9:19 PM

Today was, hahahahhahahaa.
A joke.

So I shall talk about the past and present of my relationship with deborah tan wei xian aka happykid aka gaykid.

I read through our archives, and I remember that you betrayed my trust because of cassandra, and it really hurt darn bad back then. Before that happened, our relationship was.. not too bad. I'm sort of glad that the betrayal took place, because it brought us closer. I guess it's due to the fact that both of us did our parts to try to mend the hole in each other's hearts. I can't image life without you now. Everyday I would look for you, to dine together, play together, go out together, or simply waste our time together. You've always been there when I was down and under, always trying to make me happy again, but yet I can't do much for you. I'm sorry deb, I just don't understand you some times, and I have no idea how to make you feel better. Believe me, I would give anything within my power to see you happy every single day. I want to see you smile, not forced nor faked, but a smile that comes through from within your heart. I know you haven't been feeling good these days, but please calm yourself down and see the beauty of life and the goodness of the world. There may be things that doesn't go your way, but I hope you won't let it bother you so much. Remember, for everything, there's still me behind you, supporting your every decision. I'll be there for you, 24/7. This, I swear to you.

P.S ; david rocks. :D

♥

9:37 PM

Walao eh, swingswingswinging now. ))))))))))))))))))))))))))):

What simin told me earlier bothers me a lot eh.
Rawrrrrrrr. Bellebelle happy yi dian!

zzz, si bei sian.
Now is the time to say..
FUCK, I SCREWED UP.

♥

8:50 PM

Blah, blah.

Mood swingswing a little just now.
But picked balls for the netballers for a while and felt much better already.

& I almost missed my stop because I was too tired and fell asleep on the bus. =/
Malu dao yao si.

Rawrrrrrrrr.
I am sick, I won't be going for training tomorrow.
Okay.

The little things that matters.

♥

3:32 PM

HELLO, PEOPLE.

BELLEBELLE'S BLOGGING FROM THE CLASS NOW, WITH A LOT OF PAIRS OF EYES LOOKING, BECAUSE THE PROJECTOR'S ON.

A lot of people dancing and jumping and shouting around. LOL. London brrrrrridge! ;D

Oooooohkay, I have nothing to do. -.-
Maxmax went for his class dance, then jiajia, twinny, junjun, laopo-s, popo and fafa went for training. Rawr, training tomorrow. I don't wanna go.. ):

It's not my fault that I'm noob what, don't have to give attitude right? I'll do my best to improve by leaps and bounds, that'll show her. Lalala, whateverrrr. I wanna be happy happy.

I'm just gonna wait here. Let me know when you're done thinking.
You'll be the best thing that has ever happened to me.
You [:

♥

9:10 PM

First, I would like to say that I haven't bought my slippers because peachie didn't come to school today. Rawr! Buuuuut, it's alright. (:

Today was fuuuuuuun! xD Played pool! :D YAYYYYYYYYYYYY. POOL, POOL, POOL! Heehee, jasper's my nu er! (x Okay, then I was being super gay, talking nonsense in my gay voice. Jasper jasper jasper! NU ERRRRRRR. Wheeee, YAYS.

Okay, that's all. HAHAH, now.. photos!

At the squash court.

"Max, are you here?"

"Present!"

HAHAHA.

Juncheng's being gay. :D

Max's slippers! Pardon my gay socks though. x)

Max can't fit into my shoes! xD

MAX TEH YU XIANG.

ICE KIMO.

On our way to thomson plaza.

Food court. Juncheng's a lousy photographer. He cut himself out, and the photo's blur!

& lastly, I love you all to bits and pieces. You're on of the best group of people I've ever been with. Thanks for everything again. (:

♥

1:19 PM

In school now. :D

I've gotten the photos from max already! Shall upload later. I'm gonna get max's adidas slippers later! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. ;D

Okay, shall come back to give all of you updates. I LOVE YESTERDAY! <3

♥

10:05 PM

BELLEBELLE IS SUPER HAPPY TODAY! [:

250207 ROCKED BIG

Went t0 j8 to buy chocolates for bestest and sweets. Then met simin, walked around, bought my lunch and simin bought her corn cup, then her father came to fetch us back to their house. :D
Went into her room to eat, then crapped a while, changed and went to fetch twinny up. Then slowly, jiajia came, then baohui, chloe, and some 2/4 girls.

We went to the squash court because they were supposed to practise their class dance. But then the boys started playing basketball lah. Haha, then the girls went off after a while to dance at don't know where, but I stayed on. (x Waited till max and amos came, then they started to dance. HAHA, their dance ahhhh, POWER! JIAJIA CHAO QIANG. ;P

Then I stepped onto max's feet, then we started walking around like that. (x Super fun lah! I love his adidas slippers and shirt! :D His shirt says, "Impossible is nothing." Then I kept repeating it. :D

After their dance, jiajia, twinny, juncheng, simin, chloe, renee, max, baohui and I went to ice kimo! :D The journey there was super funnnnnn! xD Shared banana split with simin. Whee, it's super nice! But when max's fondue came, we all chiong there and ignored our banana split.

FONDUE WAS SUPER GOOD LAH! We shall go there more often, okay! Max was super generous, he went to order another set of fondue to let us share! Simin was being mean and snatched max's seat, so we ended up sharing. Theeeeeen, juncheng and jiajia kept saying that we were a couple. Aye, I don't mind having max as boyfriend can!

Photo taking session came next after we finished our fondue. Choconut has to fail me yet again by running out of battery. ): So we had to settle for max and juncheng's w500i-s. I haven't gotten the photos yet, so I'll upload everything tomorrow.

Called home, and then dad said that they didn't cook for me, so dined with max, jiajia, juncheng and twinny while the rest went home. We sent chloe to the bus stop and waited for her bus with her, then we kept talking nonsense. ;P Baohui is right beside you, chloe.

HAHAHAHHA! Wanted to go to dino for dinner, but it was closed, so we walked to thomson plaza because max wanted to eat don't know what thai, but I have no idea why we ended up at the food court instead. HEH. We saw a SHOOTING STAR on the way. Then jiajia and I rushed to make a wish. HEEEEEEHEEEEEEE. Okay, it's actually just a plane. BUT! JIAJIA & I DON'T CARE! ;D CHILDISH MAH, CANNOT AH.

