Beautiful Illusions

2007-06-06T15:18:00.000+08:00

I HAVE MOVED

Please read the post dated 6th of june 2007.

Thank you, and relink.

2007-05-29T20:25:00.000+08:00

I've since moved on.
Ask me where I've moved to, and I might tell. :]

2007-05-29T14:26:00.000+08:00

Oh, I just created a new skin. & I think it's niceeeeeeeee. Facing some html problems, in which I hope will be solved soooooooooon. Damn, maybe I should move. Bwahaha, goodbye, earthlings!

I'm an alien, invading earth. Now, who was tricked into thinking I'm actually human? ;]

2007-05-29T11:21:00.000+08:00

I have thought about it, I shall just stay here, because moving away would be too much of a fuss. Like moving house, you have to move your furniture here and there right? Yeap, too much trouble. Shall stay here, where all the past memories are - good or bad. :]

Some times I wish you had more time for me, but I'll understand, that your life doesn't revolve around me and you have other things to do. Some times I wish you were a little less reluctant, to meet my friends/cousins, but I'll understand that it's just one of the little things you can't do for me. I'll do my best to keep out negative thoughts, to cherish you, to hold you above all the other things. On the way, I'll learn tolerance, patience, how to cherish, how to keep believing in things I believe in no matter what people say & how to love. These past two months, you've shown me things I never thought was possible, you brought me to greater heights. Thank you.

Third month soon. :D

JAN&MING, JIA YOU! Have faith in your love and believe in yourselves and each other. You'll pull through for sure, ask yourselves how you managed to hold on for those past 11 months, and you'll find the strength to go on. 1 year isn't an easy feat, don't give up!
Jan, I'll be here for you!

2007-05-28T19:43:00.000+08:00

Today is a happaye day :D

Morning woke up to a house full of screams and shouts -.- zzz, cousins came over then plus grandma around, chaos! So ended up playing cake mania instead. BWAHAHAHAHHA, I'M TEH PRO YO! LOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I wanna go over to your place! Then we'll spend the whole day playing cake mania. HAH. :D

Then lemon darling came online. Was supposed to go to the library to study, but then he's at the lan shop with his friendsssss, so I got ready, then took 130 to thomson to look for him. Eh, I realised that actually I'm not lu chi! I got very good direction sense, because I walk walk walk, and I actually found the place even though someone gave me wrong instruction as to where to go.

:D Watched them play for a while, then we went to take bus, supposedly to library, but then took 855 to vivocity instead. HEEEEEEEEEE. LONG BUS RIDE! :D Rocks okaaaaaaaaaay. Someone kept saying train, when he meant bus. HAH! Very retarded laaaaaa. xP

We walked around vivo aimlessly, then we saw a lot of cuuuuuuuuute puppies at pet safari! I'm gonna get a dog, and he's gonna get a cat next time when we have our own place. :D Then our cat and dog will live in harmony, or else my dog's gonna pwn his cat. HAHAHAHAHA! ;D

No photos today, because it's just walking around and talking. :] Yaye, so happaye! Then took 145 back to toa payoh, then we saw this.. old man and woman, then I think they're having an affair or something la, because they are not those lovingloving kind, it's like more of lust kind of thinggggg. So yeap!

Super eeeew okay! Public place, that woman had to talk so super loudly and attract attention, and she had to lean over towards that man. I mean, old already.. please don't do that in public la. Want to do, also don't speak so loud riiiiiight. Then that man leaned over to kiss her and all. 0.0

Everyone on the bus was looking at them with the irritated look on their face la. x/ Long bus ride from vivo to toa payoh, boyfriend sent me there, then went back. Heeeeeee, kiss on the right eye. :] Never aim properly. ;P

Then saw michelle while waiting for the bus, then this malay boy came and cut the queue and stood right in front of me, and copied my every move. Very irritated la, then michelle kept laughing and laughing. Stewpit, then I started laughing also. So it's like the whole time, two of us were laughing like mad and everyove kept throwing glances at us.

Then we got on the bus, that boy sat behind me, then kept talking a lot of nonsense, then he actually knew my name! But then I don't remember him at all leh.. =/ He sort of like entertained us throughout the whole journey till I alighted la. We kept laughing like cowssssss. MICHELLE, YOUR FAULT!

Before alighting, wished michelle good luck because that guy might just follow her home. Bwahahaha, cos she kept saying, "yi ding gen ni hui jia de". But then he didn't, so.. MUAHAHAHAHA. FOLLOW MICHELLE HOME LA BOYYYYYYY. xD

Okay, shall end my post here. :]
I love lemonnnnn!

Replies to tags.
junwen ; :D thanksthanks, jun!
jan ; haha, bananas rockssssssss! smells wonderful yo!
loo ; loo, i love you laaaaaaaa. :D bestbest!
shuying ; haha, thanks for tagging :]
amanda ; thank you. i'll try. :]
lemon/yfdarling/boyfriend ; :D smilesmile for you. heeeeeeeee.
pris ; haha, yeap! shall link you up when i have the time too. :]
jan ; aye, hope so la. but relationship kinda thing is easier to sort out i think..
shermin&cheryl ; i wish things didn't get so bad, but it did.. i don't want it to end like that too, but i guess it's a little too late now..

2007-05-26T13:38:00.000+08:00

I am back again, because they are out, and they haven't taken action towards lappie or socks or choconut yet.

Outing yesterday with mily was goooooooood. Really talked, and really felt much much better. So we walked around bugis, then to marina square where I bought this sweater at fox, just to make myself feel better. It's all part of annabelle's retail therapy where you feel the heart burn later.

Then we went back to bugis again, just to dine at fish and co where we shared the seafood platter, which saw me slurging over 40 bucks in less than 6 hours. Bwahahaha, I really should go hide under my sink and cry now.

Later at night, some crazy thing possessed that woman and she started screaming and shouting at me about ptc, about what she's going to say to my teacher yaddah blah, when the teacher's supposed to do the talking. -.- Was talking to laopo on the phone, and I was feeling very miserable, so obviously I would want to talk on the phone and she shouted at me saying that I should put down the phone to talk to her when the fact is that she's the only one doing the shouting, I don't really have the chance to talk back, because she'd accuse me of being rude and insensible when she's shouting questions at me, obviously I'd have to answer, no?

Parents have to be the dumbest people on earth, and laopo's right, they should take a walk in our shoes for a month, and they'd know what it's like. I'd be very happy being a parent, coming home and venting anger on them. Hah, I'd be laughing at them when they cry.

I was trying to reason with them, which was futile, because I was so pissed with myself and them that I was crying and words couldn't escape from my mouth.. Then boyfriend had to call. So of course, I couldn't say much and thank goodness choconut ran out of battery, else I'd die on the phone. Ended up sms-ing instead, and we sort of sort out our differences already, but I forsee a rocky journey ahead, hope we'll be able to pull through.

& you know what, I needed friends at time like that, and I lost my best. And nope, she wouldn't care about my survival. Doubt we'll ever look each other in the eye any more. Oh well, what can I do..

Alright then, I shall patiently wait for ♥ to come online, and I hope it's going to be very soon.

Yeap, who wants to be my monkey friend?

2007-05-26T09:25:00.000+08:00

PTC sucked. I got bombarded about my attitude and sitting posture(?!). Although I think mrs seah revealed more things about me, she has a better way of saying things la. Then that stewpit nantha keep saying nonsense. Hello, I got attitude, you got it worse than me yo.

Then after that jiu kenna nagged and scolded and shouted at. Fuck, I don't even want to listen any more okay. Want to throw away my colour socks, fine. Then don't know how that stewpit woman link to contact lens, say don't want to buy for me any more. -.-

So die die have to work during holidays, or else I'll die. Maaaaaaaan, I hate parents and teachers. So people, you won't be seeing me online, maybe only on rare occassions. They are going to take away my laptop and maybe my phone.

I hate everything that's happening now la, please. This shall remain dead for a very long time. I have to freedom or anything already. Damn it. They are home already.

Sucks la please. So fucking pissed and disappointed with my parents whom I assumed understood me beyond anything/anyone. Thought I could always confine in them, but turned out I'm wrong. ]:

Thank you laopo for everything, for talking to me and telling me you'll never leave me like the rest did, thanks fartsie for that message, needed it pretty much. Thank you darling for not letting it go. Thanks to all who cared.

2007-05-25T13:39:00.000+08:00

Because now I'm hurting so badly, trying to swallow the tears, I love you still, but I have to let you go. So different, yet we've stayed together for over two months. I think it's time our differences take a toll on us.

It hurts.

2007-05-25T09:00:00.000+08:00

annabelle! [: 170307 says: bwaahahahahahaa
annabelle! [: 170307 says: hellohello
*[[ Jun Cheng]]* I WISHED U WOUDNT EVEN FUKING EXIST,EVEN IF U DO I WISHED I NV KNOWN U says: hi
*[[ Jun Cheng]]* I WISHED U WOUDNT EVEN FUKING EXIST,EVEN IF U DO I WISHED I NV KNOWN U says: lol
annabelle! [: 170307 says:today is a braaaaaaand new day
sian la MYE sucked says: ???
annabelle! [: 170307 says:things will all be fineeeeeeee
sian la MYE sucked says: u siao izzir?
annabelle! [: 170307 says: [: yaye, be happy ahhhhh

Okay ah, that's what you've said yourself. So please mean it and be happaye. Why does it all hurt so bad when it isn't something big from the start? Our hearts are making things complicated, hurting itselves in the process. Why make something so simple so complicated? Happy jiu hao laaaaaa. Right?

Sigh, too little too late. We can't even bother to reassure each other about our fading friendship now, no more "we will be alright soon", because we all know our efforts are futile, both our hearts are shutting each other out, because of the pain we've inflicted on each other, one way or another without meaning it.

I have so many things at hand, and I have absolutely no idea why. Maybe it's just me, always making a big deal out of everything. Gah, I don't know, I think I live in a way that life is a fairy tale and everything's gotta go according to planned, even though I love surprises.

I am still so weak, despite all the past experiences. I still have to cry over the phone with laopo yesterday, he had to put up with all my sobbing and kept saying, "don't cry, it'll be alright." Why isn't that person you? I felt so bad, and our conversation got cut halfway through, and I thought maybe that's a sign for me to go to bed and rest my battered self.

It's a brand new day today, and I think I've started it well, by encouraging myself, and talking about how I feel. I should feel better now. :]

Deborah, yes that person is you. I hope you don't feel offended by what I've said, but instead take to heart and think about it. Then tell me, will our friendship turn to dust. It's like I have a power of predicting the future or something. I'll remember you. Such an apt song. I'll remember you, yes. No matter how it turns out, you've been my best, I've loved you, but if it's not going to work out, we shall leave it behind and stop hurting ourselves, and each other.

& when you love a person, you don't have to keep them by your side.
Instead, let them be happy with someone else, if you can't bring them happiness yourself.

Wo hui xue zhe fang qi ni, shi ying wei wo tai ai ni.

Wo hen tao yan bei ju jue de gan jue, ni que ju jue le wo.
I know I really should understand and not force you to go out with people you don't know.
But I really didn't want to understand, I didn't want to care. Yesterday I just wanted to make myself happy. Yesterday I was selfish. But today I'm still selfish, I don't care if you like it or not, I just really want to spend time with you. But you're also selfish, you don't want to make me happy. You wouldn't even give me a call after going offline. You don't care.

Okay, happy ah, dickhole with honey-glazed legs. :D

2007-05-24T21:59:00.000+08:00

Third post for today, and I'm really really tired, and wanna get away to some where nice, where you meet nice people speaking foreign languages, smiling at you, hoping you'll understand that you're hogging their seats.

You just never appreciate the people that's around you. Always running from one person to the other, you don't cherish at all.
If you get what I mean, you won't ever know it's you, because I shall not let known who's you until I feel like announcing you to the world. You.

My brain feels so dry and it's gonna shut down automatically soooooooon. Oh man, so tired.

Very disappointed with you la, never thought of you this way. Why, I didn't want to bring you out to flaunt to the world, I just wanted to spend more time with you, that's all. Fine, whatever. I feel so irritated with you, and very pissed at myself for even asking you out. Dickhole, I hate being rejected, though I keep getting rejections from people this month. Curse you, may. I hate may. I hate things that sounds like may. Do note that this you has nothing to do with you on top.

You may think I'm not making sense, but I know I'm making perfect sense to myself, and I think my brain works wonders. I love my eyes and hair that God gave me. That's the only things I love about myself, oh and my wonderful brain. I love being random like that. I love getting my hair messed up by val, loo and celine and look like a lunatic on the run, because it makes people laugh, and I love their smiles.

I want to really get a new url and blogskin soon. Yeah, I wanna have my freedom of speech. But I don't like lj. =/

Mummy really talked sense into my last night. She talked to me about my results and all without once reprimanding me, but just asking if I want tuition, and telling me about all the possible consequences of my laziness. I am going to reject the offer if I ever get the job as a waitress there, because I won't have time to study. I'm going to work very hard and not make mummy disappointed again. I will look out for flyer jobs in the mean time, and I'll do my very best to study.

Yeap, I love mummy. & she said, "true friends are those that are there for you when you're in need, not those that needs constant attention and need to talk to you everyday on msn. You're just wasting your time. Those that you talk to on msn are usually those that touches your life, and goes as sudden as they appeared."

Makes so much sense.

Fine la, fine. Go jump around boats, you'll finally land in the sea and drown. Much as I hate it, I'll be there laughing at you because of your tardiness at understanding and your stupidity, much as I loved you.

Okay la, go break a leg tomorrow or something. Wo hen lei, I don't wanna bother about anything already. I don't want boyfriends any more for the moment. It's such a task to think of them everyday, what they're doing, who they're with, and think of stewpit reasons for their actions just to make myself happier.

I want to be my honey-glazed ham/happaye dickhole/yellow banana.

So tired now. On the phone with laopo, enjoying the silence and the comforting sound of his breath. I'm very tired.

2007-05-24T21:10:00.000+08:00

Oh man, cheer up bellebelle!
Bugis with milyyyyyyyyyyy.

Aye, anything + whatever la.
My eyes hurrrrrrts. ]:

He don't want to bother about me already la.
Whatever la.

I feel like sleeping and irritating popo and dinooooooo. :]
Fafa's gonna buy me chocolates on the first day of schoooooooool.
Yaye, chocolates! Fafa's teh beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeest. :D

Jia you, happy yi dian!

2007-05-24T20:36:00.000+08:00

I'm a happeeeeeeee dickhole todayyyyyyyy!

Chinese lesson! :] SPCA with darling one dayyyyyy, because we have to complete our project. :D Bwahahahaha, so happaye! ^^ Popo kept saying that my legs reminds him of honey-glazed ham, and it makes him hungry. Oh man! What nonsense.

