough the going gets. Yeah, I'll be meeting new people & all that (though I still like the old ones best). Sighsighsigh, I'm not emo, just sad and disappointed. Why? Because I've lost it all.
Something to be a lil happy about - outing with crys and jiawen on 12 may. :]
I like the old ones best ♥
Friday, May 04, 2007
10:37 PMI should stop searching. Why? Because what's lost cannot be found.
Then how? Build again lorh. How to build? Don't know. Go search on the internet. "How to build a broken bond before it's gone?"
Think that previous post is written in vain. ]:
How? Don't know. Go search the internet lorh.
Why? Because you can find a billion things there.
Why? Because people post them up.
Why? Because people want to share their experiences.
Why? Because don't want you to make the same mistakes as they did.
Why? Because it hurts.
Why? Because when you've given your heart to doing something but it doesn't turn out the way you wish it'd turn out, the disappointment kills what little hope you've held on to.
Why? Because this is life.
Why? Because life's a bitch.
Why? Because life made bitchy friends.
Why? Because many people tried taking their lives.
Why? Because of manymany reasons.
Why? Because they can't cope with whatever's happening.
Why? Because they don't have a will strong enough.
Why? Because they don't have someone to keep them going.
Why? Because life's a bitch and doesn't want them to go on.
Why? Because they'll end up giving their lives away.
Why? Because that's how it goes.
Why? Because I'm writing it all down to prove that everything in the world is inter-related.
Why? Because what goes around comes around.
Why? Because that's the way things are.
Why? Because you're reading this.
Why? Because I've written it.
Why? Because I am trying my best not to be upset.
Why? Because there's a reason for me to be upset.
Why? Because people want me to be.
Why? Because they're selfish.
Why? How I know!
Me thinks sexy is sexy.
Why? Because sexy isn't yxes.
Goodbye.
8:18 PM
Bwahahaha, it's 8.20 now and I'm still in my uniform listening to ni shi wo de bao bei.
Reading -'s blog now. :] Don't know why make me feel so happy. Probably because the way she blogs is cute. Heeheee.
Okay, I really shouldn't try to be happy now, because it makes me feel pathetic, you know. Like how much I miss everyone's company but then they don't want to be with me any more. Yucks, that sucks cock.
Okay, in order to make myself feel better, I shall let everything out. :]
Hello peachie, I have no idea what I said to make you angry that day, but if you're reading this and you're still angry, please don't, because chocolate's still bewildered by your reaction that day.
& gaygay, I don't know what happened to you also, okay. Maybe it's me. Don't know la. I wish we were bestbest-s again, because I don't like the way things are going now. Hello, I miss you. Please don't AP meeeeee. Don't MS on my also pleaseplease. I wish you weren't so cold.
Ooogie, I feel so much better now. Yaye, this is good. I must thank - one day for her blog posts, though I don't know her + she doesn't know me. Heeeheee.
If I say this, I'll probably feel better. Hello boyfriend, I wish you'd call, give me roses, buy me chocolates, shower me with tender loving care without me asking. & even after asking, you still didn't call, or get me my roses. Hoho, why? I don't know. I'm feeling quite hmmm, amused now.
Date with kokhow today was good, he walked around with me, talked to me, and laughed with me. Like yay, but I still want my friends back. Why is everyone drifting away? Don't know leh.
Thanks renee for talking to me, about the past and all. I wish everything would go back to normal again. Like everyone's happy with each other, then we can all live happily ever after! No backstabbing and all, because I'm not that kinda person, I'd probably die without a body. Yeap, if there's anything, any issue at all, please raise it, we'll solve it together alright?
Okay, I feel great now. Like heeeheee. I shall be a nice person now, I will not shout at anyone even though I'm irritated, and I shall be true to myself.
Okay, loveeeeee. ♥
TSK, PEACHIE AND GAYGAY'D BETTER READ THIS. This blog post shall not be written in vain. Efforts will be appreciated! :D
Thursday, May 03, 2007
7:24 PMCan't believe it.