Bought our food, then started eating and crapping. After that, we went to play with the jukebox. Max went crazy over mariah carey's songs. Haha, then we all had a lot of thoughts when the songs were being played. Talked a lot, and laughed a lot also. I super love them! <3

BELLEBELLE WANTS YOU ALL TO REMEMBER THAT LIFE IS FRAGILE, AND YOU MUST LIVE EACH DAY TO THE FULLEST. IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE, PLEASE DO TELL THEM. OR ELSE YOU'LL ONLY LIVE TO REGRET, THINKING, "HE/SHE COULD HAVE BEEN MINE IF I TRIED." IT WOULD HAVE BEEN TOO LATE BY THEN. PLEEEEEEASE TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW THAT YOU LOVE THEM NOW, BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.

You're truly my all.
I want you all to know that I am very thankful to be able to have friends like you. Thank you for the smiles, laughter and tears. The good and the bad, the happy and the sad. Please let me know them all my next life again, people from above.

We talked about sec 4 graduation, and all that, and we talked about cherishing all we have now. It's a good bonding session. (:

We parted one by one, juncheng first, then jiajia, then twinny. Jiajia hugged me before we left! :D Yay, jiajia! & max waited for the bus with me. (: Thanks ah, I think I would have freaked out if I was left alone.

& I'm alone, but not lonely. (:

I'm going to buy the pink version of max's slippers tomorrow! (:
Photos up tomorrow after I've gotten them from juncheng and max.

♥

7:43 PM

I know I should be happy now, because I can brag. Rawr, I don't know what's wrong with me. Well, I've got what I asked for, and I should really concentrate on forgetting him, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I think I need him to be mean to me, then I'll hate him, then start to forget him. But.. gah, I don't know! I really really really like him a lot. ;X

But he keeps avoiding me lah, which can mean two things. Shall not list it out, go figure yourself. He has so many people admiring him lah, I have no idea why I have to add to the list also. Normally, I wouldn't even care about him at all if I knew that, but I'm weird these days, keep doing things that are against my own principles.

Hope laopo and junjun will be able to make it tomorrow. I want my subway cookies! & I really really need to go out.

Take the pain and doubts away, wipe away my tears. Turn back now and tell me I'm all that you want and need. I'll gladly give you all I possess. I love you, and it grows every single day. I can't pull myself back now, like a person who has dug a hole too deep and can't escape.

♥

10:41 AM

Next time, I should just shut up and not say anything dumb.
Now I'm in trouble. -.-
Stupid bellebelle.

But how come when I wish for ** **, it never came true! I just made a casual comment, and then.. Walaooooooooooo. I don't know what to do.

I am a bloody kuku bird! Rawr.

♥

10:33 PM

I'm talking to calvin laopo now.

He told me about ** **! They da fang, and the ** ** say laopo's very tall, and then he kept smiling when they da fang.

Walao, laopo's sooooooo xing fu. If only I didn't tell him that I like him, I would still be able to play volleyball with him. Sigh, oh well..

♥

9:42 PM

I don't know what I want.

I can't tell the difference between what I need and what I want.
I don't know what's the best for myself. ):

♥

8:26 PM

February seriously sucked cock.

Maths test today, quite confident. Then crapped with junjun, laopo, di di and popo. Super fun lah.

Wanted to go to j8 with popo and laopo after school, but then stayed in school instead. Kept walking round and round, just to try my luck. Managed to find ** ** in the canteen, then I was kuku. I waved and waved when his back was turned towards me, then all of a sudden, someone from his group turned, then I chua tio, faster turn away. Hope they didn't see. So retarded. -.-

Then training. Sucks, don't wanna talk about it already.

I've missed 130 because of a blind bus driver, then made me wait so long for the next one. I was so tired already, so I just cabbed home.

Aye. ): Wo you kan dao bu gai kan de dong xi le.. On someone's blog. ))))))))))))))))))): Sian diao please.

Bestest! I want roses.. Laopo, I want you to piggyback me.. Jiajia, I need a hugggggg.

I have a craving for subway cookies all of a sudden. Is anyone interested to go out with me tomorrow?

If you could be mine for a week or so..

♥

9:31 PM

February's such a screwed month. Even birthday sucked. With the exception of the greetings and presents lah. :D

Thank you for the bear, hweexian! Loved it. (:

Met hanwee at the bus stop at about 7.10, then he took the same bus as ** **. Wah, don't know what to say also. Walked to school, then chiong literature project.

Lessons were blah, but conversations between the four tables were super entertaining and funny. Di di, popomint, valval and bellebelle. :D Three little pigs! Haha! Wanted to go watch the netball match between st nicks' and amk with popo, but then he feels shy going with me. HAHA! Kidding.

Went to finish the literature project after school, okay, loo and valval did most of the job, I just did a little here and there. Walked around with deb most of the time lah.

After that, went to get bubble tea, then went back to school to wait for simin. Mingming aka jiaming aka derrick koh wanted to play pool, so went to ask mr ling with him. Then stupid potato made us wait so long. -.- Called deb and liting down after like, 1 hour or so later. zzz.

I lost all the matches can! ): Always so close to winning. Rawr, but I think I've improved a lot already lah! :D Today very on form. HAHA, THEN I MANAGED TO HIT #10 IN EVEN THOUGH IT'S IN A VERY VERY AWKWARD POSITION. :D FATED AHHHHHHHHH.

Ahem, then ya, simin came, mingming and janjan left. I lost to meimei also. ): Gah, sucks! I just couldn't hit the bloody #8 in. Shitty!

Then around 6, went to return the cue sticks & all. Stupid potato ling. Made me wait so long never mind, he said he lost my ez-link card? Then wanted ME to look around the field for it. Fuck luhs, then he act like nothing happened. Irrsponsible idiot. Cannot take care of people things, then don't take lah. Tamade. Heng he left it on his table, or else I'll make sure he gets a letter of complaint from my parents.

But I was in a super bad mood after that lah, so sorry meimei and deb. Was better when I went on the bus with peachie. Then went to shaw plaza to buy things, then went home. Ate chocolates, felt so so so so so much better. (:

There ain't nothing chocolates can't do. That's why I'm chocolatie! HAHA, okay, random + gay.

Random
jiayu = jiajia
jeremy lim = popomint
jeremy lee = jerjer
junwei = junjun
hweexian = xianxian
weikiang = juanjuan
derrick = mingming

Random-er
Laopo's gonna piggyback me tomorrow! :D Because I shi lian. But he doesn't want anyone to know. Please don't tell him I told you horh. HAHA, I love laopo please! My shoulder to cry on, literally. And he's super nice to hug. :D

Though it's not the shoulder I wanna lay on. ;X

Gonna meet hanwee at 7.10 tomorrow again. I'm so confused by myself. =/

Day one ; failed attempt.

