Monday, December 18, 2006
6:43 PM
Here to give a quick update and to upload photos.
That is, if the internet actually works.
It's been opposing against me the whole morning, so I gave up updating until now.
I watched eragon yesterday, and I think it's super nice.
I don't mind watching it again and again. (:
Aaaaand, peachie just hung up on me not long ago, and it happens that I'm not the only one letting my thoughts run wild this holiday. This holiday really gets the better of me, making me older in the mind department. Like, am I not old enough already?! I've been thinking about getting married, getting pregnant, giving birth, life after getting married, raising up my children, and even death. It's scaring the hell out of me.
I don't think I'm the one to settle down with children and all, and what scares me most is the process of giving birth. Imagine your vagina stretching, enlarging and when the baby comes out, it will get all wrinkly because it doesn't contract fast enough. I can even visualise the whole process, it's as if I've seen it all, when actually I haven't.
There's also the life you have to lead after having a family. My parents' life revolves around work and spending time with us, I'm thinking if I don't get married, and don't have children, what kind of life I will have. I know there will be backstabbing while working, because I've worked before, and heard my parents talking about it. But if that's so, how can you find true friends and even if you do, what if they aren't afraid of settling down and giving birth? Who will be able to spend time with me then?
When I grow old, there wouldn't be children to entertain me, solely because I don't have the courage to give birth to one. I'll then slowly die of loneliness... Then comes the issue of death. What will happen after I die? What will be the cause of my death? Ever since the stomach virus episode, I've been wishing that I don't have to die that way because that time, I almost thought of killing myself there and then. Yes, I was in that much pain - enough to just give up my life.
See, told you my mind is growing damn old. Sigh, sorry. I don't think I'll be uploading the photos today. One day, I will.
Peachie, please take time off your busy schedule to go out with me. Please please.
♥