Moodswinggggg! Sucks.
What happened.. ]:
7:01 PM
I did something baaaaaad during recess today. ;P & the aftermath of that was interesting, but I didn't get to see. ]: Daaaaamn! Wasted. Huihui, be careful ~
Bus trip rocked, because we talked a lot of nonsense and crap and I showed huihui the gay world hotel. :D Went back to school, but then couldn't find mingming, so we went to 202 for lunch because we were super hungry after watching all the food on the bus.
Ate, then mingming called back, then he came to look for us then we went to school to look for jan then saw mdm tong together. Went to mac's after that, then we talked nonsense agaaaaaain. Bwahahaha, super funny la, jan and mingming. xD
Then after that, home.
Yeah, sounds boring, but heck laaaaaa. I know I'm happaye. :]
I love you! ♥
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
5:00 PM| What You Really Think Of Your Friends |
 You truly love GAYGAY. You consider Val your true friend. You know that Loo is always thinking of you. You'll remember Mingming for the rest of your life. You secretly think Huihui is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times. You secretly think that Jan is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker. You secretly think that Calvin is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Calvin changes lovers faster than underwear. You secretly think Popo is shy and nonconfrontational. And that Popo has a hidden internet romance. |
Haha, out of nine, I think only four are true. Tsk, fafa's my soulmate eh! BWAHAHAHHAHA.
| You Are 49% Jealous |
 |
| Never Date a Capricorn |
 Instead try dating: Aquarius, Gemini, Leo, or Virgo |
| You Are a Soft Kisser |
 You give soft, sweet, and soulful kisses. And the key is, you only give kisses to someone incredibly special Because you don't just go around kissing anyone |
Tsk, huihui! Only to someone incredibly special. xD
| You Are 61% Ready for Marriage |
 |
Haha, okay then. Shall go find something else to do yo. Goodbye!
4:02 PM
I am home early today, and am currently busy slurping my maggie mee. xD
Chinese lessons officially rock because of my boy. :] We were playing under the desk todaaaaaay. Double period yo! :] Chem class together next year, and we'll play during every lesson, alright? ^^ Lessons were yet again mundane.
Went to look for mdm tong after school, then sent huihui home. Hurhur, he's super cute la. All his adorable facial expressions and the way he tries to dodge the oncoming people walking into him. Aww, bestbestbestest boyfriend ever. Love my boy superduper muchhhhh. <3
Home after that cos there's nothing to do. Bus ride with boyfriend tomorrow! :D YAYE.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
9:44 PMDon't you feel intimidated when you realised you've found the one?
Bbq was cancelled because andra was running a fever, so I went to study with huihui, jan, mingming, faris and charlynn instead. Was supposed to go to amk library to mug, but it was closed, so we changed venue to mac's. Did some work, but I gave up studying after the break, because I really can't concentrate.
Went out to swingggggg! :D Huihui came along after a while, and my boy can't swing for nuts. xD Faris & charlynn came, and all of us swingswing, but upon landing on the ground, I get all dizzy which sucks. Went back to mac's then we got chased out after a while.
Decided to go to kfc instead, then on the way, huihui told me that his dad was there, and I was like 0.0 and you didn't tell me?! Haha, he said he's dad would be going to kfc later, so I kept looking at the entrance when we reached kfc.
Left for amk hub with huihui, jan and charlynn. Was walking super slowly, while charlynn and jan were walking super fast all the way in front. So we had our brief er ren shi jie. xD Walked around and talked. Then 88, then dinner with family at toa payoh - pastamania. :]
After which, mummy bought my hair serum for meeeeee. WOOO, super happy. xD My hair's gonna be straight and there won't be any frizz! I love mummy<3 Home-d, and she trimmed my hair for me. Not much diff, except that it's a little thinner and my fringe's a lil' screwed. But hey, I guess it's alright. :]
If you were to ask now, I'd say I do. <3