♥

8:56 PM

I am not emo.

Training sucked, and I can't stop searching for you. ):

I need to stop doing it, stop gathering people to go down to the canteen and wait for you to appear. I won't do that again, I must stop, I must stop, I must stop, I must stop. I don't wanna care if anyone loves you and you love her back. I don't wanna act like an idiot, a stalker, a bloody irritating person. It's not me, I've been possessed this past month.

Class dance cannot make it. 2/3's not harmonised, not united. With so many things all coming at once, I think I'm gonna break down soon. Sorry loo for not being able to turn up for the lit project, and there's chinese test tomorrow, and then maths test on friday. I need to pass both with flying colours.

I'm so tired now. I need a pair of wings, I need to seek comfort from someone/somewhere. I need to meet someone new, just to help me forget. Forgive my selfishness, but I can't love myself when I'm like that. I need to stop trying so hard to achieve so many things.

I need to learn to be happy again, I need to learn how to smile, I need to learn how to let go, I need to learn how to love proper, I need to know how he feels, I need to know how they feel, I need to know so many things, but I have no idea how to.

I wanna cry, but I can't cry.

I still have so many things to say, but it's better not to? I don't know, I'm so tired now.

Sorry oriana for making you run so much today. Sorry tania for hitting you so many times with the volleyball. Sorry for this post.

Thanks hanwee and baohui laopo for the talks, and lollipop. Thanks mei mei and deborah for being there to talk to me. Thanks jia ming for the money.

I need to be strong now. I thought I've learnt from past mistakes, I guess I haven't. Gonna load myself with things to do, just to make sure you wouldn't appear in my mind.

Wo hen ai ni, dan ye hen bu hui ai ni.
Zhen de bu ke yi gei wo yi ge hao hao ai ni de ji hui mah?

♥

11:19 PM

AUNT'S SISTER IN LAW & HER HUSBAND IS EFFIN RICH! THEY HAVE THEIR OWN HOME THEATER OKAY, DO YOU SEE THE PROJECTORS? AND THE FLOOR MAT!

& THEY HAVE A WHOLE COLLECTION OF REAL SWORDS! IT COSTS $500 - $600 EACH, WITH THE MOST EXPENSIVE ONE AT $1900++! & it's a huge samurai sword which I didn't manage to get a photo of.

& THE RED WINE THEY SERVED IS OF TOP QUALITY ALSO! IT'S SO BLOODY GOOD OKAY! THEY ARE LIVING TEH LIFE. I'M GONNA WORK SO BLOODY HARD FOR ALL THAT THEY HAVE NOW.

& THEY HAVE SUCH NICE POSTERS!

They have a room at the third level, and it's filled with a whole collection of ultraman toys. Your jaws would fall if you see it for yourself man! They are crazy lah!

THEIR SON HAS ALL OF THESE TO HIMSELF! AND HIS ROOM IS LIKE DOUBLE THE SIZE OF MY ROOM!

Rawr, that's the life of the rich. Her husband cooks good food also can! He was a chef, and the a bartender, and now he's working in a bank or something. Then her father-in-law is also loaded lah. I'm gonna strive to be like her too. :D

I LOVE MY KOK!

HAHA :D

♥

10:58 PM

I BLOODY HELL LOVE MY FATHER'S SIDE OF THE FAMILY. MY UNCLES ARE ALL SUPER GOOD LOOKING AND FUNNY! :D

MY BLOODY GOOD LOOKING UNCLES ARE TEH LOVE. <3
ONE OF THEM LOOKS LIKE DANIEL WU OKAY! :D

Whee, random.
Got a lot of photos to post, so I shall just blog briefly.

Went to aunt's house and then my another aunt brought me to her relative's house to collect ang bao. HAHA, earned like, $34 there! :D Then the house is super cool can! Talk about it later, after I've uploaded the photos.

Then, went to my mum's side of the aunt's house, gambled, and then went for dinner. Went to shaw with cousin to watch epic movie! :D Met kokhow there, so we watched together! (x

Walked around for a while more then home-d. Yeap, and thanks everyone for everything. Greetings, encouragements and all. Sorry for being so emo all the time! =/ I'll try my best not to be emo.

P.S ; I'm gonna see my shuai uncles tomorrow again! :D MY EYES ARE GONNA FALL OFFFFFFF! WEEHOOOO!

♥

3:37 PM

)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))):

Sometimes, I wish I was her..

I need to take a break from everything.
I need someone to be my escape.
I need to stop crying.
I need to be happy.

Bloody hell, stupid birthday and chinese new year.
Stupid thing called love.
Stupid cupid.
Stupid useless heart.
Stupid bellebelle.

I thought I just got my miracle, but it all turned out to be a very beautiful lie.
Thanks ah, people from above. ):

♥

3:10 PM

Who told me agnes is attached?
I feel so bloody hell cheated can.
She still likes li en..
And she kept sms-ing him?
Fine, I lose.
I wanna break down and fucking hell cry my heart out.

):

I miss you.

♥

12:55 PM

PHOTOS!

With mummy.









My dearest cousin who just simply refuse to show her prettaye face to the world. :D

♥

12:50 PM

HELLO, I'M BACK FROM VISITING ALREADY, AND I ONLY RECEIVED 8 ANG BAOS! HAHA, WHATEVERRRRR. BUT I HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE WISHING ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

DESMOND NEO JIA WEI!
JANE!
THINTHIN!
MR CHRIS HO!
CRYSTAL!
JIA MING!
PEACHIE!
NORMAN TWINNY!
MY DEAREST COUSIN - SERENE!

THAAAAAAAAANKS FOR ALL DA LURRRRRRVE!

VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!

The very thought of you makes me so very happy.

♥

12:11 AM

LI EN WISHED ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALREADY!
HE'S THE FIRST! 12 AM SHARP OKAY!
SO LIKE, MY MIRACLE! :D

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR ALL THE GREETINGS!

YANKS
CHLOE TAN
TINGTING
KUANGYONG
DEBORAH
KARTIKA
FARTSIE TEO
SIMIN
BEN WONG
KOK HOW
LITING
JUNCHENG
CELINE
FELICIA
SHIKIN

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCHHHHHH.
ESPECIALLY LI EN.

You make me super duper duper happy.
You reduced me to tears with just one single message.
Tears of joy!
THANKS A MILLION!