Not happaye already. Because stewpit boyfriend don't want to go out with me tomorrow. Dickhole la. So spoil mood. Want to continue happily talking about today also cannot. ]:

So to conclude my day.. was really really happy with my hair cut and treatment and with my dear kar chng. Yes, me love my hair now, though mummy says there's no big diff, but it's layered nowwwwww. & it smells so niceeeeeeeee. & you can't find damaged hair. BEST MANNNNN.

Okay la, don't wanna write already. Very upset.

2007-05-23T21:27:00.000+08:00

My favourite.

Misunderstood - if the world's gonna take sides, I'm gonna be left standing alone.

Maybe people only see your efforts but I do put in effort too, though I don't really show. I don't go running around shouting, "I love you gaygay." But yes, I do care and you still matter in my heart.

This morning you said hi to me, I was sort of cold, because I wasn't feeling very wonderful, I've been able to hide my true feelings from the world, but when it comes to you, everything shows, the mask falls off. I'm sorry, I can't help it.

& imagine my heart being squeezed so hard when we're talking, and you constantly talk about something/someone else, like I don't really matter. & today during mother tongue lesson, it's like I'm invisible, not there at all. I didn't dare look at you, though my heart's hurting so bad and I really wanna say, "am I really that insignificant in your heart?" But I didn't, because I didn't want to cry today.

& to jan and ming, please don't see things one-sided, because it hurts people's feelings. Especially ming. You don't know the whole story, you don't see my tears or my sweat because I don't really talk about it with you.

You're tired, so am I. I wish things weren't the way it is, so many times. I pray to God every night to bless this friendship, to make things right, to let it last again. But He didn't, and everything happens for a reason..

I really don't know now, so lost and down. I promised not to be emo, and I'm not. Just speaking from my heart. Yes, from deep down my heart..

2007-05-23T18:48:00.000+08:00

Late night conversations with laopo's the best. It's been so long since we've last talked, and I guess we both miss each other's voices over the phone at night. :] He made me realised how much I've changed and all, and he keeps saying please go back to the past, when I'm still single and all cos he doesn't see me much now. I miss my old self too, some how..

Made plans to meet him today to go to school together, so I woke up at 5.40, then got ready, and it was too late to walk out to take 130, so I just waited for 139 downstairs and dropped at balestier to wait for 130.. Waited for a very long time before two buses turned out from bhps, then I thought one of them must be 130, so I stood up to flag it, then who knows! 139 in front and 145 at the back. -.-

I was too embarrassed to sit down again, so I just boarded 145 to go to toa payoh because 139 was crowded. Then took mrt to amk. Ohmaaaaaan. I'm so retarded laaaaa. -.- But okay la, reached there, walked around.. Then called laopo to ask him where to meet and all that and realised I was quite lost though I just walked away from the mrt station for a while. Then panicked and kept asking him not to put down the phone cos I was afraid. Haha! xD

In the end we still met up and we walked to school. :D He kept saying that we're gonna be late and all that la, so stewpit. In the end we reached school at 7.10. HAH! Keithy choi's still not in class yet lorh.

Yeah, then stewpit popo's finally baaaaaack from his chalet. Slacker ponned school yesterday to go to chalet to play la! Eeyerh! Don't like popo la, never bring me along. Heeeeeeeee.

Was reeeeeeeally pissed during mother tongue cos jan dao-ed me, derrick koh like bu shuang me, and deborah was a disappointment. She asked EVERYONE to have dinner with her except for me when I was sitting right beside her. Dickhole la, very very upset and disappointed and all.. ]:

History lesson was gooooood. Irritated mr goh, then kept talking to popo, fafa and stewpit jhmage. xD Then they saw my neoprints and kept giving stewpit comments like, "eh, last time you cuter leh. Why now like that.. Aiyoh, not that you're ugly or what, but not chio already la. Blahblahblah.." Hurt feelings laaaaaaa. >< Rawr, then they kept saying that siying's chio. HAH! :D Recess was crap session with popo also. Hanwee likes to pat my head, and I like getting my head patted. :D HEEEEE. So happaye yo. Then darlinggg got her breast hit by meeee. xD Veh funny la. I love darlinggg! <3 & rachel's so nice, she lent me money to go for my hair treatment supposedly. Awwwwww. I love twoTHREEEEEEEE!

Then lessons were blahblahblahhhhh. Serene sms me to go cut hair with herrrrr. :D HEEE, I love my cousin for once because I've been begging her to go with me. Then in the end had to cancel the date because jan asked me to go to darling's house to talk. =/

But serene tan's the best la. Told her I couldn't make it today, then she asked if I could make it tomorrow. T.T So gan donggggg. I LOVE YOUUU, KAR CHNG! ;P So after school, went to j8 to da bao food to darling's house.

I da bao-ed double cheese and mcspicy, in which I've finished both. :D Puberty stage, I'm growingggg, so I'm not fat. Say I'm not fat please, or else I'm gonna stab you in the tummy.

Reached darling's house, they chiong-ed ps2 after eating, then I went into the room to read comics and enjoy the air connnn. xD Haha! Then darling came in to join meeeeee. :]

Bwahahahahaha, darling hugged me from behind when I was reading the graphic bible! I saw God, and Adam & Eve! :D Haaaaaa. Man, so xing fu, with God and darling. :DDDDDD HUGHUG FROM BEHIND. :]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

& thank you shermin for everythinggggggg<3 Really needed you to talk to me and all. Man, I love you! :]

Then after that just lazed around and I fell asleep on darling's bed. HAH, then I kept saying, "wo yao shui jiao." When they woke me up and refused to leaveeeeeee. I wanna stay over laaaaaa. Heeeeeee. Then I kiap-ed darling. :D I love kiap-ing darling! So fun la. :]

Then his tuition teacher, who's also a pastor, came then he told him we're doing project, though I have NO IDEA why he has to report to him. I wouldn't bother explaining at all. Hah! We lazed around and slacked and gaygay left first, then winston, jan, mingming and I left. :]

Walked to 7-eleven to get my Whatever and Anything with jan, but then they don't have it and the indian lady didn't know what we were talking about, just like in the commercials. HAH! So we went to ntuc, but it was sold out. So never mind, I took 88 to toa payoh to look, and it was also sold out. Then went to cheers, and they didn't have it.

So I took 145 to shaw plaza to look, and I've finally found it! YAYE. Got the last can of Anything. :D I was so happaye, grinning from ear to ear yo. But anyways, Anything tastes like pepsi, so please don't try it if you don't like pepsi, but buy it if you like pepsi cos it's cheaper than pepsi. 70 cents per can.

Whatever's slightly better I guess, tastes like apple teaaaaa. Okay la, BUT veh sweet, both Whatever and Anything. Errrrh, so yaaaaaa. Please don't drink it at a daily basis.

OH YA, this boy was sitting behind me with his mummy and he was whining through the whole trip la. "Mummy, art lesson starts after school ends. You know?" xtimes3! & yaddah yaddah. Rawr, was quite irritated la, why cannot talk properly! He reminds me of andra, I think they should be put together to irritate the hell out of each other. :D

I turned back, and saw that he's actually very handsome. WHY TALK LIKE A SISSY, BOY! YOU HAVE A GRRRRREAT FUTURE AHEAD. BE A MAN YO. I guess I won't mind natnat looking like him, but don't act like him please. Aye, wasted.

Today's appreciate the scenery day. I took nice photos! :]
Shall upload later or something. I really like it a lot la. :]
Psychology or photography or mass comm or chemistry! Oh man, so many courses I wanna take, but I can only choose oneeeeee. Sheeesh.

Ogay, shall go finish my Whatever while waiting for darling to come online. :]
I hope gaygay's blog isn't talking about me, cos I thought we were alright already. =/
Oh well..

2007-05-22T17:50:00.000+08:00

]:

Because what I say, it goes two ways, to two people.

Look into your heart and ask yourself, would I like to let this person slip away?
If you really need this person to be your sunshine and show you the way through, but you have to betray your conscience, will you still do it?

To leave or to stay, to give or to take, to tell or to remain silent?
It's always been me to speak from my heart, but I can't take the risk, not any more. Because I'm not reckless and immature now. But when my heart can't hold it any longer, and my mind wants to speak.. Hell's gonna break loose.

& I ain't gonna like it.

2007-05-22T11:13:00.000+08:00

Blogging from my phone is school nowww. Got a feeling mummy will faint when she get my bill next month. Haha! :D

Job interview later and my pweetyyy shoes! YAYE, SO HAPPY OKAY! Okay, I shall get lost now. :] Talk about my day later.

I love my darling!

2007-05-21T19:41:00.000+08:00

School with gaygay tomorrow! :D
YAYE. SO EXCITED.

Daddy just called to report that he's safe and sound.

I don't know why I feel like crap now. =/
Weirdddd.

2007-05-21T18:52:00.000+08:00

I want a new beginning, & I think I need it pretty much now.
Shall move away to somewhere, after I've done up the skin, and thought of the url.
Hmmm, till then, I shall blog as and when I feel like.

& today's good. Thanks for everything, people. Really needed the encouragements, love and all. Blades of glory's good. Think everyone should go catch it, just to have a laugh or two. Yeah, having a companion's good.

I love you, darling. :]

2007-05-19T20:08:00.000+08:00

Okay, I am officially emo.
I can't stop crying.
I hate life now okay.

I have decided to go home straight after school everyday.
I have decided not to care about anything any more.
I don't give a fuck about yo fucking people.
My paper heart's torn, it can't be fixed again.

I don't give a fuck okay.
NO ONE FUCKING CARES ABOUT THIS FUCKING LONER.
NO ONE FUCKING WANNA TALK TO THIS LONER.
NO ONE FUCKING CARES ABOUT HOW THIS FUCKING LONER FEELS.
NO ONE GIVES A FUCK, NO ONE AT ALL.

I'm very tired, too tired to hold on okay.
I give up on life, I give up.
Not gonna try to do anything about it ever again.
I feel like jumping down the damn building.
Drown myself in the river.
Slash myself in the wrist.
BUT I'M A FUCKING COWARD.

FUCK LA. USELESS FUCKARD.
GO FUCKING GET STRUCK BY LIGHTNING LA.
WORLD WILL BE A FUCKING BETTER PLACE WITHOUT YOU.

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK. GO TO HELL AND BURN.

2007-05-19T12:35:00.000+08:00

Thank you jan for talking to me when I'm not feeling that good. :]

I appreciate it. <3

2007-05-19T12:16:00.000+08:00

Why can't life be like a drama serial?

In dramas, people always have happy endings some how. ]:
I feel so no life and no friends and no nothing now.
I feel sad, not emo.
I have no idea what's wrong with the world.

I've been telling myself, keep your chin high up dear.
Don't let things this trivial get to you, things will be fine soon.
Hey, y'know what? Things are taking a twist.
It's stabbing me hard in the throat now.

I need someone to bring me out again.
I need a miracle again.

I miss all the smiles and fun I've had.
I miss all the "I love you" I receive from friends.
But I don't get them now, nope.
Maybe because I've not done enough.
Enough is no longer sufficient, people will need more.

I don't know what to do already okay.
I wanna just get lost.
I wish I could be taken away now, right beside God.
I don't feel like holding on trying to be all sunshine-ish.

]:

2007-05-18T19:26:00.000+08:00

The cool grafitti kinda thing at the cage.

GAY WORLD HOTEL :D

At the cage..

Boyfriend's oversized shoes. ;D

His new soccer boots. Hah!

While at the bus stop..

GEYLANG, yet again. :D

Bus to go to the cageeee.

Photos in random order.

No idea why there's even school today, considering the fact that we're dismissed at 10. Went to darling's house after that. xD Bwahahahaha, looked around, then after that manymany people came, then we retreated to the room with jan. xD

Heeeeee. We rolled around with austin and pillows and bolsters and I made him scream like a gayyyyyyy. ;D Darling, you lost la, face it! Hahahaha! Aw man, can we do that like every two weeks? It's suuuuuuuper fun okay and I feel so happy & all. ;P

Went to novena to buy kyaw and darling's soccer boots, jan and I saw this pair of pretty sneakers over there! :D $59 only you know! Can buyyyyyyyy. Hahahaha! Me want that, plus the two pairs of nike shoes and a pair of adidas slippers.

Then mrt to kallang. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, felt very safe and secure because darling was supporting me all the way through. Wo hen xing fu, bu guo wo mei you peng you, wo hen no life. LOL. Lalala, I'm trying my best already yo!

Reached the cage, then just sat there with jan and we watched them play for two whole hours. 0.0 Haha, then kfc, then 11, then 13. Bubble tea with darling, and we talked on the wayyyyyy. He's the only one that I really talk to now. ]: NO LIFE.

Rawr, what happened to meeeeeeeeeeee? ]: OH NO! I just remembered I forgot to pray before dinner just now. ]: This is so baaaaaaaaad.

Okay la, I should end now and go get a life. Goodbye.

I'll be holding on to you, for a very long while.

Gaygay, I really miss us.

2007-05-17T22:18:00.000+08:00

I'm not sure of how I'm feeling now, but I have to keep the faith and all.

I believe in having just one best friend instead of many other friends, because they never speak to your heart, but that one person does, and hits the target. That person could be you, deborah tan wei xian aka emokid who's "emotional and have a very low self esteem, often think too much when you've got nothing to do, and have a hunger for freedom and understanding"

Next time when I ask for something, I shall not be stewpit and naive and say that I just need this one thing to make me feel happy again, because it's all bull. When you have friends, you asked for someone to love, and to be loved.

But when you're in a wonderful relationship, you'd lose a beautiful friendship that you've once taken for granted, thinking that it'd never end and nothing will come in between. If you're doing it now, please stop it, don't take things for granted. Nothing's for sure, nothing's forever.

Why is striking a balance so difficult? Tell me now, just what does it mean to be a teenager? Raging hormones, being in countless relationship that fails, cry, friends pick you up, happy, another relationship, happy, lose friends, cry? Aw man, then being a teenager's really taking a toll on me.

I wouldn't walk away, if you want me to stay.
I wouldn't shrug you off, if you need a shoulder.
I wouldn't cover my ears, if you need a listener.
I would be your best, if you'd open your heart to receive me.

Dear Lord, I need the strength to go on now. With all the obstacles I'm facing, that's trying to trip me. I know You can't bear to see me fall, please hold out Your arms to me and let me feel Your presence.
Amen.

2007-05-17T18:28:00.000+08:00

HAPPY TWO MONTHS TO US!
THANKS FOR OCTIE! :D
Sorry for not getting you anything..
I love you. :]
Forever and ever, eternityyyyyy!

