Saturday, October 21, 2006
12:34 PM
Don't you just love getting lost in a wonderful book about how a woman living in Manhattan messed her life up and ended up living with her ex beau in London? It makes you forget about everything happening in your life and sort of make you a better person. I don't know about you, but it sure looks like it to me. See, even my English is improving.
Life has been a wonderful bitch. With parents like mine, you see no end until you're in hell. I've been so tempted to jump from somewhere which would ensure my death. Then again, I haven't redeemed myself from hell, so I've decided to live a little longer just to make sure I go to heaven.
My parents get so angry with me over trifle things after I told them about my results. My sister has to add fuel to oil by saying mean things about me. And she's just turning five this december. I'm so damn pissed with this home. But where can I go? I don't have anyone now. My cousin isn't that responsible and reliable one that I can run to every time things seems bleak.
Parents are unreasonable. At least I got promoted to sec 2 express. Can't they at least encourage me and say try harder next time? I've changed a lot from last year. I'm not as rebellious, and I don't have an attitube problem. Heck, they insists that I do.
I'm never good enough for them, and I never would. I see it in their eyes. They always want me to be better, perfect even. So that they can show me off to the world... But I can never be that perfect little girl that they yearn for.
I can't even show them the basic respect now. I've lost it for them totally. I don't greet them when they come home, and that man acts as if I'm not there either. They go on and on about that ass of the sister of mine. Damn, makes me sick to the core. What can I do? I'm just not what they want.
God, please be kind to me and let me be born into a nicer family my next life. Or simply don't give me another chance to live again.
P.S: I'm appearing offline for god knows what reason. I'm losing myself inch by inch.