♥

11:38 PM

Birthday in... 20 mins more!

Thank you all for wishing me happy birthday in advance! ;D

yuqing
ben wong
juncheng
denise
naipeng
xinyi
deborah

& I don't think anyone else did.
But it's alright, thank you all!

My birthday miracle.

♥

12:53 PM

I won't be getting any miracles today.
He's hint me that the furthest he'll ever go is liking me as a friend.
Bellebelle doesn't want enen as friend.. ):

♥

12:13 PM

Interesting how anyone knows everyone in singapore, probably because it's so small.
Don't believe? Go hop around friendster, and you will be surprised how people know each other. Yeap, why didn't I hop around last time? I would have known ** ** earlier. (:

Whatever, random post.

I want my miracle, I want my miracle, I want my miracle.
If only you knew..

♥

10:57 AM

CLASS DECO PHOTOS.




AT PASTAMANIA WITH RICKY AND EMILY.


♥

8:58 AM

That woman's being sucha bitch.
She promised to let me keep my ang bao money, and she's eating her words now.
Fucker.
Now I have to starve myself to ensure everyone has a present. Fine, I'm gonna die of starvation, or better, I'll be anorexic and needs to receive treatment. That'll definitely cost her more money. And she says I'm selfish and self-centred. Ha, pot calling the kettle black!

Whatever, miracle at 12am sharp tonight.
I really need it badly.

Happy fourteenth birthday, yuqing!

♥

9:31 PM

** ** wrote me a testimonial in return for the one I've written for him on valentine's day! :D

I'm happy although he's written exactly the same thing for michelle also. -.-

Okay, please please please please please bestow upon me a miracle on my birthday, dear God. I don't care what you do. Brainwash him or something, just make him say the three words consisting of eight letters to me, and I'll be eternally grateful to you. Okay fine, let's not be so greedy now. Happy birthday would suffice, and hopefully we can start a conversation that would never end. That would keep me high for a while. :D

Eh, I hope there will be an effort on his part also lah, because I keep getting those good kind of weird vibes. I want to be right this time, please. The feelings are there, and there to stay, I can't rid it off me.

I LURVE SHUE LI EN. SLE. SELETAR EXPRESSWAY. COCONUT SHOE EN EN'S DADDY. #10. THE ONE WITH AN IDIOTIC SMILE. MY PERFECT BRACES BOY.
<3

I'd give you the world, if you wanted me to.

P.S; HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YUQING IN ABOUT... 2 HOURS MORE! MUCH LOVES. PRESENTS AFTER CNY! ;D

♥

6:35 PM

The day leaves me high and dry.

Cny celebration in school today. ** ** looked super duper hot in red!
Kept looking at him from upstairs because we were supposed to go up to watch the lion and dragon dance. I hope he's looking at me too..

Then class decoration, went to the hall to peek at ** **. Theeeeen, recess, then our turn to go to the hall to watch the performances. After me searching for so long, ** ** finally appeared at the gallery.. Kept looking at him, I hope he's looking at me too..

Then went to wait for bus to go to toa payoh to meet primary school friends with liting, and saw ** ** again. I kept looking at him, I hope he's looking at me too..
He went on 130, and dropped at the stop opposite bhps.. I went on 88 and met ricky, kok how, nutty, and a lot of other people.

Went back to primary school together and saw mr ho. (: He's still so so so so super nice to me. Thank you for everything! He promised to invite me to his wedding. :DDDDDD Super cool, alright? But he's gonna teach at rgps soon, so I guess I won't be seeing him around for a pretty long time..

Played volleyball with ricky, naipeng and michelle with soccer ball and bullied our juniors. ;P Played monkey with them. Haha, everyone kept talking about my height. Thanks ah, I know I haven't been growing vertically, but don't have to suan whaaaat. ):

Went to shaw plaza with ricky, emily and ben. Then to toa payoh with emily and ricky. Had banana pizza at pastamania, then stone-d at the staircase beside the mrt station.. Then home.
Fell asleep while standing on the bus and my knees gave way a few times. Heng I didn't fall, or else super malu. -.-

& thanks lootong and yuqing for the presents. <3

Every single day I search and search for you, hoping to see the smile on your face - will you search and search for me to see the smile on my face too?

♥

9:23 PM

GONNA MEET UP WITH PRIMARY SCHOOL FRIENDS TOMORROW!

I'm gonna force people to take photos with me! :D

I LOVE BHPS! :D

♥

8:49 PM

IPP! Chloe wants to let everyone know that the blur blur thing is actually her. (x

VBALL B BOYS '07! CANNOT SEE ** **! ):

C BOYS '07!

♥

7:56 PM

Hello, hello!
Lessons were alright, and I love mrs tan super duper much! Asked her for the brownie recipe with denise, then started asking things about.. (:

IPP was super duper sucky. Sweat a lot, but had fun lah, I guess. (: I love 2/3 '07. Went to the hall for debrief then off to yck stadium with liting, weiting and deb to watch the b boys' zonal finals. :D

Saw desmond neo jia wei there! :D Not bad ah, looks quite shuai in person. ;P Kept sms-ing him and I made him promise me to give me chocolates and sweets if xinmin lost. But aye, they won. ): Sembawang was super qiang also. Good effort! (:

Tried to peek at ** ** during the match, but junhao and chiameng disturb! First cover with their big fat heads, then their bags. Rawr, bully! But made me laugh lah, because they looked very silly. LOL.

Then after the match was the prize presentation, chen lao shi came to ask for phone because the camera ran out of batt, then she wanted me to take photos can. Super awkward can! Later ** ** thinks I'm so siao, take photos of him.. =/ malu dao can die!

After the prize presentation, wanted to go back to school, so psycho-ed jia ming to go back with me! :D YAY, jia ming loves me a lot man, succeeded after a little while of psycho-ing. (: THANKS A LOT!

Played volleyball for a while, then went to the bus stop with hanwee and home! (: Thank you hanwee for waiting for the bus with me.

LOVE DESMOND A MILLION FOR TELLING ME ABOUT E BUDDY! I CAN GO ONLINE NOW! :D

I've fell for you hard. My sexy lips #10.

♥

10:15 PM

I have no idea why I'm so happy after I've added doesn't mind being anaabelle at orangielove. Haha, I'm silly, I know.

You've just proved yourself important in my life, heart, soul and mind.