Bwahahaha, results were like shit. Blahblahblah, whateverrrrr.
Since darling's gonna write a short post, I shall do so too.
:]

Darling, thanks for the beautiful memories for the past two months, there ain't no one like you. Please continue to put up with me and make me the happiest baby on earth. :D

austin&octie!
sign language!

2007-05-16T19:16:00.000+08:00

Dear God,

Please shower Your love upon cashmere and make things easier for him. Please let his mum understand that he should not be taken for granted and should be loved and cherished instead. Please give him what he deserve, surely You can't bear to see him suffer even for a day. Lord, please let him see that bad patches in life wouldn't last forever. Lord, please make him happy again.

]:
Darling, I'm praying for you, in a way that I'd talk to a friend. I remember what you've taught me. Please cheer up, and be happy again. I love you. ♥

2007-05-16T15:01:00.001+08:00

From nong nong time ago.

SUSHI TREAT FROM DARLING.

Meeting with ade & naipeng. :D

Sexy's shoes.

:D MY NAME'S ON THE MENU YO!

THE FIVEEEEEEEE. :]

YESTERDAYYYYYYY. :D DARLING LOOKS VERY MAN IN THIS.
NO SARCASM.

Eh, that was out of boredom. :P HAHA, ANGEL & DEVIL YO.

VAL JUST CALLED ME. HOLY BALOONEYYYY.

I GOT 42/60 FOR SCIENCE. MCQ 22/30 & 20/30 FOR SECTION B. What the hell, the paper was so difficult I tell you, the 22 marks I've got was solely based on tyco-ness. Moral of my story is to pray to God for wisdom, and you'll be able to do it. THANK GOD! I feel like crying now. God's so kind to meeeeeeee. T.T

Aw man, I hope I did well for english, asking cheryl now.. Hope she'll reply sooooooon. Man, I think not cursing helps y'know! But now my vocabulary will be very limited. Like now I keep saying man. -.- BUT IT'S ALRIGHT. I LOVE GOD. :D

KEITHY CHOI OWES ME CHOCOLATE NOWWWWWWWW. :D HEH, KEITH, BET THAT WAS UNEXPECTED! KISS MY ARSEEEEEEEEE. ;D BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Okay, don't let it get to your head, or else when I get back the rest of my papers I'd die of a broken heart.

& as if me not going to school has anything to do with any teachers. Mrs nair asked val why I didn't go to school, saying that I should know that they're going through the papers and I expect people to do corrections for me. Chey, your problem meh. Cheryl didn't complain, so that means you don't have the rights to.

HEEEEEHEEEEEE. I hope the game ends soon, and darling will go home early then come onlineeeeee. I wanna talk to him. :D

Cheryl replied! 36/50. Eh, Okay I guess? But that means there's no more A2 for me.. Aw, okay. Anythingggggg.
2/5's WINNING! :D 5-0 nowwwwww. DARLING SCORED 2 OF THE GOALS! YAYE, N FOR NATNAT-S! :D

Hokay, I told mummy about it and she was very very very shocked, cos she expected me to do very badly cos she sees me sitting in front of the laptop everyday and never once did she see me touching my book. HAHA, she's very cute. She said, "really? So next time when there's exams I just put you in front of the laptop can already la? Then must tell me earlier, don't buy books, then can save money what."

HAHA, WTH. I'll try to make her buy me a new geog textbook after getting back all my results. xD That kuku that stole my book better return it to meeeeeeee. Then I'll have extra cashhhh. ;D

Bwahahahaha, oooogie. Shall go dig for treasure in the fridge and cupboards now. :D
Goodbye, y'all!

2007-05-16T11:39:00.000+08:00

Hello, due to my laziness, I have decided to stay at home today instead of going to school though there's double chinese. Now I'm sort of regretting it, cos it's so boring at home and I can't see yellow fragrant darling.

Gaygay told me I got 72 for chinese.. ]: I didn't meet my target for myself, which is A1. Chinese was the subject that I had most confidence in, and I had to get an A2. Very upset about it..

Then valval called to tell me that I've got A1 for geog. 0.0 Any how do get A1, put in heart and soul get A2? Wth. -.- Not that I'm not happy or anything, but why like that! Sigh.. Valval's gonna tell me my science marks later. For science, I'm quite certain I wouldn't do well already, so must get ready for the worse. Please just don't let me score lower than C6. That's all I ask for.

Yeah, I hope I wouldn't get a big fat f for maths. ]: So upset okaaaaaaay. I hate failing my science and maths, because it's important. AYE, CRAPPPPPPP. & I WANT AN A2 FOR ENGLISH, since chinese got only A2.

I wanna die, I wanna just die now. T.T

Any ways, added things to my banana blog. :D Heeeeeheeeee, so cute right! Especially the monkey and dancing banana! Teeeeheeeee, veh adorable. But my favourite's the yellow banana darling & the yellow banana baby. Why? Because it means something to the both of us, it has its significance. :D

Tomorrow's 17th again! But then I don't know what to do for him already. So darling, we shall just treat it as a normal day okay? Or else I'm going to bang wall and squash my teeny weeny brains. WHY YOU LIKE THAT AH, BELLEBELLE. So no brains, cannot even think what to do for the love of your life.

Aye, so sad. I hope they win their game later, or else darling's gonna be very upset again.

Okay, I shall go shower, then lunch, then upload photos. I wanna go for a haircut! But stewpit serene tan si ying didn't reply my message. Rawr, HAIRCUT!

2007-05-15T20:11:00.000+08:00

I've got the world's best boyfriend ever, even though he makes me mad at times, he's darn sweet and understanding and everything. Thank you for your love, your time, your patience, your presence, your everything. I promise I'll cherish and will try my best not to let your heart ache, not even a single bit. ♥

Wild hogs, swensens, walking around, arcade, train rides, his house, home. :D

Summed up.
Haha, I love you, yellow fragrant darling. :]

2007-05-14T21:55:00.000+08:00

Okay, I'm in the mood now.

Maths paper sucked, I'm ready to fail my maths and science and d&t again. Hur, I'm quite upset, but then.. don't think I'm very bothered. Hoho, I'm to stop swearing, but if you read my blog often enough, you'll know what I want to say. Suck something. Yeah.

Street soccer court again after maths paper. I scored my first goal my any how kicking yo! :D Haha, everyone was about as shocked as I am I guess. Street soccer is cool and it's the love! Cos I can scream and shout and irritate everyone by marking, today my victim was zhensiang. WAHAHAHAHA. xD

But because it's too much for me to take, the tears just fell by itself again. I can't stop it in time, I failed. I give up okay, I give up on everything we've shared. I'm not going to hold on to false hopes that I've given myself that you're going to love me as much as you did. I tried so hard to hold on to something which was as difficult to grasp onto as air. I can't stop you from making new friends or drifting away from me, I can't expect you to treat me as your one and only. Things feels so vague now, I'm lost now, hard as I might to try to be normal - I just can't help myself. It's not moodswing, I know. It's been there, just not addressed. Now that you're gone, what am I supposed to do? I don't know, I really don't.

Cine with the usual four other people. Pastamania, followed by gawking of pretty shoes and tops and slippers and dresses yaddah yaddah, then jan went to pierce her cartilage again. Third time already yo.

Walked around the watched bridge to don'tknowwhere, which was a waste of money, considering the fact that it has a storyline which leads to no where, probably the enchanted forest, but the soundtracks were nice. My feet/toes kept cramping during the movie, and boyfriend had to bend here bend there for me. Bu hao yi si. LOL.

Walked out and realised I dropped choconut, then he ran all the way up again to get for me. :] Hurhur, thaaaaaaaanks. :D Maestro bistro for arctic 8 again. Talked about lame stuff and planned tomorrow's activities and all. Theeeeen, home.

Ah yesyes. What if, just what if.. oh no oh nooooooo. No one knows about this, not even boyfriend, or anyone. I hope I'll be able to keep this to myself before it gets out of hand, like turned into a blown up *****. Now it's just minor minor, please let me off and save me the sorrows and sorry-s and goodbye-s. ]:

I dislike myself la. What's wrong with you, annabelle tan xuan rong! What rights do you have to make people weep for you because of the little swaying of your heart. ]:

Please don't do this. Please, I'll get down on my knees. Don't do this to yourself, and them..

2007-05-14T18:57:00.000+08:00

I'll Remember You - No Secrets

It has been so long since we have talked
I hope that things are still the same
hoping they will never change
cause what we had can't be replaced
don't let our memories fade away
keep me in your heart for always

You made me believe
that I can do almost anything
stood right by me
through the tears through everything

I'll remember you,
and baby that's forever true
you're the one that I'll always miss
never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for you, no matter what you're goin' through
in my heart you'll always be, forever baby
I'll remember you

I promise you I won't forget the times we shared, the tears we cried
You'll always be the sun in my sky
It may be fate that brings us back to meet again someday
Even though we go separate ways

You made me believe
that I can do almost anything
You stood right by me
through the tears through everything

I'll remember you,
and baby that's forever true
you're the one that I'll always miss
never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for you, no matter what your goin' through
in my heart you'll always be, forever baby
I'll remember you

If the day should come when you need someone
(you know that i'll follow)
I will be there
Don't ever let there
be a doubt in your mind
'cause I'll remember you, you

I'll remember you,
and baby that's forever true
you're the one that I'll always miss
never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for you, no matter what your goin' through
in my heart you'll always be, forever baby
I'll remember you

Forever baby, I'll remember you

Please refer to other people's blog for my day today. Because I still don't feel like blogging.

2007-05-14T18:42:00.000+08:00

Don't feel like blogging now.
Maybe later, or tomorrow.
But I just have to write this.

HUR, KER.
-.-

2007-05-13T19:45:00.000+08:00

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL MOTHERS :]

My mum and aunt with roses. ;D

The noble mothers who went through labour to squeeze us out of their vaginas though the pain almost killed them.

Serene and I had the honour of cutting the cake because we bought it. :D

Biggest strawberry ever, and it's not sour. Heeeee.

I miss boyfriend a lot.
Shopping tomorrow. :]

Gaygay and peachie feels very distant. Maybe the bond's not really mended yet.. ]:

Darn. ]x

Job interview on tuesday. I need a job sooooooooon.

2007-05-12T22:02:00.000+08:00

:D I'm so happy now, why? Because boyfriend called without me asking and the call lasted for 48mins and 18secs without me noticing. Like wowwwwww. It felt as if it's only been like 10 mins okay. :]

But he refused to sing to me even after my incessant whining. ]:

He told me a corny and dirty joke. One day a rabbit carried a corn and jumped into the mud. The end. LOL? 0.0

& andra kept shouting then I think choconut's too powerful, he could hear her very clearly even though she's like 10metres away? Haha!

Today is love your boyfriend very much day. :]
I guess after quarrels and that incident which almost caused me to lose this sweetsweet boyfriend, I've learnt to cherish and love what I got and have faith. :D

I want gaygay to be happy. But I don't want gaygay to make new friends, because I feel as if she's drifting away now. x/ So selfish, but I can't help it la. When you have new friends, you tend to drift away a little, no?

Patricia tan drift to don't know where already. Zhao bu dao liao.. ]:

Aye, happyhappy!

2007-05-12T13:12:00.000+08:00

Bold whatever is true.

01. I have kissed someone of the same sex on the lips.
02. I see/saw a therapist.
03. I'm the youngest child.
04. I like sharks.
05. I did love my gauged earrings.
06. I wear black eyeliner every day.
07. I am extremely influenced by kindness.
08. I love to write, even though I think I suck at it.
09. I can't live without lipgloss.
10. I'm probably emotionally scarred.
11. I lived in Tahoe.
12. I spend money I don't have.
13. I'll be in college for over 4 years. I would like to get a high degree, so i plan on being in school for a while.
14. I love designer handbags.
15. I've had a concussion before.
16. I'm not good with confrontation. Unless standing up for something i believe in.
17. I loved the Backstreet Boys.
18. I have more than a couple of horrible memories.
19. I'm addicted to Degrassi.
20. I've tried writing poetry before but it sucked.
22. I'm not a fan of rap.
23. I love taking pictures.
24. I hate people who are fake. well hate is a strong word, more like i lose respect for people that are fake.
25. I can be mean when I want to.
26. When I allow myself to get close to people, I get very attached.
27. I am bisexual.
28. I have way too many pairs of shoes. you can NEVER have too many pairs of shoes
29. I was into Hot Wheels as a child.
30. I dress how I feel that day.
31. My room is painted a colour other than white.
32. I cry very easily. depends?
33. I'm always early.
34. I barely ever study for tests.
35. My birthday is my favourite holiday.
36. I have too many clothes for my closet/dresser.
37. I am a morning person.
38. I wish I was smarter.
39. I believe that it is wrong to be gay.
39 I want to shoot anyone who made 39 Bold.
40. I don't blame gay people for being gay.
41. No one really knows me. well a few people
42. I don't have many bad hair days.
43. I sometimes fight with my parents.
44. I am passionate about my interests.
45. I have had the chicken pox.
46. I'm a hopeless romantic.
47. I feel empty sometimes.
48. I am/was clinically depressed at a point in my life.
49. I am no longer depressed because of medication.
50. I am very outgoing. uh, okay i guess?
51. Christmas/Chaunaka is my favorite holiday.
52. I can be very insecure.
53. I don't notice it, but I'm told I'm very softspoken.
54. I hate ignorant people. Hell yeah.
55. I love the colour yellow. YELLOWBANANAS!
56. I love guys/girls that play the guitar.
57. I state the obvious. Constantly.
58. I'm a moody person.
59. I sometimes have a low self-confidence.
60. I've contemplated suicide. used to.
61. I hate cleaning my room.
62. I tend to get jealous.
63. I like to play video XBOX games.
64. I love John Mayer.
65. I get more upset when I see an animal hurt than a person.
66. I'm a vegetarian/vegan/don't eat meat.
67. I've had a crush on a teacher before.
68. I am too forgiving.
70. I have a good sense of direction.
71. I'm happy with my life most of the time. eh, okay?
72. I've played a musical instrument for more than 5 years.
73. I can function perfectly well without a girlfriend/boyfriend.
74. I love kisses on the ear.
75. I love the colour blue.
76. I don't sew.
77. I am not addicted to drugs.
78. I wear contacts.
79. I don't really care about politics.
80. I hate Bush, but I have reasons to justify it.
81. I don't take criticism well.
82. Conformity is stupid.
83. I love Colin Farrell.
84. Rocker/skate boys/chicks turn me on.
85. I love my family.
86. I don't mind getting shots.
87. I am a perfectionist when it comes to certain things. namely relationships.
88. I always wanted to learn to play the guitar/drums.
89. I can be too hard on myself.
90. I don't believe that premarital sex is wrong.
91. I don't like my nose.
92. I am very religious.
93. I still act like a little kid.
94. I am ridiculously indecisive.
95. I believe in a higher power or some form of an afterlife.
96. I love music.
97. I'm in love.
98. I have problems letting go of people.
99. Ashlee Simpson is awesome.
100. I don't really like ice cream.
101. If I can make you laugh, then im being myself.
102. I still love Hanson.
103. I'm really good at lying, and at keeping secrets.
104. I think the judgement of others is wrong, though i acknowledge that it occurs and everyone does it.
105. I love The Used.