♥

9:49 PM

Duckie just called me to wish me happy valentine's day. (:

Duckie: Hello, do you know who am I?
Me: I guess?
Duckie: You guess ah? Okay, never mind. Happy valentine's day, byebye.
Me: Huh? Byebye.

HAHA, and I don't know what happened to my voice! Became very gay and girly! =/
Not sure if it's really duckie or it's daryl, because he sounded like daryl..
But still happy lah, someone you haven't been talking to for a while calling you and wishing you a happy valentine's day. (:
Now, if only winny would call from thailand, and vachira from new zealand.. (:

♥

8:57 PM

& you're the missing piece.

♥

8:38 PM

Jiayu's attempt of being ku ku at the comp lab.



14th feb! With jie shi's rose. (:



HOTEL 81! HAHAHAHAHHA! Or number 18! (x

♥

8:01 PM

HAHAHA, BELLEBELLE IS THE BIGGEST KU KU BIRD EVER!
Cried in the morning and stopped only during chinese because chen lao shi was super funny. Aye, it's all laopo's fault, have to tell me that ** ** received balloons from people.. ): Then the things I made for valentine's day were like shit lorh, and so I couldn't bring myself to give it to him. In the end, deb got it, and she appreciated my effort. (: Thanks, deb! Love you loads. <3

Mrs tan gave us brownies for valentine's day! Mrs seah gave us cookies, and stupid nair gave me and valval a good dressing down. -.- FUCK LUHS, we didn't do anything wrong lah, valval just rested her head on the table because she was feeling tired, and I just closed my eyes for a while, and she came and suddenly shouted at me, and made me jump. IDIOTIC ASS MAN. Say what, she's been observing us for a very long time already, and from our faces, can tell that we don't like her, blah blah blah. Siao lorh, all our faces are the same, but she has to select valval and I to shout at. Bloody hell. Must be because it's valentine's day and she hasn't had a good fuck with her husband for a very long time, and she's having mood swings.

REMOVE HER FROM OUR CLASSSSSSS! Like what darlinggg said, she's contributing to singapore's aging population, she should just go away.

Went to the hall for class dance, then there were a lot of shoutings, cryings, and all sorts of nonsense lah. 2/3 can never be harmonious when it comes to class stuff, everyone has a mind of their own and want things their way. Sian diao lah..

Buuuuuut, when ** ** walked into the hall, my mood went from low to an all time high. (x Saw him smile a lot of times today during his training! SUPER HAO KAN! <3333333333333
Rawr, I don't know what I want man, I'm supposed to forget him, but I just can't do it! >< Takes time..

Played volleyball with hanwee, and jiao lian asked him if I was his girlfriend. LOL, and he said that I can receive balls better than him. ;P Played till around 4+ 5, then went to mac's with janette and jia ming. Hanwee treated me to green tea! :D THANKSSSSS.
Talked and janette told me about the thing jia ming asked her yesterday~ HAHA, bian tai ah, jia ming! (((((((((((((((((x

Went back school with hanwee again, then played volleyball with di di, jeremy-s, laopo, liko, junhao, zixiang and ******. Di di and j lim kept bullying me. But never mind, wo de pi qi hen hao de. ^^

Left for toa payoh to meet ade at around 6.30. Made her wait super long lah. =/ Went to buy bubble tea from her mum and took 139 home. (:

& thanks jie shi for the purple rose! <3
& thanks simin for the rochers! <3
& thanks deb again for appreciating my shitty chocolate! <3
& a happy belated birthday to my dearest kuya! (:

Ooooohkay, I got that feeling again. =/
I hope I'm right.. Everything points towards it.

4 more days to birthday, and I really really want ** **..

P.S ; screw you stupid poser on ** **'s tagboard. STOP TAGGING AS ME, USE YOUR OWN NAME IF YOU WANT LAH, KU KU BIRD. -.-

♥

10:39 PM

Finally done with everything. Must thank ade a million. Love you, babe! ;D

I'm so noob at this, I don't think I'll ever try to make anything again. So rush some more. Now so broke already. )))))):

Gonna wake up super early tomorrow to pack everything. A little sian eh, but for the sake of your happiness, I shall sacrifice! (:

** ** has chocolates! I made extras, so maybe some of you might get it also. ^^

& screw that bloody person who tagged ** **'s blog. Talk cock. Then ** ** actually replied man! zzz, I feel stupid.

Desmond cannot sign in to MSN also! HAHAHAHAHHA, but he blamed me for passing the virus to him. Not my fault! Ku ku, don't celebrate v day with me jiu suan le, hai lai yuan wang wo! ;P

I'm super excited and worried now! I hope the chocolates won't melt.. =/

I LOVE ** **'S IDIOTIC [according to laopo] SMILE. (:
So charmingggggggg.

140207!

♥

7:40 PM

Cabbed to CCAB with deb straight away after school to watch cedar girls' match. (x Taxi fare costed us $7, and we didn't even manage to see them play even one set. Rahhhh, but never mind, we managed to watch catholic high b boys play against zhonghua, and they were super duper pro okaaaaay! Almost every ball also thunder. Shuai si le. Then saw a lot of shuai ge-s! HAHA, all #8-s, #9-s and #10-s. I wanna be #10 already lah! So many shuai de. (x Oh, and I saw jiao lian there. Haha, he's super nice to girls okay! Then deb kept saying he got the bian tai look. LOL.

Cabbed again to j8 to meet naipeng with deb, cheryl and ade. Naipeng paid for the taxi fare! Whee, super nice. Okay, maybe not. It's because he was tired of waiting for us after 40 mins. xP Yay, like finally! Met up with naipeng and ade! :D Went to vivo because naipeng wanted to buy something for valentine's day for his laopo. ^^

Walked around to look for the shop, then went daiso to buy ribbons for my valentine's day gift. & then naipeng fell out with his laopo. =/ Aye, hope they work it out soon, since he put in so much effort for her for valentine's day.

Went to giant to buy marshmellows. Can't make strawberries already lah! I'm super poor. ): Then they don't have those big chocolate bars over there, so took mrt to toa payoh with ade to buy chocolate bars at ntuc. Gonna put in a lot of effort for your valentine's day gift, better appreciate horh!

Oooohkay, shall go have dinner now, then ade's coming over! xDDDDDDDD
Jia you c boys for match tomorrow! <3

I hope when the chocolate melts in your mouth, you'll finally feel the greatness of love.

♥

6:41 PM

You ren teng zhen hao.. ):

& thanks hanwee for the lollies these two weeks. <3

Seletar expressway<3

♥

6:18 PM

Guess what?
You never fail to irritate me too.

Thank you deb for being the first person other than mum and dad to give me my birthday present. <3 I love you.

& jie shi, I lovelovelovelovelovelove you. Thank you for the roses, though I haven't seen them yet. <3

& jia you c boys! Go win your last match and get into nationals. Zuo de dao de! Jia you, jia you, jia you! <3

& I can't keep my eyes off ** **. I must try my bestest to turn a blind eye to him, or else I'm gonna be very very crazy. ):

& fuck it. Thanks for making me pay so much to go to orchard with you even though you offended me with your tactlessness and end up not buying anything.

Someone please pull away the negative vibes from me. I'm supposed to be happy.

youyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouliyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouenyouyou
youyouyouyouyouyouyouyou

♥

9:39 PM

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))):
Desmond says he won't be able to msg me as much anymore, because his bills are going kaboom soon.

No one to entertain me already.

& I SAW SLE TAG AT SOMEONE'S BLOGGGGGGGG. I DON'T WANNA BLOG HOP ALREADY LAH. BUT THEN I WON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO. ZZZ, SIAAAAAAANNNNNN. FUCKZXSZXZSXZ MANZXZSZXSZXS.

I can't stand looking at you and knowing I won't ever be able to have you.

♥

8:41 PM

I'm gonna be fat this cny. It's one week before cny, and the kitchen's filled with a lot of goodies, and the fridge is full, and we had to bring things over to put at my grandfather's place. Aww, damn. I don't wanna be fat! ):

& I think I'm starting to dread valentine's day. =/ Don't feel like making cookies, chocolate coated stuff any more. Valentine's day sucks! ): I don't wanna spend it alone.

Talked to serene today about ** **, and what she said makes sense. But I just can't figure him out. Sigh, what the hell. All I could think about is ** **. I don't wanna see stars lah, change to moon can? Okay, lameeeeee.

Some bloody idiotic ass went to ** **'s blog to tag as BELLE. -.-That person is cranky okay! Always like to pose as me and tag people. Ku ku bird. Don't have your own identity ah? But whatever, like ** ** would care.

Ehhhhhh, I want ** ** to wish me happy birthday at 12 am sharp on feb 18, then I think it'll be a very joyous birthday for me already. Because at least he cares? =/

Going to buy chocolates with deb tomorrow after school, then I don't know what to do already. Because boys are having match, then I think peachie has piano lesson, and I don't wanna go home so early because MSN isn't working.

I think I should go look for a job or something. Can earn money and save myself from boredom.

TURNING FOURTEEN IN EXACTLY ONE WEEK'S TIME.

♥

6:19 PM

zzz, just told mummy I failed maths and she made a fucking big fuss out of it.
I hate her when she's like that.

And desmond isn't replying my sms.

Sian lah.

♥

12:34 PM

下弦月星满天
像谁泪涟涟
一阵风一首歌
摇晃思念
只恨年少爱逞强
为小事轻言离别

在春天过冬天
张眼睛冬眠
一颗心一种病
不停落叶
旧情怎么那么长
打了绕了几千结

有没有一把剑
可以真斩了藕断丝连
有没有一条线
能缝扯散了缘

独唱情歌最苦涩
逃不了的折磨
当生死相许说出口
别后悬念依旧

独唱情歌最苦涩
管不住的离愁
赶下眉头又上心头
我好想再暖和你手

下弦月星满天
像谁泪涟涟
她微笑她捧花都看不见
我只听着你从前
捧着声张的誓言

在春天过冬天
张眼睛冬眠
看倔强带幸福
越走越远
有时不愿让一点
最后却失去一切

):

♥

12:00 PM

Aye, I'm forced to switch to the new blogger. -.-

So many matches going on on monday.
JIA YOU, PEOPLE!
ZUO DE DAO DE!

Take care of your ankle, desmond..
Don't push yourself too hard, you've already secured a place in the nationals.

Horoscope says An old wound might suddenly demand your attention. Now is a good chance to heal from the past. If you're willing to look at the problem directly and acknowledge your part in it, you can move on.

Which old wound is it talking about? I keep thinking back into the past, wishing that I haven't done the things I did. How many times have I not blamed myself for not cherishing it? But I just can't move on.



I think I'm crazy. I'm idolizing kaiyuan and thomas now. =/

Okay, random post.

I wish I knew how you feel and the reason why.

♥

9:19 PM

I should really stop blog hopping. -.-

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckedup.

I should just go fall in love with a gay. I bet it'll be more fruitful than this. RAWR.
Whatever, I shouldn't care.
-.-
** ** isn't everything.
):
But I could give ANYTHING for him.
I am darn stupid, thank you very much. I know that.
2 more days to mark one month.

I've got a feeling that one day, when I read my posts and think back, I'll want to die and dig a hole so that I can stuck my head in.
HAHA, THAT CAN'T BE ME. SO RETARDED AND STUPID.

I'm losing confidence in finding the right one already.
Ai yi ge ren zhen de xu yao hen da de yong qi. ):

♥

8:43 PM

I hate myself for thinking and talking about you all the fucking time.

Mr ong finally said that I should join volleyball. :D I am to join the b girls' training. How come ah! I thought supposed to be with c girls? =/ Okay, whatever, I am happy to get his approval! WHEEEEEEEE. Playing volleyball with him is super duper fun and keeps you alert all the time. xD

Played volleyball with renee, liko, jane, jia ming, seraphina, wang kee, jasmine, zi xiang, junhao and deb. (: I love volley, I love volley, I love volley! (;

** ** was close by, then I kept getting distracted because I tried to search for him. Ayeeeee, he's avoiding me again. -.- He must've done a lot of good deeds his last life, that's why he's so bloody good-looking and well-liked by girls. ): WHY WASN'T HE A MEAN PERSON!

Don't know lah, I just can't bloody hell give up. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. I'm such a screwed person. ): I must jia you already! Or else I'll despise myself for being so low-down, got rejected twice by the same person already still not enough, must keep asking for more.
BELLE CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT.

& I wish that my firewall can stop blocking MSN. I haven't been online for so many days already! I think I'm gonna die soon. ):

Pluck up the courage to love and care for someone, love wouldn't wait forever.
You've been so silly to let love slip away once. I have no idea what kind of a person that girl is, but one thing I'm sure of is that she can't be any bad because she managed to make your datomine/oxytocin work.
I wanna shout out to the world ;

P.S ; I want mr ong's nike bag! It's super duper pretty!