2007-05-12T12:08:00.000+08:00

Hello, I'm going through the usual cycle on early weekend mornings. Wake up, watch tv, eat, watch tv, eat, watch tv, off tv, come up, turn on laptop, chat. & the person I'm chatting with now is none other than -drumroll-
LIMYONGSENGTHEBIGBULLYWHODOESN'TWANTTOBRINGMEOUT. Just because it's supposed to be a boys outing. ]: Eh, discrimination! Then now no one's talking to me because he went to change to go out.

Where is boyfriend? Church should've ended already whaaaaaat. Go date with his childhood playmates la, must be. Hur, never mind! I've got my own childhood playmates. xD

Uh, okay, I shall bum off now until something interesting or boring amuses me. I hope you know what I mean. Ah, my blabbering habit's returninggggggg. This is bad, veeeeeeery bad. SEE.

Anyways, I'm trying my best not to swear. :D No f words, no w words, no s words or d words.

"Ask and it will be given to you ; seek and you will find ; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives ; he who seeks finds ; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."
Matthew 7:7

GLORY TO GOD!

2007-05-11T22:05:00.000+08:00

因为现在站在世界高峰的关系觉得很开心，但也会担心，如果有一天就从哪里跌下去，我该怎么办呢？我想现在能做的是享受每一份每一秒，不去理会后果。
你不知道，那一秒我哭了。我知道这是真心真意，布设虚情假意。很想就牵着你的手一直走下去，永远都不松手，因为很害怕会失去。我是真地在恋爱，真得跟一个爱我的人恋爱。虽然不是初恋，却很有初恋的感觉。谢谢你所提供给我的无限的爱，我会更加珍惜的！

:] Please change to unicode to read.

Gaygay haven't been very happy these days. Please cheer up okay? I'm still not good with words, but I'd like you to know that I care. I love you, bestfriend.

2007-05-11T20:35:00.000+08:00

:D
Interesting dayyyyyyyy online. HAHA!

Stewpit limyongseng bullying me again. Like ade must say, although that'd be unfaithfulness to girlfriend.. BUT must be true to your heart! xD

SUMMER LOVE BY JT! HAHA, very gayyyyyyy.

Hao la, having mass in msn already. Why? Because my boyfriend's going crazy.

Goodbye! :D

2007-05-11T17:28:00.000+08:00

I've made it through 700 posts! :D

Maths & science killed okay. ]: I'm gonna fail even though I prayed for wisdom. Boooooohoooooo! I don't want okay! I wanna pass and do well to get into 3/2 next year!

Rawr, okay forget it. Sigh, today stomach cramped like mad. ]: Thanks for the chocolates, you. :]

After the papers, wanted to go home to rest, but ended up playing soccer with the boys instead. Was quite fun luh. ;D Talked and laughed and screamed and sent balls flying. Heh!

I love my boy. ♥

2007-05-10T16:04:00.000+08:00

I feel damn upset, I think slightly worse than how I felt just now writing my first post for today.

We've decided to give each other one last chance, but if it doesn't work out, we'll part but remain friends. All planned out, like it's going to happen. Though it's my idea, because it'd be the best for us, but I can't help hurting and thinking that that day will dawn upon us soon. ]:

What happened to going to the same class, going to SAJC, growing up, exchanging vows, settle down in a nice house and having natnat-s? Aw damn. This is only slightly better than a break up. This phase of being in a relationship sucks.

Stewpit.

Don't know why, but I keep feeling that I'm sharing boyfriend with someone else. ]: Namely someone whose name starts with an 's' and ends with an.. don't wanna say.

Feel like we're coming to an end soon. So sad..

2007-05-10T14:55:00.000+08:00

I didn't get my chocolates today, but he didn't die, I did.

一件很容易的事到了你的手上，不知如何就成了一件很困难与无理的要求。很想再一次用微笑带过，但我的心不知不觉地不肯再次受到创伤。我也累了。

Chinese brought enlightenment. The passage for compre really set me thinking, and I think I'll do well because I've answered all the questions with my heart, not that it actually matters.

Sorry, my heart can't receive any more disappointments. If you're hurting, I'm hurting a thousand times more. When I have to fake all the smiles and pretend it doesn't matter. Telling you how I feel but you end up saying something that makes me hurt more.

2007-05-09T21:18:00.000+08:00

:D

English and lit was craaaaap. There's nothing to write for summary okay. ]: Lit was because I didn't study much, but I borrowed loo's notes in the morning and read a little and it came out! Bwahahaha, I am super lucky!

Uh, something happened during the break after english paper, then after lit paper, we met and ignored each other. Went to 202, where me and jan just sat there talking. Library with gaygay, jan, mingming, winston, faris and cash after that.

On the way we talked about smoking, turned out that all of them had their virgin taste of cigerrates except for cash and I. Sigh, we are good children, not like the rest of them. ;D

Reached library, then yaddah, okay already. :] Was very very very hungry, so went to mac's with gaygay and and cash. Bwahahahahhahaha, double cheese yo! :D

We talked about manymany things that were very sick and funny. Iggy and natnat-s are going to be good friends, and iggy's gonna marry natalie! :D In any case, if gaygay gives birth to a girl, one of my three boys have to marry her. HAHAHAHAHAH. Planned out properly already ogay!

Home with cash, then he bullied me on the bus. Gen wo da xiao sheng! ]: Then still dare to say don't have. Mummy's right laaaaa. He'd better give me my chocolates by tomorrow, or he'll dieeeeeeeee.

Okay, chinese and d&t paper tomorrow, in which I have studied for none. :D
ALL THE BEST, & GOD BLESS!

P.S ; I don't like that person tagging this board! RAWR. I DON'T LIKE LA. STEWPIT BOY IS STEWPIT. WHY? BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU LA.

2007-05-08T21:29:00.000+08:00

WO HEN GAN DONG!
Fafa's daddy struck toto and gave him $300, so I asked him for chocolates, then he came online and told me that he'd try to get me rochers tomorrow. That's not really why I'm gan dong. I'm gan dong because I didn't tell him anything, but he knows that I like rochers!

-sobsob- Fafa, wo hen ai ni laaaaaa.

:D

Okay la, wo ye hen ai cashmere. Wei shen me? Ying wei ta song wo san duo mei gui, bu guo wo yao nian hen jiu cai na dao. Dan shi bu yao jing, wo hai shi hen ai ni! :D
-translation-
Okay la, I love cashmere very much too. Why? Because he gave me three stalks of roses, but I had to nag for a very long time before he finally got them for me. But it's alright, I love you still! :D

Oh anyways, my sister saw the roses, then she kept saying you're going to get married, you're in love with a boy, then proceed to singing happy birthday in which I presume she thought was the song that people play during weddings. -.-

I've successfully made keith promise to buy me chocolate if I get one A1. :D Yaye, my di di's nice la. Heeeeeeeeeeee. ^^ I told fafa, and he volunteered to buy for me if I do well also.

WO HEN KAI XIN LAAAAAAAAA :D

♥!

2007-05-08T18:31:00.000+08:00

CASHMERE HUI YI HONG GOT ME FLOWERS TODAY
BUT WHY AM I NOT VERY HAPPY
BECAUSE THEY WERE ON THE VERGE OF DYING AND HE SPIKED THEM. ]:
My poor roses..

Papers were dumb. Geog was all based on last minute studying, and history was pure crapping. -.- But I prayed to God before attempting history, and I think I helped a lot eh. Like suddenly I have a rush of inspiration for me to crap. Okay, this is random crap.

Went to watch them play soccer after the papers, then I went to pick up choconut after that.
:D I miss choconut soooooooooo much!

Went there and 1 hour 24mins and a hundred of different scent wisting past me later, I'm finally being served by a guy who keeps a straight face all the time even when he's laughing. How do I know that he's laughing, cos I can hear his hahahaha, but his face remains the same. -.-

It's so good to see choconut, but it looks as if it's been brutally molested by someone because there were fingerprints all over. Hello, I take so good care of choconut, but you just touch like nobody's business? ]: So sad okay!

Went home after that, ALONE. Hey, doing things alone ain't as bad as it was last time, though people still like to stare. I think when you're alone, people tend to pay more attention to you, thinking "what's this girl doing here?" and all that. Well, because that's what I do.

Okay la, talking to cashmere now. All the best for lit & english tomorrow! :D

2007-05-07T21:47:00.000+08:00

Hey yo, I am back! Why? Because I'm supposed to be checking if mummy has won the big sweep, and I'll get 10% of if she she does. But then never win laaaaa.

Haha, I called cashmere just now. I think I'm darn bad at phone conversations, but I like having them. Why? Because you get to hear the other party and feel their presence, some how? Bwahahahahaha, I am suuuuuper in love with yellow fragrant bananas!

Think I'm going to get the keychain from action city soon. Yay, I am going bananas for bananas yo! :D

Y'know, I never thought I'd be saying this, but heeeeeeey, I love you jinqiang for everything you've done for my silly boy. Not that kinda love love kind of love but those grateful kinda stuff y'know? Okay, you don't know. Why? Because I keep rumbling on and on. :D

Why? Because I'm really happy! Typing this this makes me excited like yay! Hahah, I sound like a kid! x] Why? Because I don't want to grow up! Why? Then I have an excuse to act like a baby and make sure cashmere gives way to me and I can hold on to one of his fingers and give him puppy look and say, "this is how babies hold hands." :D

Anyways, we have all graduated! No more meeting mdm tong! I am happy and sad at the same time, I think I like her eh! x/ Zomg, I'm maaaaad. She's very funny and nice some times leh.

Didn't get our spongebob boxers today, why? Because there's only one piece left. Shho saddx nehhx. LOL. Geog and history paper tomorrow! JIA YOU PEEEEEPOOOOO! Hur ~

♥ Why? Because yellow fragrant bananas are teh lurvvve!

2007-05-07T19:52:00.000+08:00

WE BROKE UP ALREADY.
WHY?
Because I want him to jio me, but he made me angry instead.

Rawr.

But studying at library was good. Why? Because we had fun.
Bras and panties eh, gaygay?
HAHA.

Shall not say much, because I love yellow fragrant bananas. Why? Because you can shove them up idiots asses.
If you're reading this, please note that I'm not self-centered.

But anyway, I think I'm going to call cashmere later.
Why not huihui? Because we've broke up and he has to work his way into my heart again.

Okay, you may think I'm childish, but it matters a lot to me.
How come? You'll know when it's your turn. :D

I'm very happy, why? Because I didn't know I could write so well.
HAH.

2007-05-06T19:48:00.000+08:00

Choconut's sent away for holiday for two days, and my replacement phone for that two days is n70. ]: Okay la, not that n70 is lousy, but I miss choconut super duper much please. Rawr.

I miss my silly boy even more. I hope he'll forgive me.. I have this urge to call him and talk to him, but.. I lost his number, and I don't have the balls to talk to his parents, or his stewpit obnoxious brother who's darn sarcastic on his tagboard and made me feel like rushing to his place to smack him left right center.

Okay la, I feel quite.. I don't know now cos tomorrow's the starting of mye and I still haven't studied and I have to worry about the missing 170307. T.T

If we were to end now..

Okay, I'm officially missing gaygay and our lame ass conversation. Shitzx. Why? Because I feel darn empty without the gay gaygay. Gaygay's not very gay now prolly because of stewpit mye. Gah, how? Suck my cock lorh. No cock how? Go suck those fragrant yellow bananas.

Shall go shower & all that now. Goodbye!

2007-05-06T12:29:00.000+08:00

Okay, I've forgotten to mention this.. Kokhow found me a job at united square! :D Well, not yet la. I have to go down for interview and all that first. So if you're interested in working during the holidays, let me know, then I'll try to help you ask if they are okay with hiring more than one person. :]

Okaaaaaay, mummy just called to ask me to walk out of home. Huihui, please don't be angry and forgive me la, okay? Or you want me to kneel down with a rose and say sorry?

Hao la, anything la.
Kxzxthkszbyexzxsxzz.

2007-05-06T11:22:00.000+08:00

I think I'm feeling better now. Going out with mummy later to service choconut, so I've got to make this quick.

Stayed up last night with the intention of studying, but ended up writing a letter to huihui to apologise, sort of. Then read my stewpit diary from primary school, and it was darn stewpit, really. I hope I won't be feeling the same way when I read my archive when I've left secondary school.

Thank you shermin for calling anyway, explaining to me and all that. Really appreciate it a lot. :]

Oh he just came online. He removed 170307 from his nick. Why? Probably because he wants to say goodbye then my letter can just go into the damn bin. Okay, I shall be calm, and go.. shower.

Yeah, goodbye.
I love you still. ♥

2007-05-05T17:31:00.000+08:00

Why? Because I don't see the point any more, and I sense that you're getting sick of letting me win. So now what? How I know, go search on the internet la.

Oh fuck, why am I so bleeding sarcastic now? How I know. I can't feel happy totally, like I'll be sarcastic, then a lil upset & all that. Shitz, am I even making sense now? Don't know la. Stewpit.

"I'm sorry you were unfortunate to get a boyfriend with minimum contactibility."
Oh how apt. Since I'm so sarcastic, thought I'd deal with sarcasm wonderfully. But maybe not. So you think you've done your best? What's all that shit about having minimum resources? If you meant to call, you could easily go over to the phone, dial my fucking number and wait for the phone to ring, and hear a jerky voice saying, "hi, I thought you'd never call." I wish I could see you bleed now, hear your tortured cry, it's like a source of comfort, letting me know how real everything that's happening is. I wish the tears would stop falling, wetting my table and shirt.

Fucking bastard just stepped into the house, and he's bloody fuck shouting at me again. Oh thanks ah, I know I'm not good at anything, don't have to remind me. Please look in the mirror. What are you good at? Shouting and screaming at people when you yourself don't have anything under your belt. Fuuuuuuuuuuuck. Reading the bible also wrong. Screw you la. You come home, eat, shower then play your dumb x-box. What rights do you have to say that I'm not good at anything? Just because you ejected a few million sperms into that woman's womb and I happen to be the product of it? Ah damn you.

I hate suicidal thoughts. Gah, go away please.

Okay, I wish I had the guts to slit my skinny ass wrist.