♥

2:28 PM

Jiayu and juncheng got consumed by jealousy. -.-
They kept flooding people's tagboard with nonsense.
Prrrrrrooooo!

♥

1:57 PM

HELLO(: Blogging from school lab now.
Eh, then junsheng, aaron and max are nearrrrr. (x
Junsheng, it's my birthday soon. You know, you know.. (:
You know, the you know.. The thing starting with the letter p then ends with t and the middle is resen? ;D

Aye, very bad mood today.
Then started crying in class before recess, then cried on laopo's shoulder. Rahhhhhhh, I hate periods! Always make me emotionally unbalanced. EEYER, SUCK COCK OKAY!

& I kept seeing ** ** today. SUPER GOOD LOOKING LAH. He only appears when I don't wanna see him, then when I want to see him, I have to search high and low, far and wide, and still can't find him.

THAT ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME. I DON'T KNOW WHY ALSO. I want people on top to be nicer to me from now on. Please please? (x

Ohhhhhkay, baohui shall keep visiting my blog from today onwards and TAG. Or else I'll bite! (:
bh:lol i so scared!!!

Okay, shall go off nowwwwww. Pei baohui laopo qu makan. (:

♥

5:52 PM

This is bad, very very bad.
I think the virus has blocked my account on the laptop, because I think dad wouldn't dare change my password.
Currently using the account without pass. What the hell, I'm so dead man. Daaaaaaaamn that stupid virus. >:(
So, I'm gonna see if deleting MSN helps, since it's the reason why my laptop got the virus.

Lalala, went to watch b boys' match today. WAH, they were super duper duper shuai okay! Lihao, thomas, jiarong and zaiyou. (: KAIYUAN CAN JUMP SUPER HIGHHHHHH! I shall make an extra effort to jump super high, so I can be spiker also. Val and I were super nervous for them, because they were losing after the first match. We kept going closer and closer to each other, then end up pushing each other away after the nervous-ness wore off. Haha, super gay. ;D

Theeeeeen, someone played the last set. Then I don't know why, laopo said that my face would turn red everytime he spiked. I think laopo's lying. Haha, but I admit to clapping super hard lah. I MUST FORGET AND CONTROL MYSELF. Yesyes, extra effort shall be put into that matter. (:

Overall, I'm a super happy girl today. Went back to school with hanwee and homed. (x
Gonna make cookies with mummy tomorrow because she's on leave! Valval wants to come. (:
Wheeeee, super excited.
But my super romantic valentine's day plan got cancelled because I got rejected last night. HAHA, okay, I shall carry out the plan on zixiang because he has 6 pecs. Okaaaaay, kidding. Please don't choke or anything if you're chewing on your fishballs. I'm not gonna take responsibility if you do.

AAAAAAND, bellebelle has been accepted into the volleyball team. (: I'm gonna go for training after cny!
WHOOOOOO. (: JERSEY NUMBER EIGHTEEN/TEN/TWO PLUS VOLLEYBALL TEE. I'll work hard to get into main team and become spiker.

FIVE MORE DAYS TO VALENTINE'S AND TEN MORE DAYS TO BIRTHDAY!

I'd give you the world, but you just wanted the comfort of home.

I'll learn not to care gradually.. even the smile on your face and the way you spike won't be able to make my feelings sway.

♥

10:05 PM

I think my laptop got affected by the virus already. ):
It blocked out MSN, and I only just managed to get back the internet connection after super duper long.

Aye, failed attempt at making cookies with peachie today.
Then I sms-ed ** **, but still, I didn't get a reply.
See, wanna give up for good also so difficult.

Okay, he just replied.
He asked me to give up.
Haha, something stabbed my heart.
Just read the first sentence, and I don't know if I have the courage to continue reading on.

Lalala, I'm such a failure sometimes.
I'm gonna write in this sarcastic and monotonous way for a while I guess.
Because I don't wanna appear emo. I am not emo. (:
HAHA, I'm a happy kid.
I don't know and don't care.
I won't cry, because I'm so tired now.

I wanna fucking stop being so vulgar and emotional.
Annabelle shall be very very very very nice to everyone.
TRY TO.
So please don't offend me, I'm trying so hard to keep my temper under control.

Annabelle scored 17.5 for science and 18 for history.
A2 man. It's a first for history.

& jia you, cboys.
Go win your matches and make it to top 4 for zonals.
Australia is waiting.

I love peachie for that little thing she has done for me.
Thank you, some times, it's the little things that matters the most.

♥

9:45 PM

I should stop blog hopping.

What the hell is wrong with me! ):

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

zen me gao de, yi zhi deng, yi zhi deng. dou deng bu dao xing fu de dao lai.
hao xiang zai hao hao ai ni yi ci.

Laopo's birthday tomorrow.
I LOVE YOU, LAOPO!

Oh, and I love my half cantonese, half hakka di di. Cantonese sounds super high class. (:
WO YAO ZAI AI DI DI DUO YI DIAN, BECAUSE.. I don't wanna say. (:
<3

I think I'm gonna wait till 18th feb and ask him for an answer once and for all. (:

♥

9:20 PM

RAWR, I've been trying to sign into MSN for two hours already. Super zzz now. Plus I just got back my internet connection. Don't know what's wrong with it again. -.- So now I have to use web messenger. Trying to sign in now.. WTF LAH, STILL CANNOT.

Aye, super tired today. Don't know what to blog about also. Lazy to list out all the things I did.

Jeremy lim sprained his ankle while walking yesterday because he fell into a drain while looking at his popomint. Copy choconut. (x

Okay, random. I think I love alien super duper duper much. Even more random.

Alright, off I go. Please tag! (:

♥

8:38 PM

OHOHOH, AND JIAO LIAN IS SUPER MEAN. SAY ** **'S A CHAO AH GUA LAST TIME. WALAOOOOOOOO. NOW EVERYONE'S LAUGHING AT HIM. RAH.

♥

8:08 PM

I'm currently mouse-less because I'm too lazy to connect the mouse to the lappie. Lalala, okay.

It's proven that I'm not pregnant already, because my period finally came. I'm super happy, but then it hurts so much okay. My tummy and my v*****. RAWR. Cramp like siao lorh. )x

Aye, I don't wanna blog already. No inspiration.