Ouch, it hurts damn bad.

edited

2007-05-05T11:44:00.000+08:00

How am I feeling today? Hmmm, I don't know y'know. Woke up because my sister was being a retard clapping and stomping her feet in the room. -.- Watched cartoons. Winx club, monster allergy, danny phantom & then pokemon. Finally detached myself from the tv and came up with an stewpit attempt at studying, but apparently failed because the temptation of the comp is too great.

Now, tell me why am I so bent on going back to the past when I know I won't be able to relive it again however hard I wish I could. Why am I sentimental when the people I treat with utmost sincerity doesn't reciprocrate?

I need to be strong and brave and get on with life no matter how tough the going gets. Yeah, I'll be meeting new people & all that (though I still like the old ones best). Sighsighsigh, I'm not emo, just sad and disappointed. Why? Because I've lost it all.

Something to be a lil happy about - outing with crys and jiawen on 12 may. :]
I like the old ones best ♥

2007-05-04T22:37:00.000+08:00

I should stop searching. Why? Because what's lost cannot be found.

Then how? Build again lorh. How to build? Don't know. Go search on the internet. "How to build a broken bond before it's gone?"

Think that previous post is written in vain. ]:
How? Don't know. Go search the internet lorh.
Why? Because you can find a billion things there.
Why? Because people post them up.
Why? Because people want to share their experiences.
Why? Because don't want you to make the same mistakes as they did.
Why? Because it hurts.
Why? Because when you've given your heart to doing something but it doesn't turn out the way you wish it'd turn out, the disappointment kills what little hope you've held on to.
Why? Because this is life.
Why? Because life's a bitch.
Why? Because life made bitchy friends.
Why? Because many people tried taking their lives.
Why? Because of manymany reasons.
Why? Because they can't cope with whatever's happening.
Why? Because they don't have a will strong enough.
Why? Because they don't have someone to keep them going.
Why? Because life's a bitch and doesn't want them to go on.
Why? Because they'll end up giving their lives away.
Why? Because that's how it goes.
Why? Because I'm writing it all down to prove that everything in the world is inter-related.
Why? Because what goes around comes around.
Why? Because that's the way things are.
Why? Because you're reading this.
Why? Because I've written it.
Why? Because I am trying my best not to be upset.
Why? Because there's a reason for me to be upset.
Why? Because people want me to be.
Why? Because they're selfish.
Why? How I know!

Me thinks sexy is sexy.
Why? Because sexy isn't yxes.
Goodbye.

2007-05-04T20:18:00.000+08:00

Bwahahaha, it's 8.20 now and I'm still in my uniform listening to ni shi wo de bao bei.

Reading -'s blog now. :] Don't know why make me feel so happy. Probably because the way she blogs is cute. Heeheee.

Okay, I really shouldn't try to be happy now, because it makes me feel pathetic, you know. Like how much I miss everyone's company but then they don't want to be with me any more. Yucks, that sucks cock.

Okay, in order to make myself feel better, I shall let everything out. :]

Hello peachie, I have no idea what I said to make you angry that day, but if you're reading this and you're still angry, please don't, because chocolate's still bewildered by your reaction that day.

& gaygay, I don't know what happened to you also, okay. Maybe it's me. Don't know la. I wish we were bestbest-s again, because I don't like the way things are going now. Hello, I miss you. Please don't AP meeeeee. Don't MS on my also pleaseplease. I wish you weren't so cold.

Ooogie, I feel so much better now. Yaye, this is good. I must thank - one day for her blog posts, though I don't know her + she doesn't know me. Heeeheee.

If I say this, I'll probably feel better. Hello boyfriend, I wish you'd call, give me roses, buy me chocolates, shower me with tender loving care without me asking. & even after asking, you still didn't call, or get me my roses. Hoho, why? I don't know. I'm feeling quite hmmm, amused now.

Date with kokhow today was good, he walked around with me, talked to me, and laughed with me. Like yay, but I still want my friends back. Why is everyone drifting away? Don't know leh.

Thanks renee for talking to me, about the past and all. I wish everything would go back to normal again. Like everyone's happy with each other, then we can all live happily ever after! No backstabbing and all, because I'm not that kinda person, I'd probably die without a body. Yeap, if there's anything, any issue at all, please raise it, we'll solve it together alright?

Okay, I feel great now. Like heeeheee. I shall be a nice person now, I will not shout at anyone even though I'm irritated, and I shall be true to myself.

Okay, loveeeeee. ♥

TSK, PEACHIE AND GAYGAY'D BETTER READ THIS. This blog post shall not be written in vain. Efforts will be appreciated! :D

2007-05-03T19:24:00.000+08:00

Can't believe it.

Moodswinggggg! Sucks.

What happened.. ]:

2007-05-03T19:01:00.000+08:00

I did something baaaaaad during recess today. ;P & the aftermath of that was interesting, but I didn't get to see. ]: Daaaaamn! Wasted. Huihui, be careful ~

Bus trip rocked, because we talked a lot of nonsense and crap and I showed huihui the gay world hotel. :D Went back to school, but then couldn't find mingming, so we went to 202 for lunch because we were super hungry after watching all the food on the bus.

Ate, then mingming called back, then he came to look for us then we went to school to look for jan then saw mdm tong together. Went to mac's after that, then we talked nonsense agaaaaaain. Bwahahaha, super funny la, jan and mingming. xD

Then after that, home.

Yeah, sounds boring, but heck laaaaaa. I know I'm happaye. :]
I love you! ♥

2007-05-02T17:00:00.000+08:00

What You Really Think Of Your Friends

Fafa is your soulmate.
You truly love GAYGAY.
You consider Val your true friend.
You know that Loo is always thinking of you.
You'll remember Mingming for the rest of your life.
You secretly think Huihui is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times.
You secretly think that Jan is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker.
You secretly think that Calvin is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Calvin changes lovers faster than underwear.
You secretly think Popo is shy and nonconfrontational. And that Popo has a hidden internet romance.

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoyoureallythinkofyourfriendsquiz/">What Do You Think of Your Friends?

Haha, out of nine, I think only four are true. Tsk, fafa's my soulmate eh! BWAHAHAHHAHA.

You Are 49% Jealous

You're a fairly jealous person, but it's nothing to beat yourself up about.A little jealousy is perfectly normal, though sometimes you take it a little far.Recognize when jealousy is taking over your life, and try to hold back your impulses.You'll be a better (and happier) person for it!

How'>http://www.blogthings.com/howjealousareyouquiz/">How Jealous Are You?

Never Date a Capricorn

Somber, demanding, and freakishly logical. Emotions? It's not clear that Capricorn has them.And while it may be flattering for a Capricorn to be serious about you, bad news: they expect you to be super serious in return.
Instead try dating: Aquarius, Gemini, Leo, or Virgo

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatsignshouldntyoudatequiz/">What Sign Shouldn't You Date?

You Are a Soft Kisser

Your kissing style is understated, but effective
You give soft, sweet, and soulful kisses.
And the key is, you only give kisses to someone incredibly special
Because you don't just go around kissing anyone

What's Your Kissing Style?

Tsk, huihui! Only to someone incredibly special. xD

You Are 61% Ready for Marriage

You are almost ready for marriage, and you could be ready to be engaged.You're still figuring out the details of your ideal relationship!

Are'>http://www.blogthings.com/areyoureadyformarriagequiz/">Are You Ready for Marriage?

Haha, okay then. Shall go find something else to do yo. Goodbye!

2007-05-02T16:02:00.000+08:00

I am home early today, and am currently busy slurping my maggie mee. xD

Chinese lessons officially rock because of my boy. :] We were playing under the desk todaaaaaay. Double period yo! :] Chem class together next year, and we'll play during every lesson, alright? ^^ Lessons were yet again mundane.

Went to look for mdm tong after school, then sent huihui home. Hurhur, he's super cute la. All his adorable facial expressions and the way he tries to dodge the oncoming people walking into him. Aww, bestbestbestest boyfriend ever. Love my boy superduper muchhhhh. <3

Home after that cos there's nothing to do. Bus ride with boyfriend tomorrow! :D YAYE.

2007-05-01T21:44:00.000+08:00

Don't you feel intimidated when you realised you've found the one?

Bbq was cancelled because andra was running a fever, so I went to study with huihui, jan, mingming, faris and charlynn instead. Was supposed to go to amk library to mug, but it was closed, so we changed venue to mac's. Did some work, but I gave up studying after the break, because I really can't concentrate.

Went out to swingggggg! :D Huihui came along after a while, and my boy can't swing for nuts. xD Faris & charlynn came, and all of us swingswing, but upon landing on the ground, I get all dizzy which sucks. Went back to mac's then we got chased out after a while.

Decided to go to kfc instead, then on the way, huihui told me that his dad was there, and I was like 0.0 and you didn't tell me?! Haha, he said he's dad would be going to kfc later, so I kept looking at the entrance when we reached kfc.

Left for amk hub with huihui, jan and charlynn. Was walking super slowly, while charlynn and jan were walking super fast all the way in front. So we had our brief er ren shi jie. xD Walked around and talked. Then 88, then dinner with family at toa payoh - pastamania. :]

After which, mummy bought my hair serum for meeeeee. WOOO, super happy. xD My hair's gonna be straight and there won't be any frizz! I love mummy<3 Home-d, and she trimmed my hair for me. Not much diff, except that it's a little thinner and my fringe's a lil' screwed. But hey, I guess it's alright. :]

If you were to ask now, I'd say I do. <3

2007-04-30T19:37:00.000+08:00

:D Wo men he hao le!

Haha, I got full marks for napfa! 5 points for everything. :D Wonderful! School was mundane, drama after school, last lesson with judy already. ]: Though she's a little strict today, I know it's because she's worried for us, and I still do like her veryvery much. :]

I think we performed well during drama! :D Me slit wrist! HAHA! Joon houng was suuuuuuuper charming during his performance can! The way he dressed, the way he talked, the way he acted. ZOMGGGGGG. Shuai si le. BUT, strictly during his performance only. :P

Think we've all done well la! But then stewpit yinghui, don't know what's her problem. We were running out of time and all that already, then we had to do major changes to our skit because certain people can't play certain roles, then she buay song, talk so much. -.- She don't wanna plan, then should go according to us right! Keep rolling her eyes and giving face. Zzz, then we talked to her nicely some more! In the end, really very anxious for our skit plus very irritated by her already, so shouted at her. x/

Heng, our skit turned out fineeee. Judy gave positive comments! xDDDDDDDDDD LOO, FELI! <3

Saw huihui, gaygay, mingming and jan coming back to school from don'tknowwhere, so went to show them my cut, then huihui believed la! HAH, until gaygay said, "aiyah, you think I'm so stewpit?" xD My silly boy got fooled! Awww. :]

Sat around 2/5 for a while before meeting mdm tong. xD Haha, our conversation with her was super duper funny please. Boys must wear their shorts higher because if it's too low, the temperature will be too high down there, and will contribute to singapore's infertility rate. Later cannot stand, and cannot perform, don't go crying to mdm tong say, I can't do it horh, she won't bother about you. BWAHAHAHAHHA, DAMN FUNNY PLEASE. We were all laughing like crap. xD

Still got what, wearing your shorts so low like 5cents 50cents, eminem which she prefers calling m&m chocolates. They are either criminals or lowly educated. Follow people must follow properly what. & their lyrics contain pornography and sex. Follow people like mr bean better. Dress nerdily, and he has a degree from oxford leh! Haha, damn entertaining please. I think I like seeing mdm tong already!

After that, went to mac's then gaygay went home. We were supposed to study there, in the end, we kept talking. I found huihui's ****** already! xD HAHAHAHAH, sensitive okay! Around 6, we walked to the bus stop and talktalktalk again. *NATNAT & BABIES & FERTILITY! :D

We missed 3 88-s this time before boarding. xD

BBQ & POOL TOMORROW! YAYE. But no huihui. :[
Awwww. Okay, shall go shower, then come online later.
Goodbye, peeepoooo! ^^

2007-04-29T18:27:00.000+08:00

Just home from watching 200 pounds beauty with mummy and stewpit irritating ass sister. Must watch la, super touching show. I cried like don'tknowwhat, and super loudly some more. People behind laughing at me. Don't think I don't know, laugh so loud, think I cannot hear? -.-

Then after that went to collect my specs, then walked home. On the way, kept thinking and thinking about things.. ]: Fuck la, damn emo. Reached home, came online, saw him online, but didn't feel like talking to him. Came to blog to check tagboard, saw his tags, then went his blog, saw his post, understands, but still can't help feeling pissed and disappointed. He asked if I'm angry on msn, then didn't reply, then he went offline, saying that he'll talk to me tomorrow.

Tomorrow, who knows if I still want to talk to him? I know I ought to forgive, but I can't help it, I really can't. He brought my hopes up so high, only to let it all fall and crush down on me. & ouch, it hurts. Very badly..

2007-04-29T12:04:00.000+08:00

Listening to over you now. Feel very much for it all of a sudden. Aye, what's happening to me man! Aw, damn. I shall go occupy myself with things to do then. Goodbye, world.

2007-04-28T21:38:00.000+08:00

I've waited the whole day for that one phone call. Guess he called everyone else, but me. ]: I was elated, over the moon even, when he said he'd call me. The phone call that never came.. Thought we'd finally get to talk over the phone, I'd be happy if it's only for 5 mins. Been together for over a month, but have never talked on the phone before.

]:

I'm such a pathetic person.

2007-04-28T18:23:00.000+08:00

Hey yo! I'm at ade's place now. We just finished playing basketball & volleyball with yongseng, naipeng, miguel and simin. :D Mr yap took soooooo long to come la. Dua pai! xD Then now I can't go for my haircut or service choconut. But it's okaaaaay! Very fun you know. :]

Then simin and I kept talking about yongseng and ade still liking each other. It's so freaking obvious that yongseng still do like her lorh. Then just now he strangled me. ]: HUIHUI, HE BULLY MEEEEEEE! xD He's suffering from his karma now. His toe was hurting very badly.. ^^

Aye, better blog more about that at home. Stewpit yongseng keeps trying to restrict what I write. Hello, this is my blog leh. Now he's angry already. Hahahaha!

Okay la, hope huihui calls soon to tell me if he wants to go study together. ♥

2007-04-28T12:57:00.000+08:00

& I remember the weird hand thing we did yesterday, it has to be a sign some how. It is fate working its magic, else we wouldn't have met, because our choices weren't where we are now, but yet we're posted to the same school, and I'm transferred to the same chinese class you're in. We share the same good friends, it can't be so coincidental some how, no? We got to know each other better, because you threw your jacket over. From that moment on, your name hasn't left my mind. Though you didn't know what you were doing that saturday night, but I'm glad you know you didn't make a mistake, you didn't deny me. I'd like to know you more, in depth. I'd like to know you for a very long time. I'd like to share every moment with you till the end of time. I'd like to drown with you on 7th july 2007, because you said we would do something special. Miracle, I remember. Deborah said, "if you can make it through the tagboard incident, you'll last for a very long time." She's right, isn't it? We made it through, we're stronger now, not as an individual, but as one, as a couple. We'll make it through everything together. Against all odds.

& I see forever in your eyes.
You know I'm not good with life without you.
<3

2007-04-27T19:53:00.000+08:00

I love today! :D

Skip everything, and just go to the part which we went for study date. :D The usual five. Took taxi to amk library, gaygay treat. :] Went there to look for place to study, then walk around, and huihui & I kept "shhing" each other. xD

Found a place, then they all started doing their maths, while I did my own maths. ]: So extra luh, why not all same class? Finished my maths, then started doing all sorts of silly things to huihui while they discussed about the maths paper. :] Heeeeeeheeeeeee, huihui's very afraid of meeeee. & our baby's very healthy. ^^

After a while, we all gave up on studying, and walked to kfc for lunch. Talked a lot with huihui on the way, then ate, then they talked about changes of their classmates. :] Then huihui & I drank from the same straw! Like I sucked the drink, then he drank from the other end. x] Bwahahahaha, I know you think it's disgusting.

Everyone split up after that. Gaygay went home alone, then jan waited for the bus with mingming, while huihui & I walked back to the bus stop near school to wait for 88. :] Talked a lot on the way also, then reached the bus stop, talked talked talked, then I couldn't help smiling. With you beside me.

He asked me, "what will you do if you wake up and realise that you can't see one day?" I said, "I'll learn to adapt, and hopefully someone will take care of me.."
"Then you can't come to school you know?"
"I know, then be it. What can I do?"
"What will happen to me?"
"You will go look for someone new."

Then he kept insisting that he wouldn't. & I kept telling him that I understand, and I won't blame him for looking for someone new.

We seriously talked a lot, and we missed at least 4 88-s. :D I'm super duper duper happy today. Thanks for everything, huihui. I love you. <3

Now I'm home, and I shall go shower then dinner.
:]

2007-04-26T21:38:00.001+08:00

Wednesday
:D
Consultation with simin, then down to meet huihui, gaygay, mingming and jan.
Huihui angry with me for a while, so went to pacify him, so didn't go to amk hub with simin.
In the end, okay already. So went back to 2/5 to play silly games. :D
Forfeits were damn cute la! xD
I know we all had fun laughing. ^^
202 with gaygay after that, then walked to amk hub, talktalktalk a lot, then home.
It started raining, then then thunder striked, gaygay was super adorable!
She covered my head instead of covering her own ears! ^^
I love you, gaygay! <3
On my way, saw so many places flooding you know. ]:
Think the world's coming to an end really really soon.. T.T

Today
Went to look for mdm tong in the morning for uniform check. Waited outside the general office for like, 20mins? She was there scolding mrs thiruman I think. When she's finally done, she walked into her office! -.- So went to the general office to look for her, then she checked and said, okay. But skirt too short. 0.0 Other people's skirt shorter never tio? Rawrrrrrr.

Huihui's having my babyyyyyyyy. :D Must take care of my beloved who's now carrying our precious one. Bwahahahaha, damn gay! I love my boy who's always giving in to me, just to make me happy even though he doesn't like to do certain things. ^^

After school, supposed to go for movie to celebrate faris' birthday, but then had to look for mdm tong, then couldn't find her in the hall, so just went down to look for her at general office. Who knows, saw mrs thiruman, then she stared at huihui and reminded him about his consultation later. So movie date with them was cancelled.

Went back to 2/5, then tried to cheer huihui up because he was very upset about breaking his promise. Then in the end, he ended up getting terrorised [is there such a word?] by me because I tried to.. xP Don't tell you! Then the four of them went for consultation while I stay in 2/5 to wait for them.

After they came back, stayed in 2/5 for a while to talk, then went to sakae sushi at j8. Cocked a lot, then eat a lot also. Buffet what, must make full use. But then I eat until going to burst already. T.T Then huihui said I look fat! Damn. ]: Huihui's treat because he brought his life savings out today. Bill = $90. 0.0

After that jiu home. He sent me to bus stop, then I went to toa payoh to meet ade and naipeng. Naipeng was very nice, he bought bubble tea for me. BUT THEN, wrong timing la. Eat until so full already, still drink bubble tea? Can die la! Sat at koufu and cocked for a veryvery long time. Haven't seen each other for so long already what. :] Hei guan, lan guan & lu guan.

Haha, then went to wait for ms tan, mr yap, nadia, miguel and zeus near sizzler since they're having dinner over there. Waited damn long before ms tan finally appeared, then miguel, then nadia, then zeus. Then I had to go home already, so couldn't see mr yap. ]:

So sad okay! I miss mr yap! Haven't seen him for about a year already! T.T I think he's leaving for thailand again soon. He's teaching the less privileged children voluntarily there. He's my hero yo!

Yeah, on the way home, gaygay called me, then we talked for a while, then lesles came home, so she had to hang up. Showered, ate a little, then went online to talk to gaygay & shermin. :D Very gay la, our conversation. xD I hope shermin will be able to make it for our study date tomorrow! xD

Yeah, shall go off now. Photos next time. Gotta go sleeeeeep. Good night! :]

2007-04-24T21:51:00.000+08:00

Friends are the best okay.

Naipeng's so freaking nice and all that, and I was moved to tears by what he said, and what he's willing to do for me. & I trust his words without a single doubt in my heart. For the four years we've known each other, he's always there, never running away when anyone needs his help. He's the best guy friend one could ever have. There's so many things about him that makes him so great, and so many things that we've been through together that makes our relationship so special. Summarise it all, and I only have three words to say, "I love you."

Are you ready to be a friend?

2007-04-24T19:22:00.000+08:00

Ow, crap. ]:
Shouldn't have asked.. ]:
Now I feel so sad & worried. ]:
But I won't cry. Shall just ignore. ]:

Stewpit.
You haven't let go.
~~He sounded so sad when he was talking about it..~~

Gah, whatever, I don't care.
Go pierce your ear, I don't care.

Stop swinging yo!

2007-04-24T18:19:00.000+08:00

Home! :]
Huihui sent me home! But on the way, we didn't have anything to say to each other.. Everything that comes out from my mouth is nonsense la.. x/ I'm like just blabbering on and on and on then he catch no balls jiu leng diao. ]: Twinny! Must tell me what you and twinny-in-law talk about when you send her home!

I kept imitating his actions while walking, then people kept giving us those weird looks/stares. x] Wahahahaha, suuuuuuper retarded luh. Then on the bus we didn't say much also. Aye, suck cock. >< Communication problem's coming baaaaaaack. -.-

Before EVERYTHING. Went to makan at 202 first, then soccer court, then amk hub. Haha, yeahhhh. The usual five gossiped! Then huihui guailan, go shout so loud. >< Scared he cannot hear. =/

Uh, okay. Think I shall just end my post here. There's nothing more to say. I hope huihui's coming online sooooon, and he'll reply my letter.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Okay, I am random, but I wanna reiterate this - we take people close to us for granted. Like before you're officially together, you'll think of way and means to be nice and make that person happy, but it changes when you are. & that's veeeeeery bad. So I shall treat huihui as a crush, and we're not together yet in order to cherish him more. :]

P.S ; I can't save money for nuts. ]:
P.S.S ; I am going to cut down my use of vulgarities, then stop totally after that. :]

Jia you, jia you!

2007-04-24T11:09:00.000+08:00

Please let it be me, and not the people around me..

I am feeling a little sad now, because.. x/
I wish it isn't fading, not so soon, I'm not ready yet, I don't think I'll ever be.
Maybe because you're tired, you didn't mean to be the way you are.

Gah, don't think anyone of you understands.. ]:

Shall just go continue on geog crossword puzzle now.
Goodbye. ;[

2007-04-23T20:39:00.000+08:00

Haha, & I missed this out.

GAYGAY & I! :D Effect damn nice, I knowwwww.

2007-04-23T19:57:00.000+08:00

Lessons were yaddah, yaddah. Mrs Seah knowwwwwws! Hahaha, but it's like she doesn't really care, so yeahhhh. Hah!

After school, went to look for mrs tan to call my mummy and daddy to pick my phone up, then daddy said he'll only be here at 3 or 4, so went to 202 to look for gaygay & co. with winston and faris. Was feeling very hungry on the way there because I skipped recess to save moneh, but upon reaching their table, my appetite's gone. ><

Went back to school with huihui, went to 2/5, then talktalktalk, suddenly.. x/ Shall not say, lest people don't like it. But it's alright now I guess. Hmmm, yeah. Then jan & gaygay came back from amk hub, and mingming from english consult. xD Crapped superduper much, and I got choconut back! :D

Was on our way out of school when mdm tong caught us for our uniforms. ><>

Gaygay suggested that we took a photo, & we did.. :D

NOTICE THE ARRANGEMENT! xD Shortest at the sides, tallest in the middle.

Amk hub with huihui & gaygay, bought bubble tea, then home! :D

I've saved $4.50 today! xD JIAYOU, BELLEBELLE!

Aaaaanyways, more photos below! :]

KYAW :D

Whole class of 2/5 having their books & files confiscated. xD

Gaygay with my adidas! DAMN GAY.

Tsk, emo alert! =/

HAH, DAMN CUTE RIGHT!

Our first proper photo together, and my hair has to be so screwed. ]:

Ogay then, shall go talk on msn nowwww. Haha, goodbye y'all!

2007-04-21T11:50:00.000+08:00

If I had one shot at changing my past, I'd use it to it's full potential and make myself happier than I am now. I'd do great things, for people and make them happy. I'd love everyone, and everything. I'd be normal for once, not that crazy lil' kid. I'd make a great impact in the lives I've touched.
But I don't have the chance.

Went to twinny's blog, and him and his darling super sweet la. Haha, I miss the old times! Bellebelle jia you, don't look back on the past, look forward to the future! :D I think I'm my best moral supporter. Like, duh! HAHA, ooooogie, I shall stop coming back to blog, or you're all going to die because of my multi-posting. Heh!

2007-04-21T10:49:00.000+08:00

I realised that everyone's aiming for 3/3 next year. ]: I'm torn between bio and chem! I like both sciences, & chem's very important in JC but like almost everyone around me wants to go into bio class, even huihui! ]: Howwwwwwww! So suck cock okay.

Going over to my aunt's house to make carrot cake or something like that later. Still don't have the chance to talk to huihui since yesterday after we've parted on the bus. Life just revolves around him and gaygay now. What will I do after cca resumes?! I'd die, I tell you. Lonerrrrr. Haha, okay. Things will change, for better! I hope? =/

You know, I hope I spent a little more time with my class girls. Okay, I shall work towards that from.. monday on! Valval! :] Hao bah, wo jiu ci ting bi. Zai jian. x]

2007-04-20T18:51:00.000+08:00

TAN ANN NIE SUCKS, I HATE SCIENCE LESSONS! _l_

Stewpit la, my phone got confiscated just because I wanted to check the damn fucking time because there isn't a clock in class. Then I didn't know she was standing in front of me, so she confiscated it. Fuck, damn it. Made me cry la, stewpit teacher. Supposed to bring choconut to service during the weekend one okay. ]:

Went to look for her after school, then she still don't want to give back though I explained again and again, then she say what, ask your parents to come claim it back. Think my parents so free ah? Come see your face. Cheebye. -.- Then talk talk talk, I attitude like crazy. Damn her la, fuck already, but no baby jiu moodswing, then husband at home resting because too despo, then keep fucking now too weak to walk.

Market with jan, gaygay, jorinda and jane. Didn't have appetite, then jiu go there drink and jan treated me to this ball of chocolate cake. Hah, didn't finish it. Hope I can feel that way everyday, then can save money. I've been blowing my money big time on food okay! I eat like a pig yo! ]:

Street soccer with them, huihui and 2/5 boys. Went there to watch and suntan. LOL, huihui sacrificed himself for meeeee. He stood up and blocked me from the sun. So sweet! :D Amk hub later, and kept bickering with huihui. Our form of communication. HAH! He treated bubble teaaaaa! xD Went to a place, settled down then talked. ^^

Walked out to take bus home, then I spotted this cloud, and there are hints of colour above it! Super pretty! Too bad choconut's not with me.. T.T We saw a miracle together. :]

On the bus, huihui and I bickered again. He's a jealous boyfriend! :D But he's so damn cute and adorable when he is, that's why I like to make him jealous! Haha! xD You haven't told me many things about yourself, you know? We shall go on looooong bus rides soon, so we can talk a lot. :] No matter what, sweetest or not, I love you now and forever. You make me happy, and I wouldn't know what to do, or where to go - so lost without you.

My pillar of support.

All the photos of us are taken by deborah tan wei xian aka gaygay. :D

2007-04-19T17:23:00.000+08:00

HOHO, dear reader, you shall not read on if your computer is dying on you/you don't like looking at photos/you don't have time/you don't like camwhores. :D Because, today's post has a very very very heavy photo content. Hey, 50 photos in a day alright!

Science lesson was fuuuuuuuun! Practical today, and we had to use saliva. Then I donated mine. Haha, very disgusting la, I know. But then practical lessons are always fun! :] Then no idea what got into me, suddenly went around bugging people to take photos with me. HAH. Okay, shall just let the photos do the talking.

Materials.

SALIVA! :D

Experiment! x]

& bestest and I played with limewater, and white precipitate were formed! xD

End product. :]

They are love, yo!

I have the best lab partner ever okay! :D Benjamin Lau! <3

Heehee, I am being gaaaaay.

Ogay, lessons were okayokay, then before lit test, read rachel's notes for a while and the same topic came out! Like omggggg, so zhun! Rachel's my saviour! <3>

Phototaking after school, then went to look for gaygay & co at kfc. xD Then sng with gaygay to pass waiteng her present. Haha, then after that gaygay wanted to go explore the neighbourhood, so we went in and became damn gay. Saying, this house is ours, that house is ours. xD & we played at the playground!

Adventures of gaygay and bellebelle! :P

Okay, I think I should stop uploading photos for now. It's lagging like don't know what. If you 'd like to see more, please visit my photo gallery. :]

We walked around the estate and saw manymany nice houses and cars and we kept claiming that it's ours. Crapped a lot, and I'm really glad I have you, gaygay. xD You make me happy! <3>

TLC = tender loving care/table ladder chair! HAHA:D

2007-04-18T18:09:00.000+08:00

I've lost them all, one by one..