Buuuuuuut, I think I'm very dependent on someone already. It's like, I'll feel quite empty and bored without someone. Gah, I wish we'll go on like that for a while. (:

LAOPOOOOO. I THINK I FOUND MY LIMO ALREADY! ;D

Oh anyways, jia you cboys! Cheer up and move on. All the best for all your upcoming matches. <3

♥

6:22 PM

HELLO, I am happy today! :D

I think everyone should go out on a day with very nice weather in a car. (: I felt super happy on my way to the salon from my aunt's house.

I thought about desmond daddy, calvin & bao hui laopo, jiayu, deb, peachie, simin, winny, valval, keith, derrick, jeremy-s, hanwee, jane, renee, liko and ** **. Thank you for the good times and bad times, it will stay with me forever, close to my heart. (:

Oh, anyways. I got a new haircut! Yay, I love haircuts. xD Eh, I look quite kuku? Don't know lah, kuku = cute, so I must not be upset. Yes, kuku = cute, kuku = cute x100. (x

If I'm not pregnant, I think I have to go lose fats already. I feel so irritated by the lump of fats.

& I'm gonna buy a comb, a mirror, clips, rubber bands and a very cute little bag to contain all those things in after cny as my birthday present for myself.

I'M TURNING FOURTEEN IN FOURTEEN MORE DAYS! xD

Hello, peachieeeeee. Me want pressieeeeeee! ((((((((((((((((((x

♥

10:02 PM

Oh, and I think I might be pregnant or something. I can feel my stomach moving, and I feel very heavy all of a sudden. And I've been missing my period! Eh, but I haven't had sex eh..

Can you get pregnant by thinking about having someone's babies? If that's so, then I'm guilty. I kept thinking about having ** **'s babies! Eh, like that can I go bug him to take responsibility? (x

I don't know lah, I just feel so pregnant! =/

♥

9:32 PM

I wanna be that innocent and blur little girl again. Banging into walls, lamp posts, doors and all that. I wanna be loveeeeed. Why is it so bloody difficult?

I think shorties are not in fashion any more. How come now boys don't wanna love xiao meimei! ): Last time being short was super cool lah, because you have people taking things for you when you can't reach, and you get patted on the head because people find you short and cute.

Now it's like so -.-. RAWR, I don't like. I wanna go back to primary school and continue being short. Secondary school life is so super realistic and practical. BELLEBELLE DON'T LIKE. ):

I miss valval all of a sudden.
& jia ming sms-ed me just now. (:
Wheee, I love jia ming super duper much! xD

Alright, random random post. But at least it's better than emo posts right!
Ohkay, I wanna type moreeeee. But I don't know what to say luh.

Ehhhhhh, I want the boys to win the rest of their matches! JIAYOU, JIAYOU. Jiayu had better take care of his poor ankle. He said he was vital in matches okay! & he's #10. I wanna watch them play eh. I heard sec 1s are allowed to skip school to watch them play! ):
But mr ong said I was too short. EEYER, libero cannot meh?! Rah. Aaaaanyways, good luck for your match on monday! <3

Okay, I think I've crapped enough already. Goodbye. (:

♥

12:20 PM

500th post.









I love being retarded.

My fight against desire is useless.
I don't wanna bloody care any more.
If only you would see.
Just turn back and I'll be there.

♥

10:21 PM

I feel so empty and lost.
February started off with a lousy note for so many people; I'm afraid that it's a sign or something. It's my birth month after all. Please let things get better by mid-february, or else I'll feel even more empty and disappointed.

I think I'm going to cry myself to sleep tonight or something. I just lost my temper at laopo. Fuck everything that's happening. That bastard at my house kept nagging non stop at me last night, so I couldn't control myself and shouted for him to shut up. Then he kept shouting at me?
zzz, I feel so down again.

Bloody february. I'll forsake my birthday, valentine's day, chinese new year, anything, just to make sure everyone's happy.

I'm a bloody failure lah, even maid also showing attitude. Slam window and draw the curtain so loudly. Fuck you lah, bloody maid. Always show attitude. Screw you.

Please please please let things get better, people on top. You've always been watching over me, please keep on doing so. I need you so bad, I need the faith and courage to keep going.

I know I've asked for this on many occassions, but can I have the gift of love for my birthday? Or simply just happiness will do. Let me be happy for a very very long time, and let people be nice to me all my life.

I'm so tired now. I feel so numb inside. It's like I'm just living with my shell, and the rest of my insides are dying. ):

I'm gonna sleep soon. Goodbye.

♥

9:34 PM

I think I'm over you, finally.

Hope you're happy now.

Ohohoh, 16 more days to my birthday! :D

♥

8:30 PM

Today was nonsense, so I shall not elaborate. (:
Here to be random! :D

I saw him today. My mouth was filled with bubble tea and pearls when he saw me. HAHA, unglam! I almost spit everything out and melted because he looked at me lah! STRAIGHT AT ME CAN. <3 Bloody hottt.

Oh, and I'm transferred to 2/5 for chinese lesson with val and celine. Sitting behind laopo and j lee! xD I'll miss jane though. I'm sorry I can't be your tarzan. ):

Theeeeeen, oh ya. With regards of the tag on my tagboard, if I'm gonna get killed or anything, please take note that it's CYNthia who killed me. Please contact her at cynthiakoh92@hotmail.com. But in the first place, someone's actually desperate enough to get my blog's template and adobe photoshop to actually threaten me. Sigh, desperate people are damn difficult to understand. -.- I bet she was the one who tagged fartsie and peachie's blog as me. Siao eh. But whatever lah.

There are things that I have to do before dying.
& these things are [note: not in order!]:-

tell my friends and family how much I love and appreciate them.
go run in the rain with li en and letting him know how much I'll miss him when I'm gone.
find someone to take care of choconut, coconut and my bears.
see the person who's currently at new zealand.
talk to winny on the phone.
play volleyball all day long with the special ones.
watch the sun set and sun rise with li en.
go star gazing with the boys.
let flower know that I've regretted letting go of our love and sacrificing our friendship.
do crazy things.
eat many many exotic things.
bake cookies, cakes and such for everyone.
go crazy at kbox again.
help deb to be happy kid.
go for waxing.
go for spa.
shop till I die.
kiss a guy with braces.
help peachie find her one and only love.
help val to regain sanity.
watch the boys get into nationals and winning it.
receive a hundred roses from someone. or maybe I can buy them myself..
help renee to stop mood swinging.
help emily to stop getting her heart broken.
help crys to finally get a boyfriend.
go to korea.
have a snow war.
catch a good movie.
read a good book.
see straight As in my report book.

Eh, I guess that's about all for now. (x
Off I go then.

♥

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