Not that I'm emo or anything, but why the hell did things turn out this way? Try hard as I might, but I still can't block out everything. Like, I don't even know what I did to peachie to make her get angry with me la. -.- Then now I think shermaine's pissed at me also. ]:

Okay, anything la. Menses here again. Stewpit la, please don't swingswing. Must go stock up on chocolates! Gah, april can suck my cock if I had one. So wtf okayyyyyyyyy. There's nothing to blog about today, except for the fact that I'm reaching home earlier and earlier because of huihui. ><

I need to study at a conducive place! Nothing ever gets in my head. Gahhhh, howhowhow? Science test was alright, I guess. Lit test tomorrow, and hoho! I haven't even studied, didn't read a single page. Lalala, get ready to fail already.

Okie, I shall go.. find something to do. ]:

2007-04-17T18:35:00.000+08:00

HAPPY ONE MONTH TO US!
I am glad I'm no longer suffering from self denial. HAH!
I told mummy that I may be les, and she's like, "huh?! HAHAHAHAHAH! You can't be les la, don't worry." So I asked her why, then she's like, "because the way you look at the male counterpart tells everything already."

So for once, I am really really really proud of looking at boys. :D
Haha, I know I'm mad, but I really really didn't want to turn les or worse, bi! So yeap, you have to bear with me. xD

Huihui's so sweeeeeeeet. He wrote me a letter, and gave me rochers! Aww, and I feel like a lousy girlfriend because I didn't do anything for him because I didn't have inspiration, time and money. Sorry, I promise to be sweeter on 170507. & 170607. & all the other 17th. :]

We'll have a longlonglong way ahead right? Not letting go, not any time soon. Gonna hold on very tightly, unless there's a very good reason for us to part, yes? ;] Je t'aime! <3

Okay, I should really go now, since I'm blogging from school. Goh lye hock's lesson. HEH. ;D

Sayonara!

Continued..

Haha, after school, went to j8 with gaygay and I got this flower for huihui. xD So therefore, I am veh sweet. Then I went back school, but I couldn't find him, so I went to innotech room to look for loo, and ended up meeting manymany people and talking to them and having fun. :D Then faris said that huihui's in the band room and went to call him out for me. ^^

So, I took the flower, dragged him to some corner where there's less people, only a few sec 1s, and I proposed. :P "Will you marry me?" Haha, then he was in shock for like, 2 mins? Then those sec 1s were like, "eh, hen lang man ah.." [or something like that] Turned out that they were his juniors. -.- Haha, then he agreed to my proposal. xD

Don't know why, after a while, his classmates got him to propose back. -.- We went to a corner where he.. xD Don't tell you all! HAHA. Went outside the band room, where he went in and out and shizhen came out and poured his saliva on the floor. -.- Then huihui came out and I wanted to warn him, but ended up dropping choconut instead. T.T Heart broken into a 1001 pieces. Xin hen tongggggg! ><

Went to the bus stop, and we missed 2 88-s. First one was because I wanted to talk more, second one was because.. xD Don't wanna tell you! LOL.

I think we're damn childish. Haha, but childish is gooooood. Because at least we got something to do and talk about. x] I likeeeeeeeeeee. & huihui owes me a rose! :D

Ogay la, me go argue with huihui on msn already. :P

Take care, y'all!

2007-04-16T19:15:00.000+08:00

This is baaaaaaaaaaad.. ]:
I think I'm actually not as straight as your ruler! Or maybe your ruler's crooked, that's why I turned out this way. Now I'm a little like the jin xiuyi of hana kimi. ZOMG, THIS IS BAD RIGHT! Bad thing is, I don't think the person I like is really a guy, because.. aiyoh, this in not a tv drama!

T.T This is bad like don't know what, plus I'm falling for two person I think. ]: Like many things happened today, but what kept occupying my damn screwed up mind is the fact that I'm possibly crooked. Gah, scares the fuck out of me. I have a boyfriend for goodness sake!

TOMORROW'S ONE MONTH PLEASE! Why am I such an idiot? This suuuuuuuuucks like big time! Howhowhow? & I haven't done so many dammit homework. Okay, I'm ready to die.

SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS.

2007-04-15T19:49:00.000+08:00

I am so excited about tomorrow! :D
We're going double dating again with jan and mingming.
I hope conversation with mingming would go smoothly tomorrow.

Anyway, huihui's jacket still with me.
I thought his smell's gone.
But turned out there's still a little bit of him on the sleeves. (:
I am so happaye about it! Haha!
I am very much in love w him.
~~& jodine.~~

Haha, okay. I'm gonna concentrate on talking to gaygay now.
Goodbye, y'all! :D

2007-04-15T13:33:00.000+08:00

You know, after not talking to fartsie for so long, talking to her for the first time in months feel so great. Okay, we do talk, I mean talk a little, like briefly only. Then now we're talking like muchmuchmuch more, and it makes me happy. For one, it's because we talked about jodine yam chin din. :D & another reason is because she looks like jodine and I like talking to her a lot for don't know what reason. ><

Okay la, so summarise everything, and you get. Orangie likes fartsie a lot. ^^

Lame and random post. That's what you get on her lazy sunday afternoon. :D

2007-04-14T22:27:00.000+08:00

I know you'll be laughing with me, always.

If I had to sum out everything, I'd say that cashmere is the one and only guy I've been so serious about. The one whom my heart still yearns for after close to a month. Usually the love just fades away. This time it's growing stronger. Thank you for everything. Thank God for the miracle sent down to me in my time of need, to pick me up on my own two feet and to show me that love and miracle do exist.

Heaven's Missing An Angel

I hope the Man upstairs
Isn't mad at me
'Cause I have one of His angels
And she's here with me
When I see her precious smile
And she spreads her wings
It takes me to a place where love
Meets eternity

Oh, no I'm not letting go
I don't want to be alone
In this crazy world
Oh, Lord How I love her so
And I'll sacrifice it all to have her
In my life

(Chorus)
I found my girl
I'll tell the world
That Heaven is missing an angel
My dreams came true
When I found you
Yes, Heaven is missing an angel

Not a day goes by
That I don't thank God for you
He blessed me with my angel
Though I don't deserve you
Until I found you, girl
Lonely was my best friend
Now that you are in my life
I am stronger within
I can't wait to kiss my angel
Late at night
And watch her go to sleep
Until I see her rise

(Repeat chorus)

All that I do is for you
Me without you, girl, just won't do
Oh, no Your love's all I want to know
Angel, don't you ever go
Life won't be the same without you

(Repeat chorus)

I wanna be that angel, just for you.

2007-04-14T20:11:00.000+08:00

ZOMG, I've got like so many things to say at first, but then after JODINE YAM gave me her signature, took a photo with me, shaked my hand and said byebye to me, I can't think of anything else but her! I am the world's luckiest girl that very moment when she smiled at me okay? :D Jodine is love! Come on, repeat with me. Jodine is love! Gah, she looks like fartsie you know! Like, veryvery much la. Then when she looked at fartsie, she gave the weird look, guess she saw the similarities too! Haha! :D Jodine's so so so so so super duper friendly can! The way she writes my name, the way she writes her name with a cute lil' smiley behind.. Gahhhhh, I can't help it la! I like her A LOT. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT, THOUGH I'M STRAIGHTER THAN YOUR RULER. Oh ya, thanks christine for everything! Signature and photo! Thank you so much, HUGS AND KISSES! :]

OKAY LA, AS PROMISED, I'M GONNA POST PHOTOS! :D

130407

TODAY

JODINE YAM<3

SEE, THEY LOOK SO ALIKE RIGHT!

But I look so screwed in the photo with fartsie teo.. ]:

The ball which she threw to me when thinthin accidentally dropped it. :D

JODINE ROCKS MY SOCKS! :D

With this, I shall end my post. :]

Jodine yam is part of the national squad for under 21, and was from tkgs, now in temasek poly. :]

JODINE YAM IS LOVE!

2007-04-14T12:18:00.000+08:00

Talk with mummy just now was fun, and nice. :]

We talked about huihui, and mummy wanted to see his photo, showed her, and she said that huihui's cute. Haha, mummy likes his bah gei leh! :P Then mummy complimented his handwriting. She say he can write chinese very well, she likes it a lot and asked if she can ask him to write for her next time. Oh, and she asked me to ask him to write my name on all my books next time, so it won't be so ugly. ]: Mummy suan me laaaaaa. Think she likes him more than me now.

^^
Meeting thinthin and simin later to watch nsl. I sort of miss netball, and netball training. Gah, it's all in the past, let it go!

Ogay, photos later at night, if I'm not too lazy. :D

2007-04-13T22:40:00.000+08:00

But then ah.. since gaygay asked me to blog about today, I shall blog.

We were damn gay in twofive. Gaygay talked about primary school with huihui, then me and chiamin felt left out so I started talking nonsense about our primary school even though she's from aitong and I'm from bhps. xD

Then after that started playing with gaygay's mask. Damn gay la, then got what weapon. "piangpiang here, piangpiang there." So lame and funny laaaaaaa. :D

Then we started playing heart attack :D Heehee, super fun lorh! Then after that play some hit hand thing, I'm teh champion yo! Haha!

Ya, stop here already la. Talking to laopo on the phone now.. Yeah, one night I wanna talk to huihui on the phone laaaaaa. Though I don't know what to talk about.. =/

2007-04-13T22:12:00.000+08:00

Thank you for the warmth of your hand, the scent of your jacket. <3

Lessons were alright. Kou shi after school. :] I'm proud to say I did well! After kou shi, went back to class and discuss about it, then to twofive to wait for huihui. :D

Talked to jan and all, and listened to songs and started singing. ^^ Huihui finally came down at 3.36. Hah, he stuttered man! My adorable boyfrienddddddddd. x]

Jan proposed to me with a very pretty ring and I accepted her proposal. Hello, I am mrs yuen. Heehee, then slacked around in twofive. Vehhhhhhhh fun right, gaygay, chiamin, liting, huihui? :P

I love my boyfriend, I love my boyfriend, I love my boyfriend! Lololololololololoves! <333333333

Mac's, then home with huihui. I love going home with him laaaaa. Can talk cock and there's someone to accompany me for about 2/5 of my trip home. :] && "I haven't done something for a very long time already.." xP

Eh, huihui, I never go to your house before lehhhh. Not hinting or anything, but if you think I'm hinting and you get the hint.. Then you know what to do right.. ^^

Really lazy to blog nowadays. Just want to say, I love huihui many many! Four more days to one month - one step closer to forever. :]

2007-04-12T21:10:00.000+08:00

UNO with huihui on MSN is fuuuuuuuun :D
Makes me feel happy. Haha, I'm a kid la!
Five more days to one month!
Feels as if it's only been 2 weeks.
Time flies when I'm with you. :]

Anyways, cheer up fartsie! :]
I still think the green rectangle head, short legs and hands thingy is cuter. :P
Happy yi dian okay!

Tomorrow's kou shi! Jia you, people!
:D

2007-04-12T17:41:00.000+08:00

Daddy drove me to school today. :] Reached school, then huihui came to look for meeeeeee! :D Hughug, then he went off for practice already. Psycho-ed loo to go to the hall to watch them play with me. They played super well! Then on the way back to class, saw gaygay, then gaygay asked me to go to the hall again.

Luo mi ou ponned school today! Haha, then he asked about his subway cookies. Gaygay and I watched for a while, and we were almost late. 7.27, then we rushed down to the parade square.

Chinese lesson, I sat with gaygay! Then kept talking and chen lao shi hit my head. ;x Bellebelle scored full marks for ting li leh! :D HAHAHAHA, GAYGAY ALSO! But then didn't hear chen lao shi saying huihui's marks..

English was alright, then after that NCC land people left, then class became so empty and everyone started changing seats during literature. :D I miraculously passed my lit test by 1 mark even though I didn't study! BWAHAHAHAHHA. I think my luck's damn good! Lit lesson was fuuuuuuun! ^^

Then after school, went to buy bubble tea then mac's with gaygay. Talked lame crap and nonsense. Super gayyyyyyyyy. Went back to school and watched volleyball boys play pool. Then gaygay wanted to take photo of chiamin's early bird, so she asked hansen to help her. Then hansen zoomed all the way in behind the cupboard then when he tried to take early bird's photo, the camera landed on a malay guy, then he said, "wah, kua tio gui!" Then gaygay and I burst out laughing. Then hansen asked frankie to help, then he's super obvious la. :D I think he took nice photos of early bird man.

Then after that, longlong and thinthin came to look for us, and we were on our way out of school when we saw band coming back. Gaygay and I were super excited and started running. But then reached there, didn't see huihui and chiamin. :[ Thinthin asked pupeng about the results.. then they got gold with honours! :D
YAYE, their hard work paid off! :D

Took taxi to amk hub, then walked around.. Then went home at around 4. Reached home super duper duper duper early. Like, 4.45! Gah, soooooooo super early please.

Okay, I am damn excited plus happy now. But no idea why huihui's taking so long to reply me on MSN. ]: Suck cock. T.T

2007-04-11T21:51:00.000+08:00

Anyways, I will never ever ever go for trainings again, because mr ong bruised my ego by telling the whole team that he might be kicking me out. Suit yourself. I can't fucking be bothered any more. I'm gonna quit and be cca-less, or easier. Wait to be sacked, but that would bruise my ego further.

If you're sacking me because I keep ponning training, I'd like you to know that I don't see the point in me going for training when I'm just going there to pick balls. You can't even be bothered to teach me the basics. Everything I know now was taught by my friends.

zzz, irritating. I can't believe I used to like you so much. Now I just find you the most sickening person on earth. Go away, please.

2007-04-11T20:30:00.000+08:00

Hello, april. I just wanna tell you that you suck and can you please kindly kiss my ass?

You know, yesterday was moodswing day, so I didn't blog. Today was also moodswing day, but I have to blog because I am bo liao plus I need to keep my mind occupied for a while, because I miss my boyfriend who's gonna stay in school for band practice till very late today because SYF's tomorrow and he's not camping at school because his mummy doesn't allow. :D

So yesterday, I can't remember some parts already, but after weights training, played volleyball and soccer. Super fun yo! Hit the ball super highhhhh, then soccer any how run and kick ball in the rain. :] Felt super great. Then hanwee treated me to drinks. Thanks ah! x]

Today sucks. :] Went for recess, when I'm moodswinging, then some normal acad/tech girls poured hot soup on my leg. LIKE WTH! They didn't even bother to say sorry, and just continued laughing. Daaaaaaamn it la. I went into the toilet to wash up and removed my socks. Then I went up to class without socks. Then huihui tried to ask me what happened, but I just kept ignoring him because I couldn't find words to say. Then walked around feeling pissed, and I went back to class and started hitting laopo and the tears just fell, though I tried so hard to hold them back.. ]:

When I'm emo, the ones who suffer isn't just me, it's people around me. Thank you twothree for bearing with my tantrums, thank you everyone who cared. I shall be alone next time when I'm emo, just like shermin.

Valval kept hugging me, through everything. Thank you, val. It helped a whole lot. I calmed down, and started crapping with fafa about cao ge's ni shi wo de bao bei. xD Crapped till super happy and gay. Then I irritated him because I kept singing to him. Heeeheeeeee.

Assembly, then watched twofive's class dance. I like amira's sweater/hoodie/jacket. Whatever it is. So so so so so nice alright! Then I like huihui's jeans + belt! :D You're the love yo! Then streaming talk. -.-

After that, went to twofive to look for gaygay/huihui. Then started asking about chan chuen. Then huihui so kaypoh! HAHA. He said I sounded interested in chan chuen, so therefore, I am. I shall chan chuen you, since you said that. Haha, then I told huihui I liked his jeans and belt, then he removed his belt for meeeeeee. Aww, so sweet! :]

Then left for marina with peachie who's pissed at me for I don't know what reason now. -.-
Saw her brother, benedict. Then yaaaa. Walked around, looking for her wallet which she didn't get. Then went to look for her brother at the bowling alley, and his friends wear braces! :D ZOMG, SO CUTE LA. HELLO, STANDREW'S I LOVE YOU! Thank you for producing so many cute braces wearing boys. I'm gonna aim for SA and go there to drool and I'm writing all these to make huihui jealous which I think he will be when he reads it. HAHA. Work hard and go there together la, okay! :]

Then I saw suuuuuuuuuuper nice mango miniskirt and shorts! $49! Gah, I waaaaaaant! I want my skinny jeans also. Then there's the nice puma top, and nike shoes, and fox tops! AIYOH. I must work already la! So pretty okay! I waaaaaaant!

Then after that, peachie started ignoring me and went off alone.

Yeaaaaaap, that's all. :]
Jiayou for SYF tomorrow yo!

& we'll finally have time for each other! <3

2007-04-09T21:11:00.000+08:00

Morning was wtfffffffff, okay. I am officially suffering from monday blues. Gah, that sucks alright?

Ogay, PE lesson was used to chiong chinese homework. Thank you, loo for doing my gong han for me yo. I'd be in trouble without you. :]

Chinese lesson was used to bully huihui. Huihui, wo hen ai ni, ni ai wo mahhhhhhh?

Drama with judy ngo was fun, though I was feeling lethargic. She's vehvehveh nice to talk to la. :D Art was used to talk with yuqing, chloe, mel, meiyi and loo. Talking heals the soul yo, thanks girls. :]

After school, chiong literature, and thanks once again loo! :] After that, went to mac for double cheese with felicia, celine, loo and val. Crapped! :D LOOOOOOOOVE.

Simin called, and asked me to go to amk hub with her. So I met her and then we walked there together. :] I bought my oreo banana and then we went down to get her prata sausage, then thinthin called. Met thinthin, longlong and xinlin at fish & co. Makan thinthin's fish and chips because she couldn't finish, then after that, we walked around and saw newyork newyork, then went in there to makan fondue! :DDDDDDDDDDDD

While waiting, longlong kept nudging me and asking me to go get the cotton candy which was FOC. HAHA! COTTON CANDY YO, but it's not pinkkkkkk. ]: We talked a lot, and I can't remember why thinthin started laughing like crazy and the way she laugh was gaaaaaay. She'll like cover her mouth but her hands are damn weird. Haha, don't know how to explain la, but very funny and gay jiu dui le. :D

Cotton candy!

Fondueeeeee!

My uber cute marshmellow! :D

Longlong's ugly marshmellow. HAHA.

Number of cotton candies we ate together. x]

Don't know why, everytime I dip the strawberry into the chocolate, confirm fall off one. Irritatinggggg. Made everyone laugh at me. Gahhhhh.

Walked around and down to fairprice to buy sushis. :] Then thinthin paid for the cab to go back to school. Thanks! :P

We went to don't know which block's downstairs talktalk and makan, then gaygay called. Asked me to buy drinks. Then after a while, went to buy and went to school to look for gaygay.

2/5 making props for class dance, then just go there chou re nao + wait for huihui. But then unsuccessful attempt. ]: Deng bu dao..

The problem between us is the lack of communication. I can't call you at night because I don't have the guts to do so. We don't have enough time for each other, and I have no idea how to strengthen our bond, I feel so lost and confused at times. But one thing I know is that I love you more everyday. I can't stop falling in love with you. & I don't wanna lose you, ever.

To janette and derrick : if our friendship's just gonna go into the drain now, I think it's a waste. Cash and I are alright already, and I am very sure I am serious in him and this relationship. If you're gonna stay angry at me because of that event, I think it's pure stupid. I really hope we'll be alright again.

2007-04-08T18:36:00.001+08:00

I am now the daughter of God.

There are so many things I want to say, but can't put into words. I hope gaygay and cash would come online soon. I need to talk.

Not that I'm upset or anything, it's just that everything's happening so soon, I don't even know what's the next step now.

Going to church today taught me about having faith in God, and in everything that you do. Cash, be happy to know that you were constantly on my mind today, even during praise and worship. I miss you, I hope you've missed me too.

2007-04-07T19:43:00.000+08:00

I've lost.. them both.

Two people that I've held close to my heart, who would have thought things would end this way? Hey yo, you never know what may happen the next second. Can I hit the rewind button, fix things and make them right again? I thought friendship was forever, I'm wrong again. Relationships are damn it vulnerable. I wish I could have a rope thick as a tree trunk and tie everyone close to me, and no one will ever be allowed to run away.
Earth to annabelle yo.

Gaygay, I'm praying hard that nothing of this sort would ever happen to us. I'd be so lost without you. :[

Where are you when I need to talk so bad?
Please come online soon..
I'm beginning to become dependent on you.
What if, you were to leave me one day?

Please be independent, lest you lose yourself again.

Pardon me for multi-posting. I'm eeeeeemoshit yo.

2007-04-07T14:34:00.000+08:00

♥ BELLEBELLE ; 17MARCH'07 - HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CASH! says:
thinthin ah, wo hen ai ni leh

`sherm ;D says:
wo ye hen ai ni mah.

♥ BELLEBELLE ; 17MARCH'07 - HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CASH! says:
awwwww, diabetes already

`sherm ;D says:
haha.;D nvm lahh.

`sherm ;D says:
wo yang ni yi bei zi.

♥ BELLEBELLE ; 17MARCH'07 - HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CASH! says:
AWWWWWW xD

♥ BELLEBELLE ; 17MARCH'07 - HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CASH! says:
sweet dao yao si!

xD
THINTHIN AH! Hen ai hen ai ni! <3

I miss you.
Cashmere hui, will you go on a date with me tomorrow?

2007-04-07T10:44:00.000+08:00

I enjoy reading blogs of people that I don't know. I read, and it sets me thinking about myself, my life, my dreams and my future. What I would be if I didn't take this route, what I would be if I took the road less travelled in the future. But as judy ngo had pointed out, going down the road less travelled will not be an easy feat, but I'm really curious and really like to try it out ; yet I don't have the courage to do so, for fear that I'll meet with a lot of obstacles on the way.

There's a little difference you can make, but it's a difference to the world all the same.

Like some random person or an old friend whom you haven't been contacting for a while tags your board, telling you that they like the things you write, or that they haven't forgotten you makes a big difference to your mood if you were feeling melancholic initially, no?

I guess many people take people close to us for granted and like their words doesn't have the power to change you any longer. & as time passes, that person won't even be bothered to try to talk to you, then you will slowly notice the change and wish you didn't do the things you did, and instead, treasure that person and hold him/her close to your heart.

I know I'm drifting further from where I've started, but it's difficult not to explore the many other things that that one topic has opened your mind and heart to.

Now that I've written all these, I wonder - is there someone that I don't know about reading my blog on a daily basis? Did I make a difference in your life. Then again, it's not really that important. What matters is the difference that I make in the lives of people I know, and are very close to. Did what I write set you thinking about your life, and the differences you can make in the lives of many other people? I sincerely hope it did.

2007-04-07T09:50:00.000+08:00

"I want 999 roses."
"To have 999 roses, you need 999 boyfriends."

"I want 999 chocolates."
"To have 999 chocolates, you need 10 boyfriends."

"I want 999 hearts."
"To have 999 hearts, you need 999 boyfriends."

"I want 999 eunices drawing 999 eunices."

06APRIL'07

With ricky. :D

With mily. :D

2007-04-07T09:13:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CASH!
Been through a lot of heartache, but I made it back to you.

You're fourteen now, and we're officially of the same age. I want you to stop pointing and using that stewpit tone on me, because you're older now and need to know the proper way of communicating. I want you to start making wise decisions instead of rash ones. I want you to grow up, get braces & be happy everyday. :D

Hope you like austin.. & the card.

I love you.

2007-04-06T21:25:00.000+08:00

I love you, cashmere. <3

I wanna talk on the phone one dayyyyyyyy. Till 2 in the morning or something. That would be so cool right! But then there's nothing to talk about. Listen to each other snore. LOL. :D

Thanks, gaygay. I'm not going to be tempted by the thing I bought for you and keep it for myself. I will not. Okay, I'm trying haaaaard.

2007-04-06T18:12:00.000+08:00

I wish things didn't have to get so bad, I don't want to stay up at night, and cry again. I wish I had more faith, I wish I was braver, I wish I could be that happy girl, forever and ever..

Dragged out by parents to the temple. -.- Felt like fuck then black face-d throughout the whole thing, then lunch and then met emily, ricky and kokhow at bugis.

Went to cine and I got gaygay something. :] Then went to buy tickets for number 23 and went to makan. Number 23 is highly recommended. Then after that, kokhow and ricky left for east coast, then emily and I walked around heeren and I got my blue hairband, like finally.

Theeeeeen, home. I wanna go home at this time everyday, because the sky's so pretty in orange with streaks of blue and white..

I don't want to be the way I am now, I feel so numb. I need something or someone to make me happy again, but I'm not sure what, or who. I need to find myself again. I've lost myself to sadness, anger and stupid arguments. If things weren't so complicated, if love's easier, if I'm stronger..

I need to pull through. I can't give up on my one last try. Show me the way, to love again.

2007-04-05T22:07:00.000+08:00

I still can't get over Hey, don't you think you are too much le. I know that cash love you so much, but can you just return the love he gave you? I only feel the love he gave in to the relationship, but what about you? Do you actually think that your love for him is worth it? Definitely not! He deserve a much more better stead. You are definitely not serious in this relationship. We all think you should just let him go. You are not loving him, but hurting torturing him. Stay away from him.

I feel like crap now. Maybe, I should have listened, and don't make the effort to patch. Maybe I'm really not worth it, and he deserves someone better. Maybe I'm not ready to go into a relationship, not serious enough. Should have just let him go, and stayed away from him.

I am swingswingswinging now. I wish I had no heart again. I don't wanna cry, and maybe I'm not as strong as I think I am. I can only fake a smile, but I can't make myself ignore everything. I wish I could run away, from reality, from everything.

Just for a while.. a little while..

2007-04-05T21:08:00.000+08:00

Today was omfgwtfstewpitidioticnonsense day.
Cramped like crazy in school, thank God limweikiang was reaching school already, junjun called her and she rushed for me. :] Thanks ah, juanjuan! <3

Science lesson was fun! Biooooooo. Hello, I'm gonna be a bio student instead of a chem student. :P Bio is suuuuuuper interesting, and you get to molest models, like pokepokepoke the ass! HAHA. & you get to remove the lungs, liver, heart, intestines and fix them back again! Yeahhhhh. Valval and I went high over it. :D

Chinese lesson.. someone kept diao-ing me. zzz. Recess with gaygay. Taaaaalked. Then after that, very bu shuang already, then sometwo came to talk to me. So I asked sometwo to tell someone to stop diao-ing me and giving me attitude. Then godknowswhat came over me, I suddenly cannot control myself and went over to attitude someone. I shouted, "liang ge ren de shi, xian zai bian cheng le mei ge ren de shi. Hen hao wan ah." Before going back to class to bao za. I seriously burst. Like I couldn't help screaming and crying and I felt so angry, sad, yaddah. Everything came all at once. I think I would have self destruct if you people weren't there. Thanks gaygay, valval, simin, fafa and looloo. <3>whole lot. :] I'm gonna die for lit test. Haha, everything anyhow doooooooo. Can't be bothered also.

Went to liu tang at 2/5, then before that was standing outside class, then someone fucking attituded me agaiiiiiin. Lalala, it's alright, wo ren. Valval and looloo gave huuuuuugs. :D

Liu tang-ed, then went to wait for peachie outside the hall because gaygay wanted to pass her the box of hearts she made for her. Talked outside the hall, then received sms from sometwo. Read already like wtf. Sian diaooooo + fucking angry + zzz + I could just fucking kill people.

When they were finally released, thinthin talked to me la, and she gave hugs also. Thanksthanksthanks! Plus she typed thinthin LOVES belle! on my phoneeeee. Xie xie thinthin! Wo ye hen ai ni~! We stoned and talked at 3/3 for a superduper long time because gaygay doesn't know what to get for waiteng.

Then eunice gave us art lesson. HAHA.
I said, "I want 999 roses." So eunice was like, "okay." Then she started drawing.. "If you want 999 roses, you must have 999 boyfriends." Then she draw until damn funny la! Then she asked, "what else do you want?" So I said, "999 chocolates", then she started drawing.. Aye, go into details tomorrow or something. I took photos! :P Gaygay and I laughed like crazaye la, cos it was damn funny and entertaining.

We finally left for cine at around 3.. Talked a lot on the way there, then reached there, we went to more than words. I got present for cashmere, cos it's gonna be his birthday in.. 2 days time. Then gaygay got waiteng a metoyou bear, and cashmere a spongebob because.. HAHA, BAH GEI LIKE HIM. LOL LOL LOL.

Waited for people to finish wrapping for us, then we went to kobayashi to makan. :] Theeeeeen, went down to amk to meet peopleeeee. Walked and talked again. :D Gaygay, iie lurbbe euusxz manymany la. :P

Met up with cash, passed him his present, then yaaaaa. He hao. Then walked around, then went home, then blah. No mood to blog already. -.-

Shuo dao someone & sometwo jiu hen.. ><>< Tomorrow.. I don't feel like going out for movieeeeee. But then I don't wanna stay at home and get nagged at by my fucking irritating grandmother. -.-

Shitzxzsxz badszxzszx moodzzxsxzx.
Read something that I really shouldn't read, then now I'm feeling pissed at.. SOMEBODY. Like, fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. Go away ~

I don't wanna give hearts already la. Stewpit heart